Thursday, August 31, 2006

Tuesday Night Recap

I thought it would turn out a lot worse than it did. All of us were confused and nervous, but we did a good job considering it was our first time. We weren't as organized as we could have been, but now we have learned from our mistakes. Next time we should all try to have our scripts ready to go before 8:00 P.M. so that we have time to practice, etc.

I'm beggining to work on a script that will involve everybody's participation!

See ya tomorrow.

Rrrreview of Tuuuesday

Good to see all of you posting about the show! To echo some sentiments that have already been expressed, a lot more energy could've been put into preparation for the show. Like having enough scripts printed out, already having a roster of which scripts were being aired posted on the blog beforehand, etc etc. But now that you all got a good taste of the Darkness Visible craziness, you know just how to raise the bar. : ) You all did great. The energy level was amazing.. you totally built off each other. If you can keep it fun and exciting like you did Tuesday, all is well. The past two years, sometimes there was a problem keeping the energy level up.. but if you guys continue what you've already started, I see no troubles. And I LOVED the accents haha.. Walker and Nate as rednecks especially. That made my night. Oh, and Eric's mafia shindig.. "here's ya mah-nee". I do think there's room for variety in script genre, as someone already mentioned. They were all comedies, if I'm not mistaken. It'd be nice to have some drama on the show.. and a spin on current events, too. I'm glad some scripts have already been posted, and I look forward to looking over some more before our next show on Tuesday!! : D

My thoughts on the night of the 29th

Guyz..... First of all I want to congradulate everyone on a job well done for the first show. Eventhough we were a little unprepared I feel like we did the best job we could have. The confusion was to a minimum I feel like we had a control of what was going on and that everyone one was were they needed to be when they needed to be there which made things run smoothe. Although Lilly forgot to turn of my mic when I was chatting with her; nothing inappropriate or unauthorized got on the air. People we need to work on our acting skills. Nate you were sick as well Walker Texas Ranger... Impressive! I did not contribute as much as I should've and I promise to deliver the www.WhatTimeWillItRain?.com.
I am excited for the next show and expect a dang gosh darnit good one.

OoOoO yeah... lets get a new dj with a sense of taste

reflections in the water of beauty

yo that was a dope show, we had some slow parts, but the up parts were niiiiiiiice. I personally thought that all of my scripts were the best, with the exception of maybe one of walkers scripts. I will do my personal best to ensure that the illest scripts will always be ready every tuesday night, and that we will hold it down from here on out until christmas. out of a possible 10 points of hte show, i give us a 7, which is not bad for a first time. we were so fresh and so clean, and we're only gonna get better. i think we should all have a sit down and decide what worked, what didnt work, and what could work if we tweak it a lil bit. tommorow morning i hope to have this conversation with all y'all. if you would like to conference with me before tommorow, hit me up, holla at ya boy, peace up, O town. Good show everyone, the only place to go is up.

hey blogger!

i thought tuesday went just dandily. I was calm the whole time but had a feeling there would be some large scale screw ups but i was surprized there wasnt. i liked being a vj and playing songs the best but acting on the radio was a lot of fun too. i streamed some of our show of the wprk and it sounded real good. i liked how the show turned out a lot. my parents listened to it too because my families tight like that and they thought it was a good show too considering we are students and that it was our first group venture into the world of soundwaves and radio broadcasting. i liked having everyone acting and such but im really excited to hold a show down by myself. i think theat will be great. i thought it was funny how into everything Walker gets hes funny. Nathan Fulton was just a comic mastermind with his scripts and radio persona. Sarah's psycic run was so funny, she's great. Everybody had strong performances. I thought that Professor Boles did a great job running things from behind the scenes while letting us do our own thing. Seth Stutman was a very positive team member who had a lot of legit feedback and knowledge to impart on our young minds. Lily Velez was strong pointing at people to get them to go on air. Overall i felt we had a strong radio show and i was proud to be apart of it. I cant wait till next week and the weeks after when the shows get better and better!
I'm really excited about this!

Short Iraq script

Iraq

Soldier 1: How many?

Soldier 2: 24

Solder 1: In the country, I meant

Soldier 2: 52, at least.

Soldier 1: (sigh) You, know why?

Soldier 2: We signed up for this. We knew what could happen.

Soldier 1: (bit anger/annoyed)(two quick short breaths)I signed up to go to college. I mean, I didn’t think I would end up here, huddled in a bunker, just waiting for those damn bombs to drop over us.

Soldier 2: About half of us thought the same way, You know that. I would have gotten my degree by now. But that’s the trade off. They get us an education, We go to wherever they need…(interrupted)

Soldier 1: Damn, You know that’s crap. All this death, and the cries of suffering, over what? U.S Security? So over 100,000 of innocent people have died, for someone back home can go shoot up heroine into their arm, and rot away slowly.

Soldier 2: Hey! If we weren’t here, how many of innocent American would be dead now? Just shut your mouth before I do it for you.

(pause)

Soldier 2: Sorry. If dad ever heard me say that to you, we would have slapped me over the head, huh.

Soldier 1: Yeah he would have. (slight pause) I wish we could be home now.

Soldier 2: It wouldn’t be the same without dad.

Soldier 1: 6 months has it been. Right?

Soldier 2: yeah. If he didn’t(pause) pass, it still wouldn’t be the same.

Soldier 1: This war has changed us.

Soldier 2: This war has changed everything. Nothing can ever be the same.


So, uh Tuesday night

I thought that Tuesday night went well. I was super nervous at the very beginning, and even more nervous when I started payback. I looked over at Rich and he seemed so calm that I kind of chilled out. I thought it was an overall good show. I think this week might be just as challenging if we don't prepare before hand. Thank you Seth for playing New deep, I hope you play it every Tuesday. I've got a few ideas for scripts floating in my head, I posted up one and have one that I can't find. So I hope you guys like it.

I thought that Tuesday night went well. I was super nervous at the very beginning, and even more nervous when I started payback. I looked over at Rich and he seemed so calm that I kind of chilled out. I thought it was an overall good show. I think this week might be just as challenging if we don't prepare before hand. I've got a few ideas for scripts floating in my head, I posted up one and have one that I can't find. So I hope you guys like it.

Wednesday night

Melanie; Wow this place is more empty than a Backstreet Boy revival Concert. So many seats, so many computers so many to chose from. That’s good no one’s here, I need the peace and quiet, that’s why I came to the library’s computer room. I’ve got this big paper do tomorrow and I need to start. That paper is the start of my new life. The start of a new beginning. The end of an era. Okay I guess I should get started. So I’m going to pick a seat and just start typing. This one this one seems good. It’s right by the door next to the bathroom, just in case I want to go to the bathroom and I have to go real bad. I can just get up and go. So can everyone else and all I’ll hear is flush, flush, flush, flush. Their goes my grade right down the toilet. Not literally, but metaphorically. Nope, Nope this seat doesn’t work. I know, I’ll sit on the opposite side of the bathroom. Here, right here, this is perfect. I don’t have to worry about being to close to the bathroom. But, what if I’ve got to finish the most important sentence of the most import essay of my life, before I loose my train of thought and I have to use the bathroom. So, I get up and then I come back and can’t remember anything. I flunk high school and Billy the Boy I’m obsessed with, will never ask me to prom. So instead, I wait until I can finish this sentence that turns into a paragraph. So I just keep holding it. Then I really got to go but know I can’t I can’t lose that train of thought. So I keep typing and holding and typing and holding it and typing and holding. Then I can’t hold it any longer so I race to the bathroom. I’ve held it so long I can’t go. So I won’t drink anything until I can. If I can’t go how long can I not go for, a day, a month? I’ll die from either dehydration. Or worse I’ll explode and it will be in the class with Fredrick the man of my dreams, and then he’ll never ask me to marry him. My life will be over metaphorically and literally all because I chose to sit and do my paper in this chair. Nope, nope, nope, not going to work. I know, right there, there is perfect. Ah, I am perfectly fine sitting right here. Yup, yup, yup here is where I want to be. Perfect, Perfect, Perfect. Oh, and look a window seat. Oh look there’s a beautiful bird. Hello, birdie. Oh the mama bird is teaching the baby birds how to fly. Oh fly little birdies oh they’re so cute. Oh there goes the mama up, up, up she goes. Ah, so beautiful. There goes the first bird down, down and up, up it goes boy oh boy is it a beauty. Awe, and there it goes flying right back to the nest. Now it’s the littlest ones try. Oh, up, down , up ,down, up, up, up, up, and then down again down and down it keeps going down oh no bird down, bird down, save him mama bird go, go now, he’s going to hit the ground save him mama bird save him no no no no no. Mama birds racing to catch him, mama bird catch him. I can’t look I can’t look. I can’t look away I can’t look away. She’s got him. Thank you Jesus. (pause) Whew, what a relief. There the baby goes safely back in the nest. What are you doing mama bird? Are you going to try again? There she goes starts flying again. I think this is a bad idea mama bird that was more of rollercoaster than Islands of adventure the incredible hulk. HAWK, HAWK, WATCH OUT MAMA BIRD THERE’S A HAWK HEADING RIGHT. Oh, wow. I’m definitely not sitting at the window anymore. Yeah, that was definitely a bad idea. No, no, Here it is, this is the perfect seat. Not to close not to far. This is it. Wait let me sit. Yes, this is perfect, perfect, perfect. Yeah let’s start typing. Wait a minute, who am I talking to? There’s no one in hear. I’m all alone. I don’t think I’ve ever been alone. I can’t do this I got to find somebody to sit here with me. Someone who will talk too loud, or talk at all, type to loud. Right now I just need to here somebody else breathing. I can’t breathe. I got to get out of here I’ve got to find somebody now.

Josh; Huh, it’s empty. That’s strange I could have sworn I heard, never mind. Cool this one’s already on. The American Revolution and what it meant to me.

Melanie; What are you doing?

Josh; typing an essay.

Melanie; yes typing an essay on my computer. That is my seat. That is my key board and those are my keys.

Josh; I don’t know if you’ve noticed but there’s thirty different computers in here.

Melanie; that’s right there are thirty different computers in here. Different. Each one having there own feel there own vibe. This computer is my vibe.

Josh; Is this your lucky computer. The one you type all your essays on and gives you a guaranteed A. I can completely understand that. I have this lucky sock I bring with me to every the basketball games, and the only time we’ve ever lost was when I didn’t have my lucky sock with me. Coincidence, I think not.

Melanie; Crazy, I think so.

Josh; Fine, find another computer then.

Melanie; Let me level with you, what’s your name?

Josh; Josh

Melanie; Josh, may I call you Joshua?

Josh; No, you can call me Josh.

Melanie; Now Joshua

Josh; Josh.

Melanie; Right, Joshua, I need this seat, these keys this computer. If I don’t have this seat Joshua I will have to watch a poor innocent bird grow up without a mother, which will distract me from writing this paper. Or I’ll die from dehydration or just one day explode. Then I’ll never marry Fredrick or go to the prom with Billy. So I’m going to be as blunt as I can, MOVE.

Josh; I’m out of here. Word of advice, there’s free help at this school, I recommend you go until you can no longer afford it.
Melanie; That doesn’t even make any since. (shouts) Hey that doesn’t make any sense! Oh computer once dragged from me and we’re reunited once again.(I’m alone again) I’m alone again. No, no, Joshua comes back.

Gary; Uh the computer rooms empty, well isn’t that lucky. The American Revolution and what it meant to me. I guess somebody’s work on this computer. Oh the one right in front of it is on. Well I’ll just get started. Supply and Demand, just a theory, or a way of life?

Melanie; There’s no one in this freakin library where is, Hi.

Gary; Hey

Melanie; Your breathing.

Gary; Yeah.

Melanie; That’s great. I’m Melanie what’s your name.

Gary; Gary.

Melanie; That’s cool. Gary it just rolls off the tongue, Gary. Ha, I like it.

Gary; Me to.

Melanie; So um gare can I call you gare? I like giving my friends nickname like Michael, I call him mike or Thomas I call him tom. You know, stuff like that. You know I’m cool, cool people give nick names, I.e. me. Josh I call him Joshua, Sam I call him Sammy. Generally nick names are shorter but, when your cool it doesn’t matter you know what I mean gare.

Gary; Listen Melanie, you seem like a nice girl but I really got to finish this paper.

Melanie; Oh no problem; I got yah. I ask you to be friend and you abandon me that’s fine.

Gary; I’m not aban, what.

Melanie; (laughs) It was a little jokie, joke. First joke among friends. That, that right there is history. You should write that down, or since you’re at a computer type that down. Hah, hah, and the jokes just keep coming with a friend like me.

Gary; Melanie.

Melanie; Call me Mel.

Gary; Mel
Melanie; Call me anytime?

Gary; What?

Melanie; Another joke. See what I mean nothing but good times in store for us.

Gary; Melanie

Melanie; Mel

Gary; Mel um I really got to work on this paper it’s really important to me. So I don’t fail and

Melanie; I get it, and you know what’s important to me

Gary; What?

Melanie; You are.

Gary; Okay.

Melanie; So write your paper we have plenty of time to talk afterwards, don’t worry
about it. Okay, gare

Gary; Okay.

Melanie; What kind of paper is it?

Gary; Economics.

Melanie; Oh that’s cool. I was going to take that class but I chose dance instead. It was right after lunch. Word of advice don’t eat a burrito and then attempt a purée.

Gary; Melanie

Melanie; Hey those are words to live by.

Gary Listen I ‘m trying real hard to be nice but you’re making it incredibly difficult. Now turn around and leave me alone.

Melanie; I’m sorry. Are we still friends?

Gary; Sure we’re still friends.

Melanie; Then we could hang out.

Gary; Sure why not.

Melanie; You swear Gare

Gary; Yes, as long as you let me finish this paper.

Melanie; Okay mums the word.

Gary; Okay

Melanie; You won’t here a peep out of me.

Gary; OKAY.

Melanie; What’s that you here uh, not me.

Gary; Melanie.

Melanie; Sorry.

(PAUSE)

MELONY; So where do you want to hang out?

GARY ; Bye Melanie it was… bye Melanie.

Melanie; There goes my future ex-husband. Wow got of love that man. What the hell am I doing here? Oh, I’ll just open up my planner, let’s see, Wednesday. Oh here we go. That’s right. My favorite color is pink, because it is pretty. Whew, that was a toughie. This is definitely an A paper.

some thouhgts

We really need to prepare the skits earlier so that we can have that hour before to practice. and any practice that we can get would be good. Im also trying to figure out how to get music for one of my new skits...if someone could help me, that would be awsome. good job, thought, with the last show...it went way better than any of us expected.

Darkness Visible Radio

Before the show started, i was a bit nervous and i also wasn't in the mood to go on the radio. But, once it got started, the show felt easier and more fun than i thought it would be. I know next week we will be more prepared and excited for the show. For the next show, we need to rehearse more to get more flow with each other when we get on the air. I think we should get more variety in scripts because i think all of them this week were meant to be comedies. For next week, adrian and myslef are working on a script or two for the show. We are brainstorming some ideas but haven't came up with a definite idea yet.

Darkness Visible Radio

Darkness Visible Radio

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Thoughts on our First show. 8/29/06

Honestly, I think I speak for everyone when I say that I thought our first show was going to bomb. Yes we had SOME material, but not much. About half of the class had major technical problems with the blog, and nearly everyone in the class was organized. I could tell that Dr. Boles was a little upset/ worried about the lack of scripts, and I kept thinking about how bad this show was going to bring my grade down. Trying to keep myself busy and attempting to keep out of the way of the teacher, I helped Seth pick out some music. It seemed as if no one was ready or prepared, we were just printing up all of the necessary scripts and then BANG! The show started and we were forced to start putting things on the air.

Once the show started though, something funny happened; people started scrapping, and the show came together. I think we picked up steam as the show went on. Payback was a great script and I think that after everyone heard that, we all kind of realized that “Hey, we can do this thing, and do it well.” It set the tone for a good night. Amanda and Maddy were also great in Coffee talk (another good script) and the music selection was awesome. I think that the calmness of the music help keep us cool and focused throughout the night.

Personally, I had a lot of fun with the Laguna Bog script. And even though we all cracked up in the middle of the Gazebo skit, I think we covered nicely. J.J. has an impeccable announcer voice, and really nailed it on the “Sluts in College” skit. I cant wait to write the next one. From a writing standpoint, I think that we really need to be descriptive in what we are saying. Mention peoples names more, set the scene more, ECT. We also need to post more on the blog and be more organized. This can be fixed easily. Also, so I don’t forget, Eric’s beats were off the chiiizane.

For next week: I’m writing another “Sally the Slut” skit…its almost done and should be posted by Friday. I was also thinking about something to do with all the kids getting sick…maybe the bubonic plague breaking out in McKean hall? Carolina said something about zombies. I’m also down for writing a mafia or horror skit that is more serious and less funny. If you want to help me out w/ that just e-mail me.


Take is easy guys,
Walker


That was fun

there was obviously a nervousness over everyone before the show started last night. I think if we come prepared for the next show then it will be less chaotic. The scripts were great, but we need to get together and practice before hand. It was definantly a relief to get the first show done so we have a feeling of what to expect. I had a great time and look forward to the next show!
Johnny

The next step

So, you did your first show. And you did a better job than you expected (and I expected).

Now, it is time for you to weigh in with your opinion of how it went.

Somethings to respond to:

1. How were you feeling before the show started?
2. How were you feeling after it was over?
3. What were the strongest parts of the show?
4. What were the weakest parts of the show?
5. What worked the best?
6. What didn't work and how do we fix it?
7. How did the scripts go? What did you learn about writing and performing scripts?
8. Plus, what will you do next week?

So these are things to respond to and contemplate in the blog. Remember: at the end of the semester you have to write a paper on your experience with the radio show. Your blog postings and responses to other people's comments will be the written record of your experience.

Finally, make sure you place your scripts from last night in the Darkness Visible folder on the R: drive, so that I can begin to transfer them over to the web page. If you can, when you put the word document in the folder, save it as an .html file.

A great start last night. I had a great time working with you and you all have great promise of producing some fantastic episodes in the future. Now, we need to see if you can surpass what you did last night.

Don't forget about scripts for Friday. Please post them here as well and brainstorm ideas on the blog for the show.

See you on Friday.

WCB

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Revised of bad news bows

The Story of Bad News Bows!

Grahm: Hi Im Grahm and this a true story of my roommate Bows who likes to stay active when he thinks he’s sleeping. Just like the time my RAs woke me up in the middle of the night.

RA 1: Grahm, Grahm, Grahm wake up!

GRahm: its four thirty in the morning get outta here im trying to sleep!

RA2: Grahm do you no were your roommate is?

Grahm: He’s in his Bed… uhhh ohhh has bad news bows struck again? Well do you know were he is?

RA1: We cant tell you…you are just going to have to see for yourself.

RA2: Follow us

Grahm: (sigh) Alright

RA2: Look at him.

RA1: That’s him rapped up in a blanket with a backpack asleep on my couch.

Grahm: How in the world did he sleep walk down two flights of stairs

RA1: Good question! Some how he also perfectly timed getting into my room when I left my door unlocked while I was taking a shower.

Grahm: Alright time to get the bad news out of your place….. Bows get up time to go back to the room

Bows: ughhhh (sound when someone is trying to wake you up)

Grahm: Well goodnight…and Sorry about this little inconvenience I hope it never happens again.

RA1: It better not!

RA2: you sure got your hands full with bad news bows… good luck!


Grahm: The stories don’t stop flowing just like the time I awoke at four thirty in the morning to find Bows with one hand on my leg and the other holding male genatalia while he unrinates on my dresser, and the accoutrements that lay on top. Or how about the time were he decided to walk down the stairs but completely missed the step and face planted into the ground. So join us next week to see what bad News Bows has gotten himself into next.

physic reading script

Im posting this script for Sarah

Psychic readings

Derek; Are you filling lost, in a haze, confused call the Beautiful, brilliant, spectacular, wonderful Bridget, she would love to help you.

Derek; We have a caller on the line.

Bridget; Yes caller what do your need.

Faith; Is this the Beautiful, brilliant, wonderful Bridget.

Bridget; Don’t forget spectacular.

Faith; Spectacular Bridget.

Bridget; No, no, full name sweetie.

Faith; I’m sorry.

Bridget; No problem just say it right.

Faith; Again?

Bridget; Saying again would be implying that you’ve done it right before.

Faith; I’m sorry (clears throat). Is this the Beautiful, Brilliant, wonderful, spectacular
Bridget?

Bridget; Yes it is and how may I help you today.

Faith; My name is Faith.

Bridget; I don’t care.

Faith; And, (pause) you don’t care. How am I suppose to confide in somebody who doesn’t care what my name is?

Bridget; I am a psychic, not your psychologist.

Faith; Well isn’t that the same thing.

Bridget; No the psychologist is who you wine and complain to. The Psychic, that’s me, is who tells you what you’re going to wine and complain about.

Faith; Well that doesn’t make much sense.

Bridget; Would you like me to explain it slower?

Faith; No I understand what you’re saying but ,I don’t quite get the concept. Why would I want to know about what’s going to make me sad when it’s going to make me sad. If I heard it once from you then wouldn’t I have to relive it later? Wouldn’t that make it double the pain? Wouldn’t you just be the bad news bear?

Bridget: No faith that was just an example.

Faith; So it could be happy times to.

Bridget; Yes it could be.

Faith; So let’s talk about relationships.

Bridget; That’s a bad idea.

Faith; Why, do I have a bad relationship in store. I thought that you said you don’t just give bad news.

Bridget; I don’t.

Faith; But you said that it would make me sad.

Bridget; No I didn’t.

Faith; You didn’t

Bridget; No, I said it would be a bad idea. I don’t know what your relationship you have in store.

Faith; Well, why not you’re a psychic.

Bridget; Yes.

Faith; That’s your job to tell peoples’ future.

Bridget; In a way yes.

Faith; Then why won’t you tell me my future relations.

Bridget; Because they all end up the same. You meet the guy who you think is Mr. Right but ends up being Mr. Right Now. No matter, you fall in love, head over feet, feet over head. Then one by one you find out he has all these flaws. He sleeps with a night light, that’s okay you can handle that, you love the guy. He adores his mother, that’s fine every guy should. He wears his mother’s clothing, now that’s were you draw the line. For some reason you can’t stop loving him. Then when you find out he enjoys sleeping with his mom the love just poof, goes right out of you.

Faith; I don’t think I could fall in love with a guy who likes to sleep with a night light

Bridget; None of us do.

Faith; So steer clear of relationships?

Bridget; Yes.

Faith; What about lunch tomorrow.

Bridget; Lunch. You want me to look in my crystal ball to see what you’re having for lunch

Faith; Yeah

Bridget; Okay. You will be having raw fish

Faith; Ewe

Bridget; Sushi faith.

Faith; I hate Sushi.

Bridget; Well you seem to be smiling. Oh, it may not be the fish, maybe it’s because of
the guy touching your hand. Oh his name starts with a C and ends with an N.

Faith; Starts with a C and ends with an N. What’s his name?

Bridget; I don’t know that’s all they told me.

Faith; Let’s see starts with a C and ends with an N. Casin, No that’s not a real name. Corn. Is it Corn. Not the canned kind but the band.

Bridget; I highly doubt that your dating the entire band corn.

Faith; You’re right the band name starts with a K.

Bridget; Next caller.

Faith; Calvin, is it Calvin.

Bridget; Next caller please.

Bert; Is this the Beautiful, Brilliant, wonderful, spectacular Bridget.

Bridget; This is she.

Bert; This is me.

Bridget; Okay how may I help you.

Bert; No me.

Bridget; Right.

Bert; My name’s Bert.

Bridget; I honestly don’t care Bert.

Bert; I’ve got a question.

Bridget; I’d assume so, your not calling just because you like talking with the beautiful, brilliant, spectacular, wonderful Bridget.

Bert; No but I do like your voice

Bridget; What’s your question Bert

Bert; That was it.

Bridget; So your question was that you like my voice.

Bert; Not entirely, it’s more of a proposal.

Bridget; Proposal?

Bert; Yeah, if this psychic thing doesn’t work out I’ve got a gig for you except guys would be your only callers, and they would call you for other purposes. And it could still be done on the radio.

Bridget; Goodnight Bert. Next Caller your on the air

Steven; Would my girlfriend dump me if she found out I needed a night light to sleep.

Bridget; Next caller.

Bert; Hey, this is Bert, I think you misunderstood me I was talking about a position as a call girl.

Bridget; Next caller.

Susan; Hey Brilliant, beautiful, spectacular wonderful Bridgett how much sugar is to
much sugar when baking cookies.

Bridget; Next caller.

Bert; Hey it’s Bert again, do you think faith would want to give it a shot.

Bridget; Next caller.

Stacey; I’m sick of listening to the radio is there anything good on the tv right now?

Bridget; Next caller.

Bert; H ey it’s Bert

Bridget; Next caller

David; If x=17, and x+y=20, What does y=.

Bridgett: Okay I think we’ve all forgotten what the purpose of a Psychic talk show is. The emphasis is not on the word talk but Psychic. I am a Psychic. I do not care to know what your name is because it cost three dollars a minute. So, for every second you waste it cost you. Plus I believe in staying anonymous. Most importantly, I DON’T CARE. PSYCHIC, PSYCHIC, nothing else. I’m not your friend your therapist, your T.V. guide, call girl, your pimp, your mother, your Martha Stuart, your relationship guide, I am not hear to give you good or bad new, and I’m damn sure not your math tutor. What the hell was that, and by the way the answer is three numb nuts. I am a Psychic. P-S-Y aren’t you smart enough to figure out the rest. I help with real psychic emergencies!!! Next, caller!!!!!

Tammy: (sounds really sad almost about to cry) My dad is really sick, and the medical bill is running up really high. I’ll lose the house if I can’t make up mind tonight to pull the plug or not. I’ve exhausted all of my sources the doctors are split down the middle. Please I need to know Beautiful (pause), Brilliant (pause), spectacular (pause), wonderful (pause) Bridget, Is he (starts to cry) going to live.

Bridget; Finally a real question, to bad were out of time. Join me next time for Bridget’s amazing psychic show. Good night America.

Derek; we’re off the air in three, two, one.










[Derek; Great show Bridget you want to grab a cup of coffee.

Bridget; Derek we’ve been through this before.

Derek; How many times am I going to have to explain? I was wet it was cold and the
only dry clothes were hers. It was Debbie for goodness sake.

Bridget; Derek it was your mom.

Derek; Step mom who went to high school with us, she was a senior when we were juniors.

Bridget; She was still your mom; I’m sorry step-mom.

Derek; my dad was only engaged to her at the time therefore she was just some women I slept with.

Bridget; While you were dating me.

Derek; Yeah.

Bridget; Good night Derek.

Derek; Just one cup.

Bridget; Derek I don’t even like coffee.]

Don't Forget...

...to print out the scripts you're acting in. It gets tricky sharing scripts with people, so everyone should have their own copy. Also, if you're the proud writer of a script.. don't forget to print a copy for Seth and myself, as well, because we'll be needing to follow along in the booths.

THe Gazebo....revied copy.

Here is a revised copy of the Gazebo. I added a little more narrative and changed some little things

Gazebo

Announcer: Now we are going on to our next show. We put a hidden microphone in our Rollins Gazebo, lets she what happens…..

Stoner 1: Duuuuddeee, this shiz is awesome man.

Stoner 2: Dude no way, no way. Did you hear about the ATO party the other night, it was off the chizannnee…

Stoner 1: Dude I heard there were like 40 kegs and like maddd herb being passed around…

Stoner 2: imagine all the people man, crazzzyyyyyyyy..

Stoner 1: Dude, man did you just hear that?

Stoner 2: No man your just baked dude…

Stoner 1: Nahh man I’m hungry anyways... let’s peace

Announcer: That was nothing out of the ordinary. Here come two other students. Wait. Those are middle aged men. What are they doing here?

(they exit with two steps of footsteps in the backround)

Walley: Heyy- yoo—vinny. Ive got a job for you, A job I got. See, see there is this kid, and he knows this information, some information I just don’t want him to know… So you’re takin this hit for me….

Vinny P: Well, Walley I was thinking of retiring, but I know I owe it to you.. and im a man of my word….

Walley: I’ll meet you back here later, ill bring the goods for you service.

Vinny P: Alright Alight.

Announcer: That was odd. Now on tow our next victims…

(two sets of footsteps exiting again)

Peggy Sue: BILLY! OMG, thank you for dinner, I didn’t know beans was so elegant.

Billy: I really like you Peggy Sue (kissing sound)

Peggy Sue: Billy I don’t know if this is such a good idea.

Billy: Aww shucks, Peggie Sue. I like you a lot. And its just a little fun.

Peggie Sue: Billy, I feel weird.

Billy: Just let it happen.

Peggie Sue: I can’t do this (runs off).

Billy: damn!

Announcer: If you have been sexually assaulted, please call out HotLine. Thank you. Looks like we have two coming back for another round at the gazebo…let’s listen.

(Footsteps)

Stoner 1: Dude! Why do we keep coming back to the Gazebo? Do you ever feel like someone’s watching us?

Stoner 2: (giggle) your freaking me out, man.

Stoner1: Dude, did you hear about Peggie Sue…what a slut man.

Stoner 2: I heard she, like, took Billy’s pants off and forced him to sleep with her.

Stoner 1: That’s messed up, man.

(Footsteps)

Billy: Derek, bro, I got down and dirty with Peggie Sue. Oh, yeah, and she wanted it.

Derek: No way man!... I heard she gets around.

Billy: She’s been all over me this past week, so I just went for it and… (haha) lets just say she didn’t complain.

Derek: who the hell are those kids over there?

Billy: I don’t know dude, but they have some nice hash. I got to get out of here, dude.

(footsteps) (footsteps)

Wally: Hey, yo… Vinny! Did you exceed my expectations or am I ganna be disappointed again?

(footsteps)

Vinny: That depends…did you bring the cash. And who are these two fools?

Wally: Don’t worry bout it. Just some stoners. Here’s your money.

Vinny: Then the job is done.

Wally: it’s a pleasure working with ya. I hope to do business again. Send my love to mother and uncle Sal.

Vinny: Hold up! There isn’t the full grand in here!

Wally: what! You think I would hold out on my old pal?

Vinny: I think you would you sleaze.

Wally: I think you are questioning me. I don’t like so much when people question me.

Vinny: Yeah that’s right… I’m questionin ya and your mother.

Wally: well in that case…SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! (gun shots)… No one questions Wally P. (typical Italian last name)

(footsteps)

Stoner1: Dude, what the…

Stoner 2: No way man! That guy just…and then that guy…and then he… I’m wiggin out!

Stoner1: Hey, man, do we tell someone? Like the Fuz?

Stoner2: No, man, let’s just get out of here.(footsteps)

Announcer: Um…yeah…um I don’t know what to say or do….so we’re just going to cut to some music and try to call security. It’s been real...or just really weird…I quit this show.

(music)

Let's Get With It! : )

A reminder...

Y'alls show is 2 hours long!! The past two years we'd be flippin' out at this point if we only had 25 minutes of material.. and our show was 1 hour long. Thaaat's a bit of a problem! This show belongs to every last one of you, and quite frankly, it's a pretty big thing to have your own radio show. Think about all the things you could do with DVR this semester... discuss your views on current events, speak out against social injustice, write parodies of Rollins College culture, get the word out regarding something you feel strongly about, just have an all around good time with comedies, be a storyteller, get your music out there, etc etc.

The possibilities are endless, I'd say. We went around in class the other day, and you all listed some pretty important gifts and hobbies you excelled at: song writing, singing, playing guitar, writing, acting... So don't sell yourself short! : ) I know this show can be amazing if y'all just put your mind and heart into it. So let's get with and and get those scripts written and posted! Remember.. you do have a grade that depends on this show...ha.

Peer Mentor Love,
Lily

Tropical STorm Erensto Take Two

HEre is a second piece on Ernesto to be aired in the second hour.

Again cast list is included.

Tropical Storm Ernesto Take Two

DJ: Josi
Misty: Lily
Pool Manger: Walker



DJ: Hi, time once again to check on the path of Tropical Storm Ernesto as it barrels its way down upon the small, liberal arts college campus of Rollins College. We currently have sent our intrepid education reporter Misty Canyon to the Olin Library in order to find out from students just how they are doing psychologically with the impending doom of Ernesto just a few hours away. Misty, can you you hear me?

Misty: Yes, yes, I can hear you and I am coming to you live from a library which finds itself sitting at ground zero for this hellacious storm that will leap upon this tiny uprepared college faster than a falcon eyeing a little baby rabbit that was left behind by its selfish mother who is only interested in getting more grass for herself and less for her children. It’s that kind of peril that we are looking at here as I glance over at these huddling masses of fearful students.

DJ: Quite descriptive Misty.

Misty: Thanks. I was a poetry major at the Petey White Technical College in Humdrop, Iowa before I had to drop out on account of my sick mother, my sister breaking her only leg, and the plague of locusts that descended down upon the family farm faster than a lioness killing a lone, lost, ADD antelope on the vast African savannah.

DJ: That may have been a bit too much information for us there Misty.

Misty: I just call it as I see it.

DJ: That’s why we all love you here at Darkness Visible Radio.

Misty: (A bit excited) Love? You love me.

DJ: Well, we all do Misty. You have done such great things for us here at WPRK.

Misty: But you, do, do, you love me?

DJ: Misty, I am not really sure where you are going with this. You have a story to report about the terror stricken students at Rollins College who are fearing for their young lives.

Misty: Exactly right. And yes, I have been speaking to these students and they are precisely that: students. And they are afraid. Petrified. Some of them are standing completely still in the library, unable to move as they watch the continuing pictures of the projected path of the storm, unable to believe that in a few scant hours winds topping 35 miles an hour could be making their way through campus and rain totals of 2 inches making their way into the college swimming pool. I talked to the manager of the school pool who told me that he was worried about those extra inches of water added to an already full pool.

Pool Manager: (slow and deliberate) See, I already got a full pool of water here. The kids demand it. Wouldn’t make sense if the pool was half empty or quarter empty. They want the pool to be full. And I want to make them happy. But see if it rains, like it is supposed to, then the pool will be overfull and that can’t be good, can’t be good at all. Especially for our students. You can’t swim in an overfull pool.

Misty: (Breathless) What will you do if this happens? Say we get three inches of rain? Won’t that be horrible?

Pool Manager: Well, it sure can be, but I will just have to go out there, put on my gloves and turn on the drain for a few minutes to get it down from overfull to full.

Misty: Thanks for being so candid with us. I know this possibility terrifies you. So as you can hear, the impending storm’s effect goes far beyond just the mere psychological level of the students. It also will have an impact on the delicate infrastructure of Rollins College.

DJ: Thanks Misty for capturing the true essence of what is happening tonight on the Rollins College campus.

Misty: No problem, no problem at all. After all, it is my job. But, can we go back to that love thing? Who loves me?

DJ: Come back in to the station Misty and we can talk about it over a latte and a biscotti. And now back to the music.

Tropical Storm Ernesto Sketch

Please note that I have already cast the piece. Make sure you print out a copy from the R: drive file.


Tropical Storm Ernesto Update 1
Cast
DJ Josi
I.C. John L.
JJ JJ




DJ: And now as Tropical Storm Ernesto continues its collision course with Central Florida, we take you live with our Darkness Visible Radio Weather Reporter I.C. Rain, who is standing by live. I.C., can you hear me?


I.C. Yes, yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me?

DJ: Perfectly fine.

I.C. Good, good, because the wind here is really whipping around me like mad.

DJ: It is?

I.C. Oh yeah, Can’t you hear it whistling through the microphone?

DJ: Um, well, no, not really.

I.C. Wait, wait a minute, let me just remove this special weather shield that I built specially for these remote broadcasts. (Under breath) Just need to kind of move this thing here and then release this catch here and wait, oh, what’s this? (surprise) Where did this come from?

DJ: In case you are just joining us our own special weather correspondent I.C. Rain is out on Mills Lawn giving us the latest up to date scoop on how Tropical Storm Ernesto is battering the Rollins College campus, which is also known as the #1 school in the south. I.C. have you fixed your microphone yet?

I.C. Oh, yeah, yeah got it now. You should be able to hear the wind.
(Sound of wind, but not that great, just a bit)

DJ: It doesn’t sound that horrible.

I.C. I didn’t say it was horrible. I mean jeez what do you expect. The storm isn’t even anywhere close to us yet. You sent me out here in an ugly grey rain slicker to stand here while all these attractive co-eds are walking around and they are pointing and laughing and pointing some more. I haven’t felt this insecure since junior high when the varsity basketball team caught me changing at my gym locker and took me outside and tied me to the hood of the principal’s car. Oh, all the pointing and laughing there was just as bad.

DJ: I think we are getting a bit off track I.C.

I.C. That’s easy for you to say. Here I am standing outside while everyone else at Darkness Visible is huddled comfortably inside drinking cocoa and sitting around the fireplace, sharing stories of summer camp and glistening sunsets. Me, me, you send outside. Out into the heart of a (hah!) raging tropical storm.
(Sound of barely perceptible wind again.)

DJ: Um, ok. Uh, can somebody go outside and bring in I.C?

I.C. (hysterical) It’s just like when I went to the senior mixer in high school. Everyone from the school was there, laughing, having fun, telling stories about the visits to different college campuses that they had made, and when it came my turn to tell a story, I tried to tell about my visit to Saskatchawan University and my run in with a moose, a caribou and a grizzly bear, but no one would let me finish the story, see, I was there up in Canada and I was walking around on campus (Sound of the wind again). You can stop making the wind noises now JJ. It’s OK.

JJ: Oh, ok. No problem, I.C. Just let me know when you want me to do it again. It was alright then?

IC: You were great. Just great.

JJ: Thanks, I’ve never done wind before. I once did a car sound. You want to hear it?

IC: Not really, I am trying to tell—

JJ: It goes like this (sound of a car starting up and then pulling out of the driveway real fast.) I’m pretty proud of it.

IC: That’s great JJ, now look I want to finish my story about the moose, caribou and grizzly bear.

JJ: I have been working on a hot air balloon too. (Makes a noise) That’s the fire heating up the air that goes into the balloon.
(Makes another noise.) That’s the ballast being released and falling to the ground and then hitting someone in the head.

DJ: Um, we seem to have lost focus here on our weather report about Tropical Storm Ernesto. Once we get I.C. Rain back under control and his producer JJ back in from the torrential rain storm outside.

I.C. It’s not even raining yet. Stop lying to the people.

DJ: Anyway, we will have more information about Tropical Storm Ernesto in the next hour of our show. Now back to the music.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Tuesday night Part II

Here is the way I see tomorrow night happening:

DJing will be Seth (so Seth you need to make sure you have time to pull some songs to be played, and if others have some suggestions talk to him).

In the production booth will be Lily (so you need to make sure that you bring a copy of your script for Lily and Seth so they know when the sketch is over so they can go to music)

The rest of us will be in the acting arena. If you are not in a sketch and you want to hang with Seth and Lily, you are welcome to do so. However, you also need to make sure you are aware of how things are going and when you will be on the radio.

If you are in a script, you need to make sure you print out a copy of the script you are in from the Darkness Visible folder on the R: drive.

The more prepared we are for tomorrow night, the better the whole thing will run.

And remember, your parents will be listening.

What needs to happen for Tuesday night

Hello everybody.

Good scripts today. As you revise them, think about creating a clean and clear narrative line so those folks out there in the radio ether can follow what is happening with the script and the characters. Narrators/Announcers are great ways to control the flow of knowledge.

Here is what needs to happen:

1. The scripts currently on the blog need to be revised, cleaned up, put in a format that makes them easy to read and then posted in the Darkness Visible Folder folder on the R: drive.

2. We still need more material. My guess is that you all are at 25 minutes (at the outside) but probably more like 17-20 minutes because when you get on the air you are going to rush through the scripts because the adrenaline will be flowing and you will be nervous. You will need to slow down and enunciate your words.

3. The new material needs to be posted on the blog and it needs to be commented upon (either in person in the res hall or on the blog to give ideas).

4. The new material will then also need to be put in the Darkness Visible Radio folder.

5. All of you have at least one role already, so you know what you are in. You need to read and reread your scripts over so you feel comfortable with what you are doing.

6. If possible, finish casting all the scripts before coming into the radio station tomorrow. That will make things a lot easier.

7. Be on time in the radio station tomorrow at 8. We will only have an hour to get everything organized and set. It will be chaotic. Try to pay attention. Keep your focus. Write down what you are doing.

8. But most importantly, I want you to have fun tomorrow.

I am looking forward to it.

Gazebo

Gazebo

Announcer: Now we are going on to our next show. We put a hidden microphone in our Rollins Gazebo, lets she what happens…..

Stoner 1: Duuuuddeee, this shiz is awesome man.

Stoner 2: Dude no way, no way. Did you hear about the ATO party the other night, it was off the chizannnee…

Stoner 1: Dude I heard there were like 40 kegs and like maddd herb being passed around…

Stoner 2: imagine all the people man, crazzzyyyyyyyy..

Stoner 1: Dude, man did you just hear that?

Stoner 2: No man your just baked dude…

Stoner 1: Nahh man I’m hungry anyways... let’s peace

Stoner 2: Aight, we’re off like a prom dress….

Stoner 1: Niceeeee

(they exit with two steps of footsteps in the backround)

Walley: Heyy- yoo—vinny. Ive got a job for you, A job I got. See, see there is this kid, and he knows this information, some information I just don’t want him to know… So you’re takin this hit for me….

Vinny P: Well, Walley I was thinking of retiring, but I know I owe it to you.. and im a man of my word….

Walley: I’ll meet you back here later, ill bring the goods for you service.

Vinny P: Alright Alight.

(two sets of footsteps exiting again)

Peggy Sue: BILLY! OMG, thank you for dinner, I didn’t know beans was so elegant.

Billy: Well since I took you to dinner I think its time for you to repay me..

(kissing sound)

Peggy Sue: Billy I don’t know if this is such a good idea.

Billy: Aww shucks, Peggie Sue. I like you a lot. And its just a little fun.

Peggie Sue: Billy, I feel weird.

Billy: Just let it happen.

Peggie Sue: I can’t do this (runs off).

Billy: damn!
(Footsteps)

Stoner 1: Dude! Why do we keep coming back to the Gazebo? Do you ever feel like someone’s watching us?

Stoner 2: (giggle) your freaking me out, man.

Stoner1: Dude, did you hear about Peggie Sue…what a slut man.

Stoner 2: I heard she, like, took Billy’s pants off and forced him to sleep with her.

Stoner 1: That’s messed up, man.

(Footsteps)

Billy: Derek, bro, I got down and dirty with Peggie Sue. Oh, yeah, and she wanted it.

Derek: No way man!... I heard she gets around.

Billy: She’s been all over me this past week, so I just went for it and… (haha) lets just say she didn’t complain.

Derek: Dude, you might want to get checked for VD.

Billy: It’s cool, bro. I’m no fool…I wrap my tool.

Derek: who the hell are those kids over there?

Billy: I don’t know dude, but they have some nice hash. I got to get out of here, dude.

(footsteps) (footsteps)

Wally: Hey, yo… Vinny! Did you exceed my expectations or am I ganna be disappointed again?

(footsteps)
Vinny: That depends…did you bring the cash. And who are these two fools?

Wally: Don’t worry bout it. Just some stoners. Here’s your money.

Vinny: Then the job is done.

Wally: it’s a pleasure working with ya. I hope to do business again. Send my love to mother and uncle Sal.

Vinny: Hold up! There isn’t the full grand in here!

Wally: what! You think I would hold out on my old pal?

Vinny: I think you would you sleaze.

Wally: I think you are questioning me. I don’t like so much when people question me.

Vinny: Yeah that’s right… I’m questionin ya and your mother.

Wally: well in that case…SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! (gun shots)… No one questions Wally P. (typical Italian last name)

(footsteps)

Stoner1: Dude, what the…

Stoner 2: No way man! That guy just…and then that guy…and then he… I’m wiggin out!

Stoner1: Hey, man, do we tell someone? Like the Fuz?

Stoner2: No, man, let’s just get out of here.

(footsteps)


Announcer: Um…yeah…um I don’t know what to say or do….so we’re just going to cut to some music and try to call security. It’s been real...or just really weird…I quit this show.

(music)

True story skit

These are all true stories, and are hilarious. just typed it up but think it has potential because i can garuntee that Bows will produce more stories for shows to come. enjoy Johnny

The Story of Bad News Bows!

RA 1: Grahm, Grahm, Grahm wake up!

GRahm: its four thirty in the morning get outta here im trying to sleep!

RA2: Grahm do you no were your roommate is?

Grahm: He’s in his Bed… uhhh ohhh has bad news bows struck again? Well do you know were he is?

RA1: We cant tell you…you are just going to have to see for yourself.

RA2: Follow us

Grahm: (sigh) Alright

RA2: Look at him.

RA1: That’s him rapped up in a blanket with a backpack asleep on my couch.

Grahm: How in the world did he sleep walk down two flights of stairs

RA1: Good question! Some how he also perfectly timed getting into my room when I left my door unlocked while I was taking a shower.

Grahm: Alright time to get the bad news out of your place….. Bows get up time to go back to the room

Bows: ughhhh (sound when someone is trying to wake you up)

Grahm: Well goodnight…and Sorry about this little inconvenience I hope it never happens again.

RA1: It better not!

RA2: you sure got your hands full with bad news bows… good luck!


Grahm: Hi Im Grahm and this a true story of my roommate Bows who likes to stay active when he thinks he’s sleeping. The stories don’t stop flowing just like the time I awoke at four thirty in the morning to find Bows with one hand on my leg and the other holding male genatalia while he unrinates on my dresser, and the accoutrements that lay on top. Or how about the time were he decided to walk down the stairs but completely missed the step and face planted into the ground. So join us next week to see what bad News Bows has gotten himself into.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

What do you like better?

(Ok....so i have a couple ideas for the direction of this thing...either the bed wetters or the chess club.... I have a draft for each which ill post once im done typing them both up, I think this set up may be way to long. I dont know. Thanks Carolina and Amanda and Johny for the help. Good luck guys.)


Announcer (in a deep tone...JJ):

“Once upon a time, in a college not far from here, two girls embarked on a quest for glory, greatness, and ultimate skankiness. Some called them hero’s, some called them whores, but all agreed that their quest was um….interesting to say the least. This is their story.”

Sally the Slut:

Leslie, I am so bored. Like there is nothing to do at this stupid college anymore.

Leslie:

Common, there is always a party at the TKE house, lets just go over there.

Sally the Slut:

Leslie, I’ve already dated with Robby, Jason, and Chris. Plus all the other guys there are just plain creepy.

Leslie:

What about that soccer party, those are fun.

Sally the Slut:

Eh, those haven’t been the same since me …..(plug in smoething)

Leslie:

There’s an ATO thing?

Sally the Slut:

BORING!

Leslie:

We could hang out with the surf club?

Sally the Slut:

Nah, already road their wave.

Leslie:

What about the Frisbee club?

Sally the Slut:

Leslie, already flicked their disk.

Leslie:

What about the Gay and Lesbian alience?......... ok nevermind. That was a dumb idea. But seriously, not to offend you, but Sally, I think you have been to every party imaginable at this college. I mean you have hung out with every club, every group, I mean every thing but the like the chess club.

Sally the slut:

Leslie…Your right!

Leslie:

Right about what?

Sally the Slut:

There are so many diverse boys out there. My tastes of grown more cultured than the typical jock, frat boy, and other untrue stereotypes. I need to expand my horizons, expect the unexpected, experience everything!

Leslie:

What the hell are you talking about you weirdo.

Sally the Slut:

“I Sally McSluterson, vow that by the end of my 6 year college career, I will have dated a boy from every club, every ethnicity, and every organization on campus.”

Leslie:
EVERY ORGANIZATION?!

Sally the Slut:

Yes, Every organization.

Leslie:

Even the Dungeons and Dragons Club?

Sally the Slut:

Yes, even the D&D Club.

Leslie:

Sally, some of those international clubs have kids that don’t even speak English.

Sally the Slut:

It doesn’t matter. Nothing can stop me, not a language barrier, not anything. I am on a mission from God.

Leslie:
You’re a crazy person.

Sally the Slut:

No, I’m inspired.

Announcer:

“And so, the quest began. Leslie and Sally journeyed far and wide in their quest to broaden their horizon. They ventured to rugby fields, and polo grounds, multi-cultural fairs, and ho-downs. They even stopped by my radio station for a quick…um…talk (Sally: Damn right we did.) Indeed. Everything seemed to be going smoothly for Sally, that is until she tried her hand in the club that is shunned by all clubs, even the computer geeks. A club so dorky that even the Role Players wont fraternized with them. It is here where we find Sally’s quest again.”

Ryan:

Welcome to the Bed Wetters Association, home to the overexcited, the urinarilly challenged, and those who just like soiling their sheets.


payback

S=SANDY G=GEORGE
THE INES WILL BE PERFORMED QUICKLY SO KEEP THAT IN MIND WHILE READING IT. TH


G:Did your best friend take your boyfriend

S:Did your sister kick you out of your bed pee in it. Then put you back in the bed wake up your parents and let them find you slushing around in it from the ages 3-5.

G: Does your roommate steel your clothes stain them and put them back in your closet.

S: Are you to much of a punk

G: or Pussy

S; To do anything about it

G; Hear at payback central we sympothise with the mistreated

S; And feel that it is our obligation to set things right for the nation

G; For karma

S; For the little guy

G; For a small fee of 24.95 You can right the wrong

S; You can have live crabs set free in their pants

G; You can have them chased out of their jobs known as polly pissy pants every day.

S; You can have them set on fire

G; You can give them diabetes

S; You can have wild dogs

G; Chicken

S; Sheep

G; Or snakes let lose in there room while they’re sleeping

S; You can all but kill them


G; And the payback center does not discriminate, Oh no.

S; Has grandma been putting to much sugar in your oatmeal

G; Did papa instead of giving you the (CAR) as a birthday gift give you a momentum that meant didly to you but the world to him so he started to cry and in front of all of your friends at the most wicked party and you just happened to invite the entire school including lazy eye sally and my hands always in my back pocket willis and your completely embarrased because fathers aren’t suppose to cry and if the dad cries then you must cry all the time. And the no girls will date you unless there a two and that’s on good day. Then you finally convince a seven after months of begging and groveling to go out with you and you can’t drive her around in that amazing car that all your other friends have but no you can show her that oh so special antique dish your dad found when he was diving some u-boat or something. Then you think to yourself if it meant so much to him why the hell didn’t he keep it AND GIVE YOU THE CAR.

(silence)

S;Charlie, did they ever find your dad

(pause)

G; No

S; uh, we’re, uh,we’re going to have to talk

G; Coincidence I swear hah, hah, hah. Did your ex-girlfriend dump you the day before prom

S; Did your sister throw up on your prom dress.

G; Did your three year old cousin give you the finger, twice.

S; Did your teacher give you a B- when you deserved a B+

G; A+

S; Well then

G; Email us

S; Call up

G; Call in

S; Drop by

G; Drop in

S; We’re just a hop and a skip away

G; At the tip of the fingers

S; The tip of the tongue

G; Don’t delay

S; Make them pay

G; We know that if we mix a little bit of our imagination

S; Your imagination

G; Let it brew

S; And sprinkle it with anger

G; We can make some magic

S; Don’t worry this is strictly confidential

G; So If your feeling bad

S; don’t.

G; Because, remember

TOGETHER; They screwed you over first.

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