Darkness Visible Radio

This is good we would love for some more ideas. Johnny, Amanda, Carolina

Girl 1: Amber
Girl 2: Becca
Girl 3: Kylie
Gay Guy: Steven


Amber: Welcome to “Laundry Talk!” The shows that informs whats hot and whats not. (giggle) brought to you from the McKean laundry room.

Becca: of coarse, we are the hot.

kylie: like, like yeah. Hahaha…I don’t get it.

Steven: OMG! Did you see Prof. Boles today? What a stud muffin. With his parted hair and cute collard shirts. What a great sense of style!

Amber: Oh I know! I think he winked at me today. Is that wrong?

Kylie: I like cheese, but it’s a lot of calories.

Gat Guy: Um Kylie you still eat food?

Kylie: I like puppies.

Becca: Um, yeah, whatever. Moving on…

Steven: WAIT! Girls just stop! OMG. We forgot to pray to our idol today. The great LINDSEY LOHAN!

Amber: OMG! Your so right Steven. Ok, everyone join hands. (praying): Oh, Lindsey, our great leader, who has gone from red, to blonde, to black… never showing roots, of coarse. We ask for your guidance in our daily gossip and the strength to say no to breads. We ask that you help those misfortunate who lack the style, grace, and boobs that we all aquired thoughout the years. And we forgive you for “Herbie” like you have forgiven us countless times. AMEN.

All: AMEN

Steven: but I liked “Herbie.”

Becca: Kylie shut up! It was totally VIP, because you were the only one in the theater. Ok, so, we like totally need to discuss about fixing the food here at Rollins. I mean, I have like totally gain .5 pounds.

Steven: it doesnt matter Becca .You’re just ganna make a trip to the bathroom with your toothbrush.

Becca: yeah, well, at least I don’t use laxitives. Hahahaha.

Kylie: this washing machine is making me happy.

Amber: So, girls, like do you think George Bush won because of his good looks or cuz Kerry is too tall?

Becca: well, I still think Hillary should have won. Girl power!

Amber: Oh yeah! No, but seriously, I totally think George has an amazing butt.

Steven: Hello Mr. President (giggle).

Kylie: Once I was walking down the street and I totally found five dollars, so I like totally took it and bought a hot dog.

Steven: I wish I could be the next Monica Lowinski.

Becca: First of all, Kylie, you need to quit with those hot dogs. Your totally going to gain a gazillion pounds. Secondly, I know really should have won for president... Linsday Lohan!!!!

(ALL scream Lindsey Lohan)

Amber: hahaha! OMG. Girls, we should totally take that hot dog and shove it down Hillery Duff’s throat.

(ALL gasp)

Steven: Amber ,do not utter such a name in this laundry room! You will be damned to the chess club!

Amber: Ok, like im sorry! I just hate her so much!

Becca: Oh, I know! With her fake teeth and high cheekbones…EW!

Kylie: I thought high cheekbones were like a blessing

Steven: Lets all take a moment of silence and just forget what sunshine banana hammock just said.

All the girls: What????

Kylie: I got a name change

Amber: Um, so anyways. Kylie how are you and Billy doing?

Kylie: well, I found something weird in his room. I found pictures of him and two other girls. And they weren’t wearing any clothes. Um, but, like, Billy says thats normal, so, whatever.

Becca: Kylie! That’s not normal. He’s cheating on you!

Steven: I want chocolate.

Amber: Kylie, you like totally need to like go get drunk and make out with someone…like steven.

(Billy enters)

Billy: Hey dudes.

Kylie: OMG! Billy! I love you!

Billy: whatever man. Kylie, here is my laundry. I need it done by tonight…im going to the TKE party.

Kylie: sure, billy, whatever you want.

Billy: yeah, whatever, thanks. Hey Amber…call me later.

Steven: (whisper) Billy, call me.

(Billy exits)

Becca: hey girls, um, I like totally went back to hooters to get that job, but I got scared cuz my boobs arnt big enough.

Steven: OMG! That so not true. I mean, you just got them done two weeks ago. They havent even dropped.

Kylie: maybe you should get a boob pump. Hahaha…boobs!

Amber: Now it’s time for are main topic, the denunciation of Pluto.

Becca: Yeah that’s right, we are not just dumb blondes who love boys, boobs, and small waists, we have something in our heads.

Amber: Headlines state, the well known planet Pluto, our beloved ninth planet, is now known as a mear star.

Gay guy: what is this world coming to!

Becca: Pluto will always be a planet to me.

Kylie: Actually, scientists found Pluto in 1930, making it the ninth planet in our solar system. However, at the Astronomical International Union, it failed to meet the definition of a planet. Pluto will now be part of a group known as dwarfed planets.

Steven: Kylie that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

Amber: We’re going on a hunger until Pluto is a planet again. And by hunger strike I mean we are going to binge. That’s right girls, lettuce, nuts and berries… and occationally water.

Kylie: I can fit my fist in my mouth.

Becca: Well, that’s all the time we have.

Luke.: Girls what are you doing?!

Amber: OMG! Everyone its R.A. Luke!

Luke: You’ve been down here for five hours. People have to do their laundry. This is ridiculous. Get out of here!

Steven: Wait! We have to sign off! I’m Steven!

Amber: I’m Amber

Becca: I’m Becca

Kylie: And I like puppies…oh I mean I’m sunshine banana hammock.

All: Bye.

The premise: Jack Bauer, of 24, as a substitute teacher.

Jack Bauer

Principal

Student 1

Student 2

Announcer: 24

(Sounds of students talking and noise in general)

Principal: (Over the noise of the class) OK class. Quiet. Settle down. I said settle down. (the class goes quiet). Now, I want to introduce you to your new teacher, Mr Bauer. He will be filling in for Mrs. Miller while she is away on maternity leave.

Student 1: Some kind of smart ass remark

Principal: OK Mr. Bauer I leave them in your capable hands.

Bauer: Thank you Principal Jenkins.

Student 1: Some kind of smart ass remark again.

Bauer: Alright, let’s get a couple of things perfectly clear. You do what I say when I say it. You answer my questions when I ask you. Don’t make me have to repeat myself.

Student 2: Chill, man, take it easy.

Bauer: Take it easy. Don’t tell me to take it easy. Don’t give me any type of directions. I will be giving the directions here.

Student 2: Fine, fine, whatever.

Bauer: Alright so this is American Geography and I have Mrs. Miller’s lesson plan from last week. So let’s see how many of you studied for today.

Student 1: Jeez, what good is studying. What a pain.

Bauer: Mr. smart mouth let’s see what you are made of and see how well you studied. I trust you studied.

Student 1: Of course I did. Not a problem.

Bauer: Let’s check this out then. Tell me what the capital of Wyoming is.

Student 1: Wyoming. Why would I want to go to Wyoming, it’s just brokeback mountain country out there. I don’t need to do that at all.

Bauer; I will ask you one more time. What is the capital of Wyoming?

Student 1: What does it matter?: I ain’t ever going there.

Bauer: Do you see what I am holding in my hand?

Student 1: Yeah, a pencil so what.

Bauer: I can kill you five different ways with this pencil. Don’t make me do it.

Student 1: Oooh. Tough guy.

Bauer: Now, tell me what the capital of Wyoming is?

Student 1: No.

Bauer: And you are telling me that you studied your work last night?

Student 1: Sure I did. I always study.

Bauer: (sound of dialing a phone) Chloe, I need a little help here.

Student 1: Chloe, what is he doing. Hey no cell phones in the class room.

Bauer: Chloe, I need you to do a satellite backtrack on the following address. To student Where do you live?

Student 1: Why? You gonna come over and make my bed.

Bauer: TELL ME YOUR ADDRESS RIGHT NOW.

Student 1: No, man.

Bauer: What is this guys name?

Student 2: James, James Portnoy.

Bauer: Chloe I need you to search for a James Portnoy and then find his home address. Do a temporal shift modulator for yesterday evening. I also want a heat seeking readout of the address.

Student 1: What are you talking about man?

Bauer: I am seeing whether you really did study last night.

Student 1 I am telling you I did.

Bauer: Well, we’ll see. Chloe, what have you got? Are you sure? Damn it, Chloe. I need you to be positive.

Student 3; He cursed.

Student 1: This is all so bogus.

Bauer: Last night you left your home at 8:30, out a side window I might say, and then got in a car. You didn’t return until 1:30 in the morning.

Student 1: So, I had some business to do.

auer: Well, your business is studying American Geography. If you don’t start studying Mr., then I will be forced to hold your mother, father, and little brother at gun point and kill each one when you answer a question wrong.

Students Uproar.

Principal: Um, Mr. Bauer.

Bauer: Damn it, what is it Principal I am trying to teach these suspects, I mean students, a lesson.

Principal: Our rules prohibit threatening the students.

Bauer: Well, maybe sometimes the rules need to be broken. I didn’t lose my wife and become a heroin junkie so kids like this putz here could run roughshod over the US A. I have spoken to and saved the life of the President of this nation and I intend to see that they appreciate this country in all its glory and majesty. IF you have a problem with that, then you can fire me right here and now, but if you are not, then just let me do my job.

Teacher: Quick Principal there is a problem in the cafeteria. The rolls for the lunch are burning.

Principal: Not the rolls.

Bauer: Look, Principal. I can save your rolls for me if you just let me do my job here.

Principal: Well, I do love rolls, so yes Mr. Bauer rescue our lunch rolls and I will reinstate you.

Announcer:

An idea to consider

In today's NYT in the op-ed section there is a lengthy article by someone arguing that they shouldn't allow elementary school classes to grow and release butterflies.

There might be something there for the News angle next week or for some kind of Alternating Sides of the Aisle type of thing (liberal/conservative takes on releasing farm raised butterfly larvae).

Walker, I think the chess club, Poetry perfromers club, and yoga club is something you should look into

So, all you have brainstormed a bunch of ideas and now it will be time to see what you come up with on Friday. (In the future all the brainstormed material will be posted here on the blog.)

Adrian, if you are on the blog, please post your ads here on the Blog. Just copy and paste.

Also, as you create your drafts, then just copy and paste them into a post here so we can all see it and give you feedback.

WCB