Friday, September 15, 2006

I wish I had a single

(Lilly thinking to herself) Ok, so I am a freshmen in college, right. My friends and I had so many fears before we went away to college, such as gaining a freshmen 15, accidently sleeping with a professor at a party, or becoming a sally the slut…well the roommate was my biggest fear.. When I first got to Rollins I was loving it, but before I knew it, my roommate turned completely psycho. I wish I had a single.
What the heck, why can’t I open this stupid door, ughhhh I just locked it again.

Tina- Hey girlfriend whats going on???.

Lilly- Tina why don’t you ever TELL ME your in here, and you are standing by the door can’t you just open it for me, I have all these books.

Tina- Sorry girl, I screamed as loud as I could.

Lilly- Whatever

Narrator – At this point I just wanted to cry and go to bed I have been up since 2 doing work last night and my roommate woke me up at 6:30 … oh god I can hear her voice now….

Tina – OH MY GOD I SLEPT SO WELL, Oh my god, my roommate is still sleeping!
Wake Up Wake UpOn a saturday nightCould be New YorkMaybe Hollywood and VineLondon, Paris maybe TokyoThere's something going on anywhere I goTonightTonightYeah, tonight

Lilly- ( moaning) I don’t have till class till 10

Tina- Damnn girl it’s already 5, I only have five hours left. I better get moving!!!

Lilly- Tina im tired, I really just want to sleep, do you think that you can be a little quieter???

Tina- oh yeah sure girlfriend don’t worry about it…

Narrator –Ten minuets later
(a hair dryer sound)


Lilly- Tina I thought I told you that I was trying to sleep….

Tina- Well you did hun, but see how am I suppose to get beautiful for all these HUNKS, huh girlfriend….

Lilly- Yeah I guess….

(Later that day)

Jen- Ah!! I love this part when Carrie and Big get together but I don’t know why, hes such a jerk to her!

Lily- And I can’t believe Miranda’s pregnant

Denise; Again?

Jen; No she was never pregnant.

Sarah; Guys quiet I’m trying to watch the show

Lily; I was so surprised.

Jen; Samantha slept with so many men, I surprised she didn’t get pregnant.

Lily; Remember when she became a lesbian

Denise; Oh that was so gross.

Sarah; You guys.

Jen; Super gross.

Denise; I still loved her though in a non lesbian way.

Jen; Yeah me too.

Lilly- I know!! I love Sex in the City!

Sarah- SHHH guys!!!! YOUR RUINING IT!!!

Lilly,Jen- Haha ok SORRY Sarah! Hahaha

( The door Slams Open)


Tina- UMMMM HI GUYS…

Lilly, Jen, Sarah- Hi Tina, how are you?

Tina- Good what have you all been up to all day?

Lilly- We have been watching Sex in the City.

Sarah- AND NOW IT’S THE BEST PART! Shhh!!!

Tina- Umm actually I need you all to leave I have to do my homework…

Lilly- Tina, these are my friends and I live here, you cant just come in and kick people out…

Tina- Yes I need to, this paper that’s due in 5 days is soooo crucial and needs to be done right this second.

Lilly- Fine Tina have it your way.

(Lilly talking to herself)I left a few hours later, It was pouring outside

Jen- Lilly come on lets go we need to go catch the movie, we are going to be so late!!!

Lilly- Ok ok, let me just go get my rain coat.

(Lilly talking to herself) I go to my room to get my rain coat and umbrella, nothing is there, no note and my rain gear is gone.

Lilly: What the heck! Is she serious, she took all of my rain stuff, what the heck am I suppose to wear, does she ever think of anyone else!

Jen- No she doesn’t she is the only child remember, its hard Lilly but I am sure it will get better.

Lilly- GET BETTER!! JEN, She wakes me up in the morning even on weekends at the crack of dawn. When we watch movies all day on the weekends, she barges in OUR room not hers, not mine, but OUR ROOM, and tells MY friends to get out because SHE has to do work, or change. THAT’S NOT FAIR I live here too!
God, we are so different, I don’t know how we got put together, its going to far….. OH AND ON TOP OF THAT SHE TAKES MY RAINCOAT WHEN IT’S POURING OUT!!! HOW MUCH WORSE COULD IT GET!!!! I wish I had a single.

Jen- Come on Lilly, lets just go for a walk and see how you feel ok in a little.

(Lily talking to herself); 4 hours later around 10:00 at night Jen and I casually walked back to Lilly’s room. I felt so much better. Then I hung out there for a while. I started undressing into my p.j’s when the door slammed open..

Lilly:
TINA IM CHANGING!!!!!! AND YOU HAVE TIMMY WITH YOU, SHUT .Honestly Tina, right now im really mad, just leave the door open I don’t have my key with me, ill be back soon.

Tina- OK WHATEVER GIRL YOU DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.

Lilly; I come back 1 hour later, tries to get in the door, its locked. Ugh, I am going to go insane, this is not working out. Today’s going be to a good day. I got no sleep last night but that’s okay. All I need is a mocha latte supreme and I’ll be okay.

Lilly: Where’s my mocha latte supreme. Katie did you drink the mocha latte supreme in the fridge?
L; Yeah
T; But it was mine
L; You didn’t have your name on it. Oh yeah you did, you didn’t have your name on the chocolate cake or the delicious sandwich.
T; You ate my cake and my
I can’t deal with it anymore I just lost it.(takes a breath) First of all there are only two people that have a key to this room. Therefore, there are only two people living in hear. Meaning that only two people would put something in the (as if in sounding it out) refrigerator. Therefore if you didn’t buy it then it is not yours.
L; What about Bill?
T; The R.A.?
L; Yes.
T; What about Bill?
L; He has a key.
T; So.
L; So maybe he could have come and put the alleged chocolate cake and delicious sandwich in the (as if mooching her) re-fri-ger-a-tor.
T; So what your saying is you believe that are R.A., was just walking by and thought, gee maybe I should put some chocolate cake and a sandwich
L; Yeah;
T; Do you actually hear the words that are coming out of your mouth or
L; It’s very logical.
T; Logical? (under her breath) I doubt she even know what that word means.
L; What?
T; Nothing, I mean using this logic. How did you know he didn’t leave there it for me?
L; Ha
T; Ha
L; Did I say Ha? I’m sorry I meant ( starts to laugh) Ha ha ha ha ha hah.
T; What’s that suppose to mean?
L; Well look at you.
T; What?
L; It’s not just how you look it’s your voice.
T; What’s wrong with my voice.
L; Well your so manly.
T; Manly?
L; You walk around stomping and yelling who ate my chocolate cake, Stop letting boys see me naked. I’m going to eat you rah.
As if, you should be more sweet and gentle like me. Like, who ate my chocolate cake, I’m going to eat you rah. You know more like me. And by the way if your name not’s on it it’s community property unless it looks delicious then it’s up for grabs.
T; Are those my pants?
L; I don’t see your name on it.
T; Katie.
L; Yes?
T; ( In a princess voice) Sleep with your eyes open? (slams door)
L; Oh my gosh, she’s so up tight. She’s like the worst room mate ever. I wish I had a single.

Chewbacca Gets Questioned by Airport Security

Chewbacca Gets Questioned by Airport Security

Chewie: Grrrrrrrr

TSA Guy: I’m sorry sir could you please step over here?

Chewie: Grrrrrrrr

TSA Girl: Sir may I see your passport?

Chewie: Grrrrrrrr

TSA Girl: What are you doing in the United States Mr….. Chewbacca?

TSA Girl: GRRRRRRRRRRR

TSA Girl: Uh huh, well that’s great sir, unfortunately you’ve been selected for a random screening in our offices. Come with me please sir.

Chewie: GRRRRRR!!!!!

TSA Guy: Now sir, exactly what is your relationship with members of Al Queda?

Chewie: GRRRRRR!!!!!

TSA Guy: Sir, please… we all know Chewbacca is an arab name, and obviously you have deep ties with terrorism.

Chewie: GRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

TSA Guy: Sir you aren’t going anywhere, the FBI is on their way to further… interrogate you. You may just want to confess now before the real investigation begins.

Chewie: GRRRRR!!!!!!

TSA Girl: He’s getting violent, hit him with the tranq gun!!!!!

[BLAM!]

TSA Guy: Got ‘em!!!! Eat that terrorist!!!!

Chewie: Grr….. Grr….. Gr…

TSA Girl: Nice shot, he’s out cold. How could you tell he was a terrorist?

TSA Guy: Please… only terrorists can grow that kind of facial hair.
TSA Girl: Wow you’re amazing, I hope to be just like you someday.

TSA Guy: It comes with time Cindy, it comes with time.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

game show

i was thinking about doing a a price is right parody or something. bob barker would be the host but hed have a really old man voice and be on like his death bed. the whole class could also be in the back and yell out what they think so it could work well possibly. i havent started the script yet but if someone wants to try and help me with it thatd be great. so i could have 2 scripts in on monday which would put me one ahead of eric.

Plague Script Part 1

Plague Script
By: Walker Hamby

Cast:

Announcer: Rich or JJ
Kimmy: Maddy
Suzie: Carolina


*** BEEP, BEEP, BEEP*** (x2)

Announcer: We interrupt this edition of Darkness Visible Radio to bring you an urgent news announcement from the department of health and safety. For more on this developing story, let’s send you out to Suzie Colberson who is reporting live from the source.

Suzie (very enthusiastically): Thank you Chuck. Yes, I am Suzie Colberson reporting live from Rollins College, here inside the halls of the historic Hugh McKean Dormitory where the root of this horrible illness originated. Yes, scientists and scholars alike have traced and tracked this terrible illness that is plaguing Rollins College to this very spot that I am standing. I’m getting shivers just standing here. Wait, Wait, listen….

*** (softly) sneeze, sniffle-sniffle, sneeze***

Suzie: Oh! Oh! Do you hear that sound, that horrendous gut wrenching noise? I think we have just witnessed the sound of this plague that has descended down upon these students like a swarm of angry black locus, wreaking havoc across the countryside. (Softly) Wait! Wait! Quiet…..listen…I think it’s getting closer. Listen.

*** (a little louder but still nothing bad) sneeze, sniffle-sniffle, sneeze***

Suzie: Oh, George by the fiery depths of hell, I think we can get an interview with this most sickly and unfortunate soul.

(pause)

Suzie: (break in mystical voice from before) George. George! Bring the camera over here. George, over here! Now! Ok that’s good.

Suzie: (back to normal creepy voice) Excuse me Miss. Miss? Yes hello Miss.

I’m Suzie Colberson reporting live for WPRK News, can I ask you a few questions?

Krissy (cheerfully): Well sure. No problem. I was just heading down to the…

Suzie: The hospital….Yes, yes. I’m sure my dear. I’m sure.

Krissy (confused but still cheerful): No, no hospital for me. I was just going to the cafeteria. I’m starving.

Suzie: O yes, one of your last real meals, yes I understand.

Krissy: No I’m fine. ***Sniffle, Sniffle*** Will you excuse me for a second. I have to sneeze. *** Sneeze***

Suzie: Oh Suzie. Suzie, Suzie, Suzie, you most unfortunate soul. Tell me my dear, how are you dealing with this terrible sickness that you have contracted here within the chamber of this death dorm known to many as McKean Hall? How are you dealing with this terrible, horrendous sickness?

Krissy: Um. I don’t know really know what you’re talking about. I just have a little cold. Tons of people have the same sort of thing in this dorm. It’s very common.

Suzie: YES! There we have it. This disease, this plague has spread to, and I quote, “TONS OF PEOPLE.” Tons, with a capital T. Students beware. We have heard it straight from one of the disease herself.

Krissy: Wait, wait. What are you talking about, I am not diseased. I just played a soccer game yesterday. I’m fine. I have a date later tonight, its just a little cold, honestly I swear.

Suzie: (condescendingly, like talking to a little child) Yes, yes I’m sure my dear, Just a little cold.

(Sternly) As you can tell this poor girl is delirious, one of the many symptoms of this- this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, plague. Soon she will experience other symptoms including: rapid alcohol consumption, loss of hair color, and attraction to the opposite sex.

Krissy: Well all of that doesn’t sound so bad. But if you excuse me, I have to go. I’m soooo hungry.

Suzie (more sternly): Oh my dear girl, I wasn’t finished. After the hair loss, your eyes will fall out and you’ll slowly turn into a flesh eating zombie. Yes a flesh eating zombie. For those of you students living in McKean, Ward, or Elizabeth Hall, you may want to make sure your room-mate isn’t sneezing or coughing because if they are, they may soon turn into a flesh hungry zombie and eat you while you sleep. Krissy here said it herself. And I quote: “I’m soooo hungry.” Yes. Krissy here is hungry for human flesh.

Krissy: No, I’m not.

Suzie (snappy): Yes you are. You’re just delirious and don’t know it yet. (Anxiously) Look! Look! George are you getting this. Krissy here is attacking me. She is trying to bite me.

Krissy: No, I’m not.

Suzie (frightened): Yes, Yes she is. Run, run George.

Krissy: Ok. I’m going to get some food. Bye.

Suzie: Run George. Run. She is hungry. I’m Suzie Colberson reporting live from inside the death dorm of McKean Hall. And as soon as I get away from the clutches of this diseased zombie I will be back. For now, back to you in the booth Chuck.

(Pause)

Suzie (whispering)(annoyed): Did you get that. Good. OK. Good. No George, she wasn’t really attacking me. Yes, I know I was lying on air. No George. No. Just go move the equipment.

Announcer: Alright Suzie. Thanks for that frightening report. Be safe out there people. Zombies are on the loose. We will have another update on this later in the show. Now back to Darkness Visible Radio.


The dog show

This is the beginning of our script. Comments would be greatly appreciated
thanks JJ, Amanda, johnny

Dog show

Katherine: Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, I am Katherine Mcpherson here with my co-host Thomas Burton and welcome to the 131th Westminster Kennel Club Annual All Breed Dog show. The competition is fierce and I believe that it is the best we have had in years.

Thomas: That’s right Katherine these dogs are gorgeous, but there are some big bitches here tonight.

Katherine: Yes… and that is not funny.

Thomas: Bloody hell it is!

Katherine: Well anyways, this year there is a wide variety of different breeds being represented at today’s shows. The breeds range from a large Greater swiss mountain dog to a small west highland white terrier. Last years best in show for 2006 was a bull terrier named Rufus, and it was truly a magical performance. I expect nothing but excellence, as the dogs competing this year are in rare form!

Thomas: Look at the willy on that dog...ladies and gentleman that’s our winner.

Katherine: That is revolting and that is not a category… but I cannot deny that he is well qualified in that aspect. I wish my husband was as hung as him….but (clears throat) …yes a very splendid dog indeed.

DRUGS @ Rollins

Eric Cohen
Darkness Visible Radio
No Friends

Nate- Depressed Girl Sounding Man/Lauren
Rich- Depressed Obnoxious Guy on steroids
Johnny- Gay Guy loves coke/ Jarome
Me- drug dealer/HollyWood
Sarah- street girl with attitude
Amanda- very intellectual smarty pants
Carolina-shy girl
Seth-stoner
Joesy- Cracker
Professor Boles-security 1
John-Security 2

Nate- Hey HollyWood! You got my stuff?

Eric- I thought the doctor told you to lay-off all drugs until you’re off the suicidal watch list

Nate- That’s preposterous, the only reason im on that stupid list, is because freaaaakin, campus security couldn’t tell I was drunk. Im sorry, I get very depressed when im drunk.

Eric- Well I mean good enough for me here just don’t kill yourself ok lauren

Johnny- Hey Lauren, I got a question.

Nate- Yes… jarome

Johnny- Lauren who was that guy you were with last night.

Nate- OMG! Mike the meat head he’s crazy. How did you let that happen!

Johnny- Well I tried to get your attention but he started to conoogle your depression and was being like uhh… fake nice you know and you fell for it.

Nate- ughhhh… im so stupid…. Noooooo, wait. So that’s the guy who left my bed this morning . AAAAAHHHHHHH! Wait that’s him, pretend like we were never talking about him.

Rich- Hey Hollywood, you got my stuff.

Eric- Yea bro right here.

Rich- my roommate is outa town can you help me out this week I want to focus on the legs.

Eric- Has anyone told you before you have a problem

Pickin Hollywood up by the throat

Eric- Yo Mike your kinda choking me. Alright ill put this in your legs jeeze.

Rich- Sorry dude I tend to loose my cool when people get me aggravated. So Lauren, what you doin lata

Nate- Ughhh not chilling with you, sicko

Rich- Why you actin all crazy you were lovin me last night

Nate- Wait lets get one thing straight. I was drunk. You took advantage of me. Left. So heres a little something, get, away, before I call campus security for pushing me toward the edge of suicide, one. Two. Three.

Rich- Aite im outta here, Hollywood

Eric- Yea

Nate- I hate his guts.

Eric- yea he is a weird kid. A little to… whats the word self conscious.

Johnny- So Hollywood you have that fresh powder for me I need to tickle my nose.

Eric- Well jarome do you have money for me this time I cant eat anymore cheeseburgers.

Johnny- no but I do have a friend for you

Eric- OOhhh yea wa she look like.

Johnny- Skinny, blonde, velumptious girl and loves Hollywood the city so shell love you.

Eric- Yea bring her over

Amanda- Hey hunny… I here they call you Hollywood.

Eric- That’s me

Amanda- Well I hear… Johnny says you’re the man on campus you need something youll get I think that’s hott.

Eric- Well…. (trying to be modest) that’s me

Amanda- So youre goin to hit me up lata right?

Eric- yea wa ur digits

Amanda- 555-5445

Johnny- I told you the complete package right.

Eric- Y do you gay people have such hot girl friends

(switching over to a normal heterosexual voice)

Johnny- yo you really think im gay I just love chillen with hot girls

Eric- then what you doing chillen with Lauren..

Johnny- She has massive depression feel kinda bad… but really because here friends are smoking.

Eric- Youre a dog I wish I knew that earlier

Johnny- yea yo I shower with them check em’ for breast cancer… the only crappy part is the voice really hurts my throat… Don’t say a word here she comes… (switching voices back) Heeeey Lauren!

Nate- Hey guyz! Hollywood thanx so much for these pills! Jarome I need you to take me back to the room and tell me the secrets to a true man.

(thinking to himself)

Eric- that son of a gun… (outloud) take care guyz… don’t pull anything

(out of the blackness of the sky a woman appears)

Sarah- Eyyyy Hollywood, wa up?

Eric- Hey Shantori! What it going to be tonite?

Sarah- I would love those rocks. Ya know me and my boyfriend are goin out tonite being that Tuesday is the new Saturday you smell me.

Eric- Excuse me do I smell you?

Sarah- Its an expression you dumb cracka.

Eric- OOOO!..... Yea I smelll ya… (mumbling under his breadth) freak

Sarah- lata Hollywood!

Eric- Lata! Looky loooky if it isn’t the man without a plan stooner ffrancesco.

Seth- Hey mannn like I want to pick up like a lot of stuff.

Eric- Oo yea you a narc!?

Seth- Nooo wayyy mann.. Im like a student

Eric- I know this isn’t you first trip to me mookie

Seth- Hahaa yea I Know man I didn’t know if you remembered me…

Eric- Of Course I remember you your like me biggest buyer since I got here… yesterday.

Seth- True mannn… I smelt you when I was walking buy Mckean… I have sixth senses and seventh senses

Eric- ooo yeayy

Seth- Yup im quite proud of my ability to pick up the stench of weed in a square mile radius

Eric- 50 bux you smoking man put that stuff in my hand if that money doesn’t show than im goin to not give you my dro

Seth- Woaahh dude you just make that up….

Eric- Run now before……

Seth- AEHHHHHHH! (footsteps trembling off in the distance)

Eric- What a stooner… Rollins is surprisingly filled with some outlandish characters, wait, what does outlandish mean.

Amanda- Well outlandish means extreamily weird or bizarre

Eric- Where did you come from

Amanda- Well I tend to pop out of bushes and stuff when people need answers

Eric- Well what kind of answer

Amanda- anything

Eric- Are you god?

Amanda- Nope just a really smart girl on a full ride

Eric- Why are smart girls so damn attractive.

Carolina- He he hello…

Eric- yes shy girl how may I help you

Carolina- Well I could use some marijuana do you have marijuana

Eric- Are you an RA?

Carolina- What wha what makes you think that?

Eric- Well first of all your repeating yourself three times, your shvitzing, and your speaking into the middle of your chest

Carolina-Well Im just uhhhh shhhyyy yea shhhy call me shhyyy grl

Eric- Ok sshhhhyyy grlll hahaa how much you want.

Carolina- All of it

Eric- I want a g

Caolina- ill be ba bac back

Joesy- Hollllyyywwoood IIII needed you

Eric- Well im goin to have to let you dry out in the parking lot your goin through withdrawal

Joesy- noooo you don’t understand! I need your help

Eric- My hands are tied dear

Joesey- Well your cover is blown

Eric- Wait what you mean

Joesey- campus security and the police are on the way to search the room

Proffesor Boles- Excuse me son what are you doing hanging out on mills lawn all by yourself

Carolina- AHHHaaaa we gotcha you slime ball peace of Garbage

John- This kid is pathetic do we even need to ask

Proffesor Boles- Its apart of protical we must ask

John- Ok if you insist

Proffesor Boles- Are you carrying any narcotics on your persons

Eric- My what

Proffesor Boles- Your persons

Eric- My what

Proofessor Boles- Kid are you selling drugs

Eric- Ughhhh no… im talking to people

Joesey- yea is that illegal or something

Proffesor Boles- lady don’t get involved

Joesey- Well why not

John- cause the law of the campus say so….

Joesey- you don’t scare me looser… wa u drop out of highschool to get this job

Proffesor Boles- that’s it your comin with me

Joesey- waaiiitt….. I didn’t do anything Hollywood is the one selling drugs

Eric- Haaahhhaaa thanx babe!

John- Your lucky the big man picked her up instead of you

Eric- Yo heres a hundred take it easy! Keep it on the look out for me
John- For sure I gotch you kid but this is goin to be a weekly thing right

Eric- Right

John- its been a pleasure Hollywood

Eric- yes mr. security guard

Carolina- yoooourrr luccckkky kid that’ll be tonite

Eric- How’d my spot get blown up in one day. These rich girls don’t know how to keep there mouths shut. Cant they just pick up drugs then leave. God Rollins is so relaxing.
On the bright side I could’ve been arrested.



Let me KNow if it is to risque

finished jenny's date with cast

Jenny’s date
Cast:
Self-esteem- sarah
Beauty- amanda
Hormone- lili
Memory- adrian
Intelligence- Josi
Nurture- nate (female voice)
Wisdom- JJ
(Phone Ring)

Jenny: Hello?Yes, of coarse I’m excited for our date tonight, Steve.8o’clock. Sure, I’ll be ready.Sure, I love Italian.Ok. See you then.
(phone hang up….dial sound)

Beauty: Yes! Finally its time to go on a date again. And I am lookin gooooood. Mmhm.

Hormone: I know, Beauty. It’s about damn time. I swear, if I don’t get so show Jenny’s wild side tonight, I’m going to go be someone else’s hormones.

Beauty: Oh Jenny, not that lipstick. It makes your teeth look yellow. Oh, good, she chose the other lipstick.Hormone, do you think Jenny should wear the little black dress or the red one with buttons?

Hormone: I don’t know, that’s your job. I’m here to take whatever you chose off.

Self-esteem: (Panicking) Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Jenny has a date. WE are going on a date. What do I do! Oh my gosh! I cant do this. Jenny cant do this. It’s going to be terrible. A total disaster!

Hormone: What’s self-esteem’s problemBeauty: She always gets like this. It’s the same old thing… (mimicking tone) “WE’re fat, ugly. No one is going to love us…” excetera.

Self-esteem: Well, its true. No one is going to love us. Jenny will look terrible in that dress..

Beauty: Hey…

Self-esteem: Then we’ll go to dinner. She will say something stupid and Steve will think she is an idiot. We will come back and Jenny will turn on the T.V. and watch reruns of “Sex in the City” and wonder why we couldn’t be a Samantha. Then we will get fat and no one wants a chubet. Then grow old, own ten cats and be miserable and alone, other than those pesky kids that just love to bug old people.

Intelligence: I resent that “stupid” comment.

Hormone: Hello, Intelligence. How’s the I.Q.

Intelligence: Still high for Jenny’s age. Now self-esteem, there is no need to say such things. WE are going to go on the date and I will say something wonderful about global warming and Steve will be intrigued.

Beauty: Or intimidated. Honeslty, Intellegence, I’m tired of you butting in with your comments on global issues. I mean no guy really wants a nerdy girl.

Hormone: That’s right. He wants a real woman. One with look and can keep him entertained.

Self-esteem: Entertained! Oh my. We’re not a very good host. Wait what do you mean by entertained?

Hormone: The birds and the bees, of coarse.

Self-esteem: Oh my goodness! You mean SEX! No, no, no. that’s not going to happen. What if at the first kiss, Jenny misses, or worse, is bad.

Hormone: She isn’t.

Self-esteem: but, but, but, then he will see her….naked! Oh no! Not possible. Especially if the lights are on. He will see her fat roles and be like “hey there fatty!” No, not going to happen. I need to sit down.

Nurture: That’s right, sit down.

Self-esteem: Oh, Nurture, thank God you’re here.

Nurture: Calm down self-esteem. Everything is going to be fine.

Self-esteem: No it isn’t going to be fine. We are going on a date with….STEVE. Have you seen him. He is too good for us.

Beauty: Not for this body.

Nurture: Now, now, self-esteem, It will be great. Jenny hasn’t gone on a date for a while, and she is more than ready. Aren’t you tired of watching “Sex in the City?”

Self-esteem: well, that’s true. Nurture?Nurture: Yes, darling?Self-esteem: Do you think Jenny is ugly?

Beauty: Listen, ingrate, Jenny is the hottest chick around.

Nurture: Beauty! Don’t talk to Self-esteem that way.

Hormone: Well, someone should say something. We cant go on the date if we don’t all agree to go. And I can’t stand our dry spell anymore.

Nurture: Self-esteem, hormone is right. We cant go on the date unless we all agree to go. There is no reason we shouldn’t go.

Memory: Yes there is.

Nurture: Oh, no. Memory, what are you doing here. We don’t need you here.

Memory: I think you do. Self esteem, have plenty of reasons you should want to go on this date. Don’t you remember Chris?

Self-esteem: Chris? Oh no. That went really, really bad.

Memory: you remember how we hit it off on the first day, started dating for a while, then he left us for a younger, more beautiful blonde.

Nurture: Stop, memory. This isn’t necessary. All the rest of us want to go.

Memory: Oh, and self-esteem, don’t you remember Dave?

Beauty: Not Dave…

Memory: Oh, yes, good old Dave. Little miss intelligence had to add a comment about politics, and he was silent…for the rest of the night.

Intelligence: Well, how was I supposed to know he was in love with Bush.

Memory: Oh, and Max. He didn’t even call us back. Remember the feeling of putting yourself out there, self esteem? And then getting rejected?

Self-esteem: Oh, yes, I remember.

Nurture: Now, memory, we don’t need your little tid-bits of the past.

Wisdom: That’s right, we must learn from our mistakes and move on.

Memory: Oh, hello, Wisdom. How have you been.Wisdom: Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

Memory: Um, ok.

Beauty: Excuse me. I don’t mean to break up this little reunion, but we still have to pick out something to wear.

Hormone: it should be something hot. What about that black number you were talking about.

Self-esteem: well, um, black is slimming. I like black.

Nurture: What about something that covers-up a little more.

Hormone: Nurture, we need to accent the assets.

Intelligence: why? Steve is going to like us for what’s in our head, not on our body.

Hormone: Intelligence, don’t ruin this for me. Just try too keep quiet tonight.

Wisdom: Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they want to say something.

Hormone: Yeah, what wisdom said.

Beauty: Focus, everyone. Hair up or down.Self-esteem: Up. Down. Up. Down, yes, down. That way Steve won see her bony collar and lanky neck.

Beauty: It’s not bony, it’s defined. Self-Esteem, I’m really getting tired of this.

Wisdom: When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.

Memory: Wisdom, what are you talking about?

Intelligence: This is the 10 minute call. Steven will be here in ten minutes.

Beauty: Oh, my, we haven’t even decided shoes.

Self-esteem: No!!!! no shoes! No date! We aren’t going. He is going to laugh at her, then we will come back here, eat a pint of ben n’ jerries fish food, and sulk in the dark while watching the OC and wondering, “hey, why couldn’t I be skinny like marissa. And even if I was skinny liker her, they would kill me off the show!”

Nurture: Self-esteem, we have five minutes now. Please, we need you. We cant do it without you. Think about the good dates we have had. Right, memory?

Memory: Well, I guess we have had a couple. Like Jake.

Nurture: Yeah, Jake, you remember Jake… don’t you self-esteem?

Self-esteem: Yeah, I do. He was nice. I liked Jake.

Hormone: And you remember how good he was (pause) FOR us.


Beauty: I still need to pick shoes!

Self-esteem: well, I guess Jenny’s ankles do look good in the strappy black heels.

Nurture: That’s the spirit. You can do this, we all can. Steven is a nice man.


(Knocking)

Intelligence: Steve is here!!

Hormones: It’s show time. We are going to show him a good time. Right self-esteem?

Self-esteem: Well, Jenny does look good tonight. And we have been going to the gym. Ok, I’m all for it.

Wisdom: The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.

Jenny: Hi Steve. You look nice.

Hormone: Good job complimenting him, intelligence.

Self-esteem: Keep eye contact, keep eye contact. Smile. This isn’t that scary.

sarah's skript

sarah's skript for this week is amazing!!!!! are we going to record it before hand??

Audio Posts Downloading

Hello everybody:

For some reason the Steve Irwin Song is not coming up when you hit it to play, but you can download it and any other piece to your computer. You just have to right click on the title, go to SAVE TARGET AS and then you will get a pop up window, which will allow you to save it. You should be able to transfer it to your IPOD or any other mP3 player.

The Steve Irwin Song!

The Steve Irwin song isn't working for me.. is the audio clip there and just not working for me? : (

sept 12 show

this show was probably the most frustrating of the 3. First off the mics weren't really ready in time. Then the show started off with little energy, myslef included. The cheaters script at thee end was the highlight of the show and probably of all the 3 shows because it used everyone in the class and people were having fun with it. Rich taking the mic off the stand and talkin to the group worked well. It seemed like he wasn't reading a script so it sounded more realistic. Next show we need to rehearse a bit more and know our parts in advance.

sept. 12th show

Hi all:

As lily said, we know what to do, so let's do it. Read what lily has to say because she has words of wisdom. Let's get in our scripts and produce our best show to date!


Adrian

Listen to Darkness Visible Whenever, Wherever

Soon all the recorded scripts will be available for you to hear whenever you want.

Check the audio postings on the right hand side of the blog.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Lily's Announcements = )

Hey All!

Well.. enough was said about the show this morning in class. We all have great ideas. I think the problem is the failure to execute them. So follow up on what you suggested! Have those shorter scripts in on Friday, and the longer ones in on Monday. Print out a copy if you're the writer, and bring a pen to class so you can make corrections. Then upload the revised script as soon as possible.

Seth's already gone over how the script format should look like. Don't forget those cast lists! People won't know they have a role otherwise, and thus won't have time to go over their lines if they're just being handed a script Tuesday night. And don't forget to -review- the script if you're in it! I think I go over my own scripts at LEAST 3-5 times, and run my lines in different ways to see which I think would best suit the script.

On another note.. the technical aspect of Darkness Visible -is- apart of your grade. Therefore, neither myself nor Seth should have to set up mic's or do sound checks on Tuesday nights. It's all you. There really shouldn't be anyone sitting around doing nothing when we meet at 8 pm. You can help the DJ pull music, set up the mic stands, untangle the cords and plug them in, help out in the production booth, in the dj booth, etc etc. Besides.. when you just loaf around.. someone else will do the same.. and it'll be a whole domino effect. And when that happens? The energy will go doooown.

You all have fun ideas for scripts, and I can't wait to go over them in class on Friday! I think I'll be roaming around McKean tomorrow some time between 1 and 4 pm.. so if you need help plotting, getting creative, writing, editing.. or just want to chat about.. random stuff..haha.. give me a call! (321*946*3473)

Peer Mentor Love <3
lily

P.S. I love doing accents or.. crazy voices.. ha.. so if you wanna cast me, yay! And don't forget Rich would like to be in more scripts, so cast him, too!

Glad That Shows Over (Show #3)

Well, I think it's safe to say that last night was not our best work. The first hour was nothing but chaos and miscues, which is a shame because I think we ruined a great piece of writing by Carolina, and some other good scripts by John and Nate. Without a doubt, the highllight of the show was Amanda's "Cheaters" script. That just goes to show that the scripts that are posted earliest are the ones that turn out the best. We also all had a lot of energy while performing that. I think we should take Rich up on his offer and cast him more, becuase he does a good job.

Personally, I know i made a number of mistakes in the DJ booth (leaving mics on, not having music ready), but i really liked doing it and I really want to DJ again before the end of the semester. For all future DJs out there, I think it would be a good idea to come in another 30 minutes early in order to lean the tech stuff that the job entails. I was kind of leaning on the fly and it just added to the confusion of last ngiht. It may also be a good idea to make a little play list of at least write down the songs you want to play before we actually go on air. I didnt have enough time to pick out all the music i wanted, and it got me flustered.

I'm excited for next week. I think we have the oportunity to really turn this thing around. Let get our scripts in early, get our parts cast, practice a little bit more, and get some more energy. Lets get our shit together and make a good show. I know we can.

Take it easy guys,
Walker

I can't wait till next week

Well, i think we all learned from last weeks show and hopefully, you kidstook some of wehat you suffered through and triumphed from to heart. There were bright sport, but if you really look at the show, i think there is a lack of communication and drive to suceed. I know that you all have other classes and what not, nor am i implying that you do not care about this class but you all have a pretty cool opportunity. YOu can write about anything and air it on radio with a thousand or so people listening. You can make it great or it can stink. You are all intelligent kids and you have the potential to make this show something great. That beging said, here are somethings that you might want to think of for the future.

In my world, scripts should look like this

My Super Script
Steve - Johnny
Steve is a forty year old man with a sinus problem, he compensates by speaking quietly
Amanda - Amanda
Amanda is a valley girl with a lisp

Stage directions should look like this (quietly) (flustered)
WHEN YOU LOOK OVER THE SCRIPTS< TAKE NOTE OF THE DIRECTIONS

-TRy to know what sound effects you need early in the week...its one less thing to do during the chaos.

Ive got nothing else for now. Hope all is well. Much love, papa mentor

How about that show?!

Well the live music was amazing! I hope they can come back some time and play a couple more songs, or have someone play live every week (Nate, John?). We still need to get our scripts in to the r drive. We all definantly need to practice our scripts before hand. Congratulations walker 5000 on winning senate for mckean hall. we also need to make people aware what scripts they are in before an hour till show time. We were pretty sloppy tonight, but I think we can rebound next week and have an incredible show. Can we bring some of are own music next week?

Im still jammin'
Johnny

jenny's date...new skript...not final

Oh, and here is a scipt i started to write... it doesnt have an ending yet, but tell me what you think...i'll cast it later, so look out for that...

Jenny’s date

Cast:
Self-esteem
Beauty
Hormone
Memory
Intelligence
Nurture
Wisdom


(Phone Ring)

Jenny: Hello?
Yes, of coarse I’m excited for our date tonight, Steve.
8o’clock. Sure, I’ll be ready.
Sure, I love Italian.
Ok. See you then.

(phone hang up….dial sound)

Beauty: Yes! Finally its time to go on a date again. And I am lookin gooooood. Mmhm.

Hormone: I know, Beauty. It’s about damn time. I swear, if I don’t get so show Jenny’s wild side tonight, I’m going to go be someone else’s hormones.

Beauty: Oh Jenny, not that lipstick. It makes your teeth look yellow. Oh, good, she chose the other lipstick. Hormone, do you think Jenny should wear the little black dress or the red one with buttons?

Hormone: I don’t know, that’s your job. I’m here to take whatever you chose off.

Self-esteem: (Panicking) Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Jenny has a date. WE are going on a date. What do I do! Oh my gosh! I cant do this. Jenny cant do this. It’s going to be terrible. A total disaster!

Hormone: What’s self-esteem’s problem

Beauty: She always gets like this. It’s the same old thing… (mimicking tone) “WE’re fat, ugly. No one is going to love us…” excetera.

Self-esteem: Well, its true. No one is going to love us. Jenny will look terrible in that dress..

Beauty: Hey…

Self-esteem: Then we’ll go to dinner. She will say something stupid and Steve will think she is an idiot. We will come back and Jenny will turn on the T.V. and watch reruns of “Sex in the City” and wonder why we couldn’t be a Samantha. Then we will get fat and no one wants a chubet. Then grow old, own ten cats and be miserable and alone, other than those pesky kids that just love to bug old people.

Intelligence: I resent that “stupid” comment.

Hormone: Hello, Intelligence. How’s the I.Q.

Intelligence: Still moderate for Jenny’s age. Now self-esteem, there is no need to say such things. WE are going to go on the date and I will say something wonderful about global warming and Steve will be intrigued.

Beauty: Or intimidated. Honeslty, Intellegence, I’m tired of you butting in with your comments on global issues. I mean no guy really wants a nerdy girl.

Hormone: That’s right. He wants a real woman. One with look and can keep him entertained.

Self-esteem: Entertained! Oh my. We’re not a very good host. Wait what do you mean by entertained?

Hormone: The birds and the bees, of coarse.

Self-esteem: Oh my goodness! You mean SEX! No, no, no. that’s not going to happen. What if at the first kiss, Jenny misses, or worse, is bad.

Hormone: She isn’t.

Self-esteem: but, but, but, then he will see her….naked! Oh no! Not possible. Especially if the lights are on. He will see her fat roles and be like “hey there fatty!” No, not going to happen. I need to sit down.

Nurture: That’s right, sit down.

Self-esteem: Oh, Nurture, thank God you’re here.

Nurture: Calm down self-esteem. Everything is going to be fine.

Self-esteem: No it isn’t going to be fine. We are going on a date with….STEVE. Have you seen him. He is too good for us.

Beauty: Not for this body.

Nurture: Now, now, self-esteem, It will be great. Jenny hasn’t gone on a date for a while, and she is more than ready. Aren’t you tired of watching “Sex in the City?”

Self-esteem: well, that’s true. Nurture?

Nurture: Yes, darling?

Self-esteem: Do you think Jenny is ugly?

Beauty: Listen, ingrate, Jenny is the hottest chick around.

Nurture: Beauty! Don’t talk to Self-esteem that way.

Hormone: Well, someone should say something. We cant go on the date if we don’t all agree to go. And I can’t stand our dry spell anymore.

Nurture: Self-esteem, hormone is right. We cant go on the date unless we all agree to go. There is no reason we shouldn’t go.

Memory: Yes there is.

Nurture: Oh, no. Memory, what are you doing here. We don’t need you here.

Memory: I think you do. Self esteem, have plenty of reasons you should want to go on this date. Don’t you remember Chris?

Self-esteem: Chris? Oh no. That went really, really bad.

Memory: you remember how we hit it off on the first day, started dating for a while, then he left us for a younger, more beautiful blonde.

Nurture: Stop, memory. This isn’t necessary. All the rest of us want to go.

Memory: Oh, and self-esteem, don’t you remember Dave?

Beauty: Not Dave…

Memory: Oh, yes, good old Dave. Little miss intelligence had to add a comment about politics, and he was silent…for the rest of the night.

Intelligence: Well, how was I supposed to know he was in love with Bush.

Memory: Oh, and Max. He didn’t even call us back. Remember the feeling of putting yourself out there, self esteem? And then getting rejected?

Self-esteem: Oh, yes, I remember.

Nurture: Now, memory, we don’t need your little tid-bits of the past.

Wisdom: That’s right, we must learn from our mistakes and move on.

Memory: Oh, hello, Wisdom. How have you been.

Wisdom: Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

Memory: Um, ok.

Beauty: Excuse me. I don’t mean to break up this little reunion, but we still have to pick out something to wear.

Hormone: it should be something hot. What about that black number you were talking about.

Self-esteem: well, um, black is slimming. I like black.

Nurture: What about something that covers-up a little more.

Hormone: Nurture, we need to accent the assets.

Intelligence: why? Steve is going to like us for what’s in our head, not on our body.

Hormone: Intelligence, don’t ruin this for me. Just try too keep quiet tonight.

Wisdom: Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they want to say something.

Hormone: Yeah, what wisdom said.

Beauty: Focus, everyone. Hair up or down.

Self-esteem: Up. Down. Up. Down, yes, down. That way Steve won see her bony collar and lanky neck.

Beauty: It’s not bony, it’s defined. Self-Esteem, I’m really getting tired of this.

Wisdom: When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.

Memory: Wisdom, what are you talking about?

Intelligence: This is the 10 minute call. Steven will be here in ten minutes.

Beauty: Oh, my, we haven’t even decided shoes.

Self-esteem: No!!!! no shoes! No date! We aren’t going. He is going to laugh at her, then we will come back here, eat a pint of ben n’ jerries fish food, and sulk in the dark while watching the OC and wondering, “hey, why couldn’t I be skinny like marissa. And even if I was skinny liker her, they would kill me off the show!”

Nurture: Self-esteem, we have five minutes now. Please, we need you. We cant do it without you. Think about the good dates we have had. Right, memory?

Memory: Well, I guess we have had a couple. Like Nate.

Nurture: Yeah, Nate, you remember Nate… don’t you self-esteem?

Self-esteem: Yeah, I do. He was nice. I liked Nate.

Beauty: I still need to pick shoes!

Self-esteem: well, I guess Jenny’s ankles do look good in the strappy black heels.

Nurture: That’s the spirit. You can do this, we all can. Steven is a nice man.

show from hell

Hey guys,

all i have to say is we can only go up. we had a lot more energy so that was good, and i think we all now what we need to improve on. cursewords, mics being on, reading script before....etc. Keep you spirits up and learn form you mistakes. hopefully we will have enough material next week from the start, cuz i know me and walker were freaking out about it before the show. i think the MVP should go to Lili. Also, the sound effects are getting better and the live music was an amazing idea.

love caro

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

final cheaters script

sorry this is posted so late. There's really not that much change, so if you've already printed out a copy I wouldn't bother printing this version out. . .it just has more audiece applause and sound effects, ect

Show Host: Rich
Dustin: Walker
Sally the Slut: Nate
Audience Member 1: Carolina
Audience Member 2: Nate
Audience Member 3: Sarah
Audience Member 4: Johnny



Show host: Good evening everyone, and Welcome to “Cheaters Never Prosper” where we expose your loving significant other for dirty cheating lowlifes they really are.
(applause)
Show Host: We’ve got an especially heart wrenching show ahead of us today. . . Here with us is Dustin, a Rollins freshman who suspects his girlfriend of three months of being unfaithful.
(gasps)
Show Host: So Dustin, why don’t we start with you telling a little about yourself and how this girlfriend of yours holds such a special place in your life.
Dustin: Well I just started school a few weeks ago as a biology major, and its been a pretty easy transition, especially being that I already knew my girlfriend, Sally before we both arrived on campus. Since then I’ve been pretty busy trying to get involved on campus and keeping my grades where I want them. Sally understands because she’s pretty busy as well. . .it seems like she’s all over the place these days.
Show Host: Ah, and that’s why you’re here with us today.
Dustin: (Sigh) Yea, I mean I really admire Sally. . .she’s so adventurous, so bold, and she’s never afraid to try something new. I feel more than just an average guy when I’m around her, but lately I feel we’ve become more distant. . . Every night it seems she has plans without me and I think there might be some one else.
Show host: Well everyone, sounds like we’ve got a cheater on our hands.
Dustin: Well, I’m willing to give her the benefit of a doubt. I just want the opportunity to talk things out between us. I hate the thought of being cheated on. It’s possible she could just be really busy- I mean she has been involved in a lot of on campus activities lately.
Show Host: She’s a cheater, Dustin. A dirty pirate hooker, if you will. The sooner you except this the easier the healing process will be. And there will be no talking things out- just painful realization and hurtful confrontation. That’s how we roll on “Cheaters never Prosper”
Dustin: Hey don’t you think you’re crossing the line just a bit? I really don’t appreciate you talking about Sal--
Show Host: I’m sorry Dustin, but we have a lot of show to get through so you’re gonna have to save your crying for the next commercial break. It’s about that time we show painfully embarrassing footage to expose Sally’s incriminating acts of whorishness!
Everyone Ready?!
(audience roars in approval)
Show Host: Alright then. Let’s see it!
(set darkens and screen drop down behind show host and Dustin)
(first incriminating photo appears, audience gasps)
Show Host: As we can see here, Sally is philandering with a rather nerdy looking creep from what I understand is the Star Wars enthusiasts club on campus. Wow that must be pretty embarrassing for you , huh Dustin?
Dustin: I- I don’t know what to say. I’m nothing special but there’s no way Sally’s cheating on me with one of these guys. I can’t believe-
Show Host: Sorry Dustin, I just hate to cut you off but we have a lot more painful cheating footage to expose to the world. Next Clip?
( audience ooh, awws, and gasps)
Show Host: Please tell me your girlfriend is not cheating on you with the president of the chess club. It’s like she’s adding insult to injury. What do you have to say about this one, Dustin?
Dustin: (becoming very annoyed) This is humiliating. Why did it seem like a good idea to sort out my relationship problems on national television?
Show Host: I don’t know, but It’s making for some great TV. My ratings are shooting through the roof.
( audience applause)
Dustin: (with sarcasm) Well I’m glad you people are amused. What’s wrong with you? Can you have some sympathy here- I mean I am a person and I-
Show Host: Alright Dustin I’m going to ask to stop talking for a few minutes. . .sit the next few rounds out, if you get my drift. Now let’s get back to business- Next clip!
(next clip appears, audience gasps and boos)
Show Host: O. My. I don’t think any kind of explanation can excuse this one. In all my years of hosting this show, and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything so repulsive. This is disgusting, I mean this is really, really, terrible. This is so shameful. . .For the first time I actually feel badly about being amused by something so unsettling
Dustin: Ok, Ok, I get the freakin point.
Show Host: (clears throat) As I was saying, this appears to be Sally with a member of . . .the bed wetter’s association?
(audience chatter)
Audience member 1: (stands and yells) Wait a minute! Hold on one second!
Show Host: looks like a member of our audience has something to add. Someone get her a microphone.
Audience member 1: Is this Sally the Slut? You are dating Sally the Slut? And you didn’t think there would be any infidelity in this relationship? I don’t know if you are aware of this, but part of her name involves the word “slut.”
( Sally the Slut, unable to sit backstage with dread, rushes onto the stage)
Sally the Slut: Yes I am Sally the Slut, and I am not ashamed. I will not just sit and take this anymore.
( audience gasps and everyone turns to look at Sally)
Show Host: O, about that. I really did not see this coming. . .So we are just going to cut to a brief commercial break, we’ll be right be back with more humiliation, scandal, and-
Sally: No! I won’t stand for anymore of this. Listen, Dustin, I am truly sorry about all this. . .I never meant for you to find out like this. But I am a woman inspired. I vowed to expand my horizons, to go where no woman has probably ever been before. . . To the chess club and even the bed wetter’s association. I want to hook up with someone from everyone from every club on campus.
Dustin: But Sally, doesn’t that make you sort of a whore?
(audience oohhs)
Sally: NO. I am from a mission from God and I will not be stopped.
Dustin: Sally, don’t you think this information could have been useful before we appeared on national television?
Audience Member 2: ( creepy nerdy voice) Hey I think Sally is on to something, here. It was really nice to have a girl, I mean an actual FEMALE at one of Dungeons and Dragons strategy conventions. ( creepy snicker) I mean, really nice.
Audience member 3: This is for Sally- Girl, I support what your doin- What you’re representin’ could empower women everywhere. Don’t let nobody hold you back- you ain’t no ho. You’re doin it, girl.
(applause)
Show Host: Yes. I’d say it’s safe to say she’s doing it.
Dustin: What?! Empowering women everywhere? Have you people forgotten that I’m being cheated on here?
Audience member 4: (gay guy voice) Oh Dustin, you poor little dear. With a woman as strong and admirable as Sally, its just hard to keep up with her sometimes. I’m sure she’ll give you a second chance.
Dustin: ME? She’ll give ME a second chance?
Show Host: Well looks we have a first on “Cheaters Never Prosper.” Our alleged dirty streetwalking lowlife has evolved into beloved icon for women everywhere.
Dustin: Now this is getting completely ridicu-
Show Host: I’m sorry Dustin, but the audience has spoken. Now Sally, why don’t you take a seat so we can talk a little more about this quest, this amazing journey to exceed the very pinnacle of all whorishness. What has it been like?
Sally: (sigh) My quest has not been an easy one. Many times I’ve wanted to give up- there are so many different clubs- it has been exhausting at times. But those times when I hit rock bottom, I just had to remind myself of what I’m made of. I’m not like any other Sally out there. I’m Sally the Slut and I will be a success.
(audience applause)
Show Host: That was amazing Sally; Such an inspired woman you are- with the compassion of Mother Teresa and the wisdom of Buddha himself
(more applause)
Dustin: (still annoyed) It doesn’t seem like the phrase “cheaters never prosper” applies to this show.
Show Host: Dustin, there is no need for the rage in your voice. I’m not afraid to get security up on stage.
Dustin: What?!
Sally: No, Dustin is right. I should have told him about my quest a long time ago. I just got too caught up in it all. Dustin, I’m sorry.
Dustin. (sigh) I guess I can forgive you if this is so important to you. I can’t say that I support all this or that we’ll ever get back together, but I guess we can talk things out when we both get back to Rollins
Show Host: Yes, because there will be no talking things out on my show. Things are already shaping up too happily for my taste. But that’s about all the time we have here today on “Cheaters never prosper” the show with more scandal than you can handle, and where you can always turn to when you suspect you have smelly lowlife cheater in your life.
(applause)

I wish I had a single

Sorry it’s posted a little late.

CAST

Lilly; Carolina

Tina; Madison

Jen; Amanda

Cindy; Sarah

Denise; Lilly

Lilly; Ok, so I am a freshmen in college, right. My friends and I had so fears before we went away to college such as gaining a freshmen 15, accidently sleeping with a professor at a party, or becoming a sally the slut…well the roommate was my biggest fear.. When I first got to Rollins I was loving it, but before I knew it my roommate turned completely psycho. I wish I had a single.

(Lilly thinking)- What the hell, why can’t I open this friggen door, shit I just locked it again. (opens the door.

Tina- Hey girlfriend whats going on bebe.

Lilly- Tina why don’t you ever TELL ME your in here, and you are standing by the door can’t you just open it for me, I have all these books.

Tina- Sorry girl, I screamed as loud as I could.

Lilly- Whatever

Lilly: At this point I just wanted to cry and go to bed I was up since 2 doing work last night and my roommate woke me up at 6:30 … oh god I can hear her voice now….

Tina – OH MY GOD I SLEPT SO WELL, Oh my god, my roommate is still sleeping!
Wake Up Wake UpOn a saturday nightCould be New YorkMaybe Hollywood and VineLondon, Paris maybe TokyoThere's something going on anywhere I goTonightTonightYeah, tonight

Lilly- ( moaning) I don’t have class till 10

Tina- Damnn girl it’s already 5, I only have five hours left. I better get moving!!!

Lilly- Tina im tired, I really just want to sleep, do you think that you can be a little quieter???

Tina- oh yeah sure girlfriend don’t worry about it…

Lilly –Ten minuets later I here the sound of a hair dryer.Tina I thought I told you that I was trying to sleep….

Tina- Well you did hun, but see, how am I suppose to get beautiful for all these HUNKS, huh girlfriend….

Lilly- Yeah I guess…. Later that day I was back in our dorm room sex in the city with Jen, Denise and Cindy.

Jen- Ah!! I love this part when Carrie and Big get together but I don’t know why, hes such a jerk to her!

Lily- And I can’t believe Miranda’s pregnant

Denise; Again?

Jen; No she was never pregnant.

Cindy; Guys quiet I’m trying to watch the show

Lily; I was so surprised.

Jen; Samantha slept with so many men I surprised she didn’t get pregnant.

Lily; Remember when she became a lesbian

Denise; Oh that was so gross.

Cindy; You guys.

Jen; Super gross.

Denise; I still loved her though in a non lesbian way.

Jen; Yeah me too.

Lilly- I know!! I love Sex in the City!

Cindy- SHHH guys!!!! YOUR RUINING IT!!!

Lilly, Jen and Denise – Ha ha ok SORRY Cindy! Hahaha

Lilly; Then the door Slams Open.

Tina- UMMMM HI GUYS…

Lilly, Jen, Cindy, Denise- Hi Tina, how are you?

Tina- Good what have you all been up to all day?

Lilly- We have been watching Sex in the City.

Cindy- AND NOW IT’S THE BEST PART! Shhh!!!

Tina- Umm actually I need you all to leave I have to do my homework…

Lilly- Tina, these are my friends and I live here, you cant just come in and kick people out…

Tina- Yes I can, I need to do this one page rough draft due in 6 days it’s soooo crucial and needs to be done right this second.

Lilly- Fine Tina have it your way, I left. A few hours later, It was pouring outside

Jen- Lilly come on lets go we need to go catch the movie, we are going to be so late!!!

Lilly- Ok ok, let me just go get my rain coat. I go to my room to get my rain coat and umbrella, nothing is there, no note, my rain gear is gone.

Lilly: What the heck! Is she serious, she took all of my rain stuff, what the hell am I suppose to wear, does she ever think of anyone else!

Jen- No she doesn’t, she’s queen of the universe remember. Don’t worry Lill it will get better, I’m sure of it.

Lilly- GET BETTER!! JEN, She wakes me up in the morning even on weekends at the crack of dawn, when we watch movies all day on the weekends, she barges in OUR room not hers, not mine, but OUR ROOM, and tells my friends to get out because SHE has to do work, or change. THAT’S NOT FAIR I live here too! God, we are so different, I don’t know how we got put together, its getting to hard….. OH AND ON TOP OF THAT SHE TAKES MY RAINCOAT WHEN IT’S POURING OUT!!! HOW MUCH WORSE COULD IT GET!!!! I wish I had a single.

Jen- Come on Lilly, lets just go for a walk and let you blow off some steam. I bet you’ll feel better afterwards.


Lily; You’re such a good friend Jen.

Jen; I know ( they both laugh) Come on I have an extra umbrella in my room.
Lily; 4 hours later around 10:00 at night Jen and I casually walked back to Lilly’s room. I felt so much better. Then I hung out there for a while. I started undressing into my p.j’s when the door slammed open.. TINA IM CHANGING!!!!!! AND YOU HAVE TIMMY WITH YOU, SHUT .Honestly Tina, right now im really mad, just leave the door open I don’t have my key with me, ill be back soon.

Tina- OK WHATEVER GIRL YOU DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.

Lilly; I come back 1 hour later, tries to get in the door, its locked. Ugh, I am going to go insane, this is not working out. Today’s going be to a good day. I got no sleep last night but that’s okay. All I need is a mocha latte supreme and I’ll be okay. Where’s my mocha latte supreme. Katie did you drink the mocha latte supreme in the fridge?

T; Yeah

L; But it was mine

T; You didn’t have your name on it. Oh yeah you did, you didn’t have

your name on the chocolate cake or the delicious sandwich.

L; You ate my cake and my, I can’t deal with it anymore I just lost it.(takes a breath) First of all there are only two people that have a key to this room. Therefore, there are only two people living in hear. Meaning that only two people would put something in the (as if in sounding it out) refrigerator. Therefore if you didn’t buy it then it is not yours.

T; What about Bill?

L; The R.A.?

T; Yes.

L; What about Bill?

T; He has a key.

L; So.

T; So maybe he could have come and put the alleged chocolate cake and

delicious sandwich in the (as if mooching her) refrigerator.

L; So what your saying is you believe that are R.A., was just walking by and thought, gee maybe I should put some chocolate cake and a sandwich

T; Delicious.

L; Delicious sandwich in the fridge.

T; Yeah;

L; Do you actually hear the words that are coming out of your mouth or

T; It’s very logical.

L; Logical? (under her breath) I doubt you even know what that word

means.

T; What?

L; Nothing, I mean using this logic. How did you know he didn’t leave the

it for me?

T; Ha

L; Ha

T; Did I say Ha? I’m sorry I meant ( starts to laugh) Ha ha ha ha ha hah.

L; What’s that suppose to mean?

T; Well look at you.

L; What?

T; It’s not just how you look it’s your voice too.

L; What’s wrong with my voice.

T; Well your so manly.

L; Manly?

T; You walk around stomping and yelling who ate my chocolate cake,

Stop letting boys see me naked. I’m going to eat you rah. As if, you should be more sweet and gentle like me. Like, who ate my chocolate cake, I’m going to eat you rah. You know more like me. And by the way if your name not’s on it it’s community property unless it looks delicious then it’s up for grabs.

L; Are those my pants?

T; I don’t see your name on it.

L; Katie.

T; Yes?

L; ( In a princess voice) Sleep with your eyes open? (slams door)

T; Oh my gosh, she’s so up tight. She’s like the worst room mate ever. I wish I had a single.


Dear Friends

Dear Friends,
I was just feeling a little shortchanged in this weeks script line ups and was going to post some thoughts. I think because i typecast myself as the DJ which is what i enjoy doing the most so far i was forgotten about during script writing. I would like to inform you all that I actually am a good actor, with voice talents and funniness. Yes i am aware that funniness is not a word, i made it up to suit my needs, i do that, im a word makerupper. theres another one. But anyhoo i just wanted to remind peeps that i can act pretty well and can do a lot of accents and was hoping maybe just maybe i could have a part in a few more scripts each week.
Lots of love and respect,
Richard Lee Ford I

final for Iraq

Iraq 2

(sound of trucks moving)

(volume of truck lowered, but still playing)

Murphy: So what’s your name?

Jack: Specialist Jack Johnson, This is my older brother Corporal Wayne Johnson..

Murphy: Brothers? Never seen that yet, two brothers in the same squad. What was your name again, Wayne?

Wayne: Yes, Private First class…

Murphy: You don’t have to announce yourself with your rank, your sleeve already tells me that. My name is Sargent Bartolemule Murphy, just call me Murphy.

Philip: and I’m Staff Sargent Philip Brown. Just call me Philness.

Wayne and Murphy (at same time): Philness?

Murphy: Why did you just give yourself a nick name?

Philip: why are you asking so many questions?

Murphy: Permission to speak openly

Philip: Permission grant…

Murphy: that is the stupidest nick name I have ever, Ever heard.

Philip: You know that’s grounds for court martial.

Murphy: Under what charges

Philip: For not agreeing that philness is the awsomeest nick name ever.

Jack: Awesomeest?

Philip: yes awesomeest.

Murphy: Philness and awesomeest in the same sentence. (chuckle) How ever did you ever get your degree?

Philip: Your guess is as good as mine.

Wayne: (chuckles)

Philip: (chuckle) Anyway, How did you two get in to military?

Wayne: Well, I joined about 4 years ago. I didn’t have enough money to get into a college, or so I believed, and after basic and advanced training, I went straight here to Iraq. I spent most of my time near Baghdad, but this is the first time I’m actually leaving the Baghdad area. Every time I get back into the states, I take one or two class at the local community college.

Murphy: How many credits do you have so far?

Wayne: None, Everytime I take a class, my unit would get pulled back here to Iraq.

Philip: really? You should have taken the ROTC program, they would paid the rest of your college.

Wayne: Yeah I know, but apparently my guidance counselor decided to forget about that little program and suggested I join immediately.

Jack: I wanted to kick her ass after I learned about that program too.

Murphy: Hmm? You had the same guidance Counselor?

Jack: Yeah, we went to the same high school.

Philip: So What’s Your story.

Jack: Almost a mirror image of his. Literally the same story. Same guidance counselor too.

Murphy: You think you would have learned from what your brother did.

Jack: We had a bad guidance counselor.

Philip: How did you guys get assigned to the same squad?

Wayne: Chance, coincidence, divine intervention, who knows.

Philip: Interesting.

(sound of trunk stopping)

Murphy: Whats going on?

Philip: I don’t know, Let me go check it out.

(sound of footsteps, then a flap of a tarp moving, then jumping on to the floor)

Jack: What could it be?

Wayne: I don’t know.

(Sound of tarp moving)

Philip: Someone spotted a few possible IDE’s up in the road. Their going to check it out, Just hang here for a bit. Keeps your ears open though, 9 times out of 10 it isn’t, but there is a chance it a decoy for an ambush. The other 8 times out of 10 it a regular IDE. The worst is if the IDE is remote detonated, leading to an ambush. So cock your guns just in case.

(sound of tarp moving)

(sounds of guns cocking)

Jack: Those IDE’s are really really starting to piss me.

Murphy: They already haven’t? I lost a few good men, and two buddies to those damn things.

(background yelling, ”I need a Demolition crew.”)

Jack: I lost one of my best friend to one of those, but I guess I’ve gotten cold since then.

Wayne: Zatch, Was it? I remember that kid. I always knew he never give me back that hundred bucks I loaned him for that concert ticket. Heh.

(tarp moves)

Philip: Jack. What do you specialize in?

Jack: Demolition sir, why do you ask?

Philip: They need you up to the front to take out a couple of those IDE’s.

Jack: Big boom coming right.

(sound of footsteps, then a flap of a tarp moving, then jumping on to the floor)

Murphy: Why did he choose to be specialist in demolition?

Wayne: Well, He always liked big explosion, ever since he was a littler kid. Once he put 10 to 15 fire crackers right next to each in a big bunched up group, Poured gasoline over it, took 3 soup campbell’s soup cans, filled them up with gasoline as well, and shot it with a flaming potato through a potato gun. All that just because he stepped on an ant hill, and he wanted revenge.

Murphy: Jeez, sounds we have a pyromaniac on our hands.

Wayne: He’s not a pyromaniac, He just likes blowing crap up, if it catches on fire, that’s just a byproduct of the explosive he’s using.

Murphy: Wow, That kid is end losing an arm and a leg on da(y)…

(loud explosion)

Wayne: Hope that was the IDE’s

Murphy: I’ll check it out.

(sound of foot steps and tarp moving)

(Sound of bullets muffled and body falling)

Wayne: Ah Crap!!!

(sound of another explosion)

(sounds of bullets continuously till end of script)

(sound of footsteps and dragging of body)

Wayne: Murphy!! Murphy!!! (pause) (sigh) damn.

(sound of foot steps and tarp moving)

(Sounds of bullets louder)

(Sounds of order shouting in the background)

Philip: WAYNE!!!!

Wayne: Phil?

(sound of running foot steps)

Wayne: What happened?

Philip: (Strained, slightly in pain)Your brother was putting the explosive around the IDE when a rockets came zooming at him. Then They started to open fire on us.

Wayne: You’ve been hit in the leg. MEDIC!!! MEDIC!!! A medic should be here in a bit, I got to go find my brother.

(sound of Footsteps running)

(sound of rockets passing by)

Jack: (in pain)Arrrgghh

Wayne: Ah god dammit, (sound of moving metal object) Jack! Jack!

Jack: Oh God!! Oh god!! My arm, what a happened to my arm (scream of pain) Oh god! (yelling)Where the hell is my leg!!! I CANT FEEL ANYTHING, GOD(keep repeating “Oh god, oh god” till end of skit)

Being said at the same time

Wayne: Your Gonna be alright just calm down, Jack Jack Your gonna- your gonna be alright MEDIC!!!! Your Gonna be alright, Your gonna be al…MEDIC!!!!! CAN I GET A MEDIC HERE!!!!(Keep repeating “Your gonna be alright, your gonna be alright” till end of skit)


can someone who knows how to put stuff on the r drive come help me??


Facebook Script- FINAL

Facebook Script written by Johnny Anderson, Adrian Cohn and Eric Cohen.

Cast, Please print your scripts!!!!! and practice!

Johnny as Johnny

Amanda as Amanda

Adrian as Adrian

Dr. Boles as Dr. Boles

Nate as Nate


Johnny: Goodevening, I’m Johnny Anderson. Thank you for listening to WPRK 91.5 F.M. Tonight, Adrian Cohn is on the corner of Fairbanks and Park Avenue with an interesting story regarding privacy and how people feel about Facebook.com’s new feature, “News Feed.” We will report to him a little bit later.

ONE SONG PLAYS NOW

Johnny: Okay, we are going live now to Adrian Cohn on Fairbanks and Park Avenue. Adrian, can you hear me?

Adrian: Yes Johnny, loud and clear!

Johnny: So what is faceboook.com?

Adrian: Facebook.com is a way of meeting and communicating with fellow students and friends from different colleges and universities nationwide. And recently a hot topic in the news has been whether or not Facebooks new feature, “news feed,” is too invasive of peoples’ privacy.

Johnny: So you are asking Rollins College students this evening how they feel about “News Feed?”

Adrian: That’s right Johnny. I’ve got a new freshman here with me right now, her name is Amanda. So how do you feel about “News Feed?”

Amanda: I’m appalled by it. As for my personal opinion, I absolutely hate it! It disrupts the look of your whole profile, and it's a little invasive as far as personal privacy goes.

Adrian: What sort of things have you seen that deem “News Feed” as you say, “invasive?”

Amanda: Well, when I go on facebook now, instead of seeing my profile, I see a huge list of recent activity of my friends’ profiles. Before I left my room to go into town tonight, I saw that Dan is going to dinner at Beans, Darcy just added a friend whose name is Kyung Won “Kelly” Kim, and that Jen is tying her shoes. Who needs to know everyone’s every move? Who cares if Dan is going to Beans? Who cares if Darcy added a new friend? And I certainly don’t need to know that Jen is tying her shoes. Give me a break!

Adrian: Thank you Amanda for your time. Johnny, back to you.

Johnny: Thank you Adrian. We will be hearing more from him later on tonight.

SONG / SCRIPT INTERMITION

Johnny: Thank you for listening to WPRK 91.5 F.M. This is Darkness Visible Radio. We are going back to Adrian who is reporting live from Fairbanks and Park Avenue.

Adrian: Thank you Johnny, hello again everybody. Joining me here is Nate Fulton, a Rollins College Freshman. Nate, what is your reaction to Facebooks Facelift?

Nate I love the Facelift. Now I can stalk all the girls I want and never get noticed. You know Age? You know how handy it is to know when 10 of your fine female friends change their relationship status when you are their rebound. I love it. I know you do, too. Don’t lie.

Adrian: Excuse me Nate, I’m happily married. I’m glad you’ve found good use. Johnny, back to you.

Johnny: More from Adrian later in the show.

MUSIC / SCRIPT INTERMITION

Johnny: You’re listening to Darkness Visible Radio on WPRK 91.5 F.M. We are going back live to Adrian Cohn for an update on his Facelift report. Adrian, can you hear me?

Hello Adrian?

We must be having some technical difficulties; we get Adrian on the line as soon as possible.

Music

Johnny: Sorry for the technical difficulties, we’ve regained connection with Adrian and he is standing by with the next interview, a professor to my understanding. Is that right Adrian?

Adrian: That’s right Johnny, we are here now with Dr. Boles.

Dr. Boles: It sucks.

Although it is also kind of cool in a voyeuristic way and if you like reality tv, like I like reality tv, then it fits perfectly with the idea of watching and observing people.

Adrian: Thank you Dr. Boles.

This is Adrian Cohn reporting live, back to you Johnny.

Johnny: Thank you Adrian for that informative report on facebook.com. Is facebook.com too invasive? Have they gone too far this time? This is Johnny Anderson, you’ve been listening to a special report from Darkness Visible Radio on WPRK 91.5 F.M. Enjoy the rest of the show.

R DRIVE

PUT YOUR STUFF ON THE R-DRIVE!!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 11, 2006

casts...

PLEASE remember to white a blog with who is what character in your skripts...its saves a lot of time and confusion, so that we don get the whole printing issue all messes up again. Thank you....

Lagoona Bog 3

Lagonna Bog

Last Week on Laguna Bog:

Annabelle: Hey I’d like to introduce y’all to my new boyfriend, Webfoot Willy.

Cletis: Ayuk! [Whispers to Bubba] Whats that about, I thought she was textin you all week!

Bubba: [Whispers] She was! That lil hussy’s playin me for a fool!!! But dang is she fine! What’s she doin with that meat head, just cuz he’s got webbed feet doesn’t mean he’s good lookin, just lucky that’s all!

Webfoot Willy: Y’all talking trash bout me? I’ve got a 12 inch webbed boot to put up your ass if ya wanna rumble!

Bubba: Well sunshine you just picked yourself the wrong red necked, ascot wearin, grizzly wintergreen dippin, gator wrangler to mess with!

[Intro Music}

Cletis: I’m Cletis

Bubba: I’m Bubba

Angel : I’m Angel

Reggie: I’m Reggie

Annabelle: And I’m Annabelle

All: And This Is Lagoona Bog, the Real Orange Swamp County

Cletis: Ayuk, Bubba you sure gave Willy a good ol country ass whoopin!

Bubba: Well he shouldn’t be tryin to play footsie with my honey bunches, he knows me and Annabelle share the same papa, you’d think he could take a hint!

Cletis: Well that idiot isn’t the brightest, I reckon y’all might wanna work stuff out, roughin around with Willy isn’t a bright idea.

Bubba: I agree, well hell I’ll give it some thought, but first, I just got these new fireworks lets go blow some shit up!!!!

Cletis: SKEEEWIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the other side of the swamp…

Angel: Dang Annabelle, what were you thinking leadin on both Willy and Cletis?

Annabelle: I dunno, something bout both of em just gets me all hot and bothered, like when you hear rock music and motorcycles and Copenhagen?

Angel: Well I know what that’s all about, but you gotta think about what yer doin! Ya can’t go around messin with both guys hearts! I know Willy only has half a heart cuz of his momma sleepin with a donkey and what not, but it still feels the same to him!

Annabelle: Here comes Jessie, she knows Cletis pretty well, maybe she has an idea of who I should go for.

Jessie: Hey y’all, whats shakin?

Angel: Annabelle’s in a pickle and a half! She don’t know who to get with, either Bubba or Willy… what do ya think?

Jessie: Well Willy’s got those sexy webbed feet, but Bubba can pack a whole tin of dip in his mouth and still kiss like a champ… so I guess I’m sorta torn! Dang Annabelle I’m glad I’m not in the tussle you’re in!

Annabelle: Awwww I don’t know what to dooooooo!!!!!! Angel hand me that moonshine, that’s the medicine I need!

Angel: Aw girl, we’re outta moonshine but we’ve got Grey Goose and Cristal?

Annabelle: Well pass me that Cris baby girl!

Jessie: Well hey y’all I’m headin out, Reggie just got the sidekick 3 and he’s gonna show it off at his beach party tonight. Y’all comin?

Angel: Well we’ll see… hopefully Annabelle won’t get too sloppy…

Annabelle: [Belches] ‘Scuze me!

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