Friday, September 29, 2006

Jamaican script thus far

Hey all....
cast thus far:

eric
walker
adrian
waitress *undecided - can anyone do a new york accent and talk quickly?

Status: incomplete- i have many good ideas.


here it is..

Jamaican Script

Jamaican goes to order food in a New York City dinner.

Narrator: A Jamaican goes to eat at a dinner in New York City...

Sound of dishes clashing in background / people talking / some people yelling food orders at cued parts

Waitress: What do you want to eat?

Jamaican: me want chaklit cake with nuff icening.

Waitress: we don’t have that, desserts are on the back

Jamaican: how you not have chaklit cake.

Waitress: we just…

Jamaican: with nuff icening.

ERIC: When waitress begins to say cheese cake, you yell in background, “One order of bacon burnt to a crisp, two eggs over easy, 3 orders of pancakes. Let me get two coffees [W/ NEW YORK ACCENT] and make it quick!” ERIC: say this ‘behind’ the dialogue. I will explain later.

Waitress: We’ve got carrot cake, cheese cake and apple pie.

Jamaican: Me want chaklit cake with nuff icening.

Waitress: What are you?

Jamaican: … I’m jamaican.

Waitress: Well we don’t got no “chaklit cake with nuff icening” so move it or lose it.

Jamaican: No badda mi. You’ve got no chaklit cake.

Waitress: I’m sorry... [sir]

Jamaican: bredda!

Walker: That test sucked.

Jamaican: Boy! I thought that test would have been easy man.

Walker: Me too. What are you gettin?

Jamaican: Me want chaklit cake, but she say they not got any.

Walker: No chocolate cake!? And you call this a dinner?

Waitress: We have carrot cake, cheese cake and apple pie.

Walker: How do you not have chocolate cake?

Waitress: Look, we don’t have any chocolate cake!

Jamaican: girl, Me want to speak with your manager.

Waitress: One moment.

Waitress walks away

Walker: How can they not have chocolate cake?

Jamaican: You tellin me man… all me want is some chaklit cake man.

Walker: So when do you go back to work?

Jamaican: Mi a-go back to work on chewsay.

Hollywood News

Hollywood News- if anyone wants to edit this they can, this is the first draft


Bob: Hi, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am Bob Hewitt, coming to you live from Darkness Visible Radio, at Rollins College. Tonight we have a few pieces of Hollywood news, and updates. We all know a lot going on in the world of Hollywood! Whose with whom, who did what, and who did who! Here is Ann Taylor with your news.


Ann: Good evening, first, our lovely Brad Pitt, beau of Angelina Jolie is forcing Angelina to have another baby? He claims that he wants a boy, a biological boy. Will Angelina give in to the gorgeous historical Brad Pitt or will she stand up to be the powerful stubborn women we all know her as today. Find out more on Brangolina soon!

Ann: Next, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are still going strong! They have been together for a year now and Ashton, in an interview on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, states that Demi and he barely ever fight; if they ever do have problems then they talk it over so no fight goes too far. Sounds like a good strategy, huh Bob.

Bob: Yes it does Ann, Yes it does. Looks like it wasn’t such an outrageous relationship after all.


(They laugh)

Ann: Now we are on to upcoming movies. Strange enough, Kristin Cavallari is staring as a popular girl, president of her sorority, in the remake of Revenge of the Nerds. She will be the star cheerleader, hazing the nerds, and showing off her looks and curves to Hollywood.

Bob: Can’t wait till I see that one.

Ann: I am sure you can’t Bob.

(They laugh)

Ann: And finally here tonight, we have an update of the tension between Lindsey Lohan and Harry Morton. A few weeks early Morton tells that the two were quote on a break. More recently while Lindsey was surrounded by paparazzi was asked if she is still seeing Morton, and she calmly answers yes. Who could be lying in this relationship? Lindsey’s past has not been the cleanest when it comes to telling the truth. Why would Harry Morton lie about his already public relationship? Stay tuned until next week.
Thank you for tuning in and have a great night. Back to you Bob


Bob: Ahhh yes, Ann. Well there is your Hollywood gossip for you, We’ll see you next week on, Darkness Visible Radio, Have a great night.

everyone i in my skit.....so read it and print your own copy

Hey,
ok here is the deal with this skit...almost everyone is in it, so please print copy for yourself. also, it takes a lot of acting and voice chnages in some parts....so please please please read it though first. It will go a lot better if you read it thought. pease...do it for me. Thank you

Carolina :)

detective making skit (dont know a better name)

Detective Making Skit

JJ: Detective and JJ Detective- (do not use acting voice. Be normal)
Walker: Cleatus, Jack-(Always in character), and some sound effects at the end
Sarah: Mrs. Hamby
Seth: Director
Lili: Lili
Josi: Missy and Josi- Missy (not in character, just normal voice)
Eric: Vinny
John: Sheriff and some sound effects
Professor Boles: Assistant
Nate: Abul
Singers: Lili, Josi, Johnny, Sarah, Amanda, Carolina, Rich, Nate

(Music plays for 15 seconds before show, then fades away)

(Knocking)
Mrs. Hamby: (In a crying voice) Hello, Detective Larson. Thank you.
Detective: Have a seat.
Detective Voice: She was young. Barely in her twenties. I could tell she had been crying all night. Her black dress was askew, her hair was a mess, she looked as though she hadn’t slept in days. I felt for her.
Detective: How can I help you Mrs. Hamby?
Mrs. Hamby: Well, you see, detective… It’s my husband. He’s dead.
Director: CUT! Mrs. Hamby where is the emotion.
Mrs. Hamby: what do you mean director?
Director: I need emotion! You husband is dead. It’s something horrible, yet surprising. Let me hear it…horrible with an essence of surprise.
Mrs. Hamby: Ok I’ll try. How’s this… (more dramatic) He’s DEAD!
Director: Perfect! Yes, that will do. Let’s move on from there. Lights, camera, ACTION!
Mrs. Hamby (dramatic, like before) He’s DEAD!
Detective: How dead is he?
Mrs. Hamby: What do you mean? He’s dead. Cold dead. He was murdered.
Detective: How do you know he was murdered?
Mrs. Hamby: (no emotion) I just know. He was poisoned. I’m sure of it. Oh! His face! I can still see his pale face in my memory.
Director: CUT! CUT! CUT! That was all wrong. Mrs. Hamby! Where is that emotion again! Let’s try it again from Detective Larson’s last line. Lights… Camera…Action!!!
Detective: How do you know he was murdered?
Mrs. Hamby: I just know. He was poisoned. I’m sure of it. I can still see his pale face in my memory.
Director: CUT! What was that! That wasn’t even the line.
Mrs. Hamby: It wasn’t?
Director: No, it wasn’t. We have been trying to get through this scene for the last four hours….Why don’t you get it! And where is my frappochino! I need me frappochino. Does not one in here work anymore. I’m surrounded by incompetents. Let’s move on to another scene. Mrs. Hamby, I don’t want to see you until you get this right, if not then you fired. Fired from here and any other half-decent payin gig in this town. Let’s go to the scene four with Vinny and Detective Larson at the Rat House bar. ACTION!
Detective’s Voice: Another suspect. And sure enough, Barkeep was right, the old chump. Vinny busted through the door, making everyone’s head turn. The music stopped for a few beats. His mink coat made his fat body look fatter and his small head look miniscule. He slips his usual payment to the manager, Jaques, and makes his way to the back booth. I finish off my drink and headed over. The whisky speeds its way though my veins.
Vinni: Eyyyy! Detctive Larson! How’s your mother?
Detective: Dead. A while ago. Hurricane took her.
Vinni: It happens. Have a seat. Detective, have you met my new man, Abul?
Abul: It is nice to meet you Detective.
Detective: Like wise. Vinny, I’m looking for some information. There’s been a man poisoned. You know anything.
Detective’s voice: I could tell Vinny got the chills, but he’s not the kind of guy to show it. Abul stood still. He was a statue. He wore a brightly colored vest, which unusual in this black suited town.
(PAUSE for 5 seconds…count it in your head)
Director: CUT! What was that? Silence? There is not long pausing in this! VInny! What happened to you line?
Vinny: I forgot my line.
Director: You WHAT!
Vinny: I forgot…
Director: I heard what you said, I just can’t believe it. The line is: Detective, I have heard of no such act until now. Got it?
Vinny: Got it, Director.
Director: Good. Alright. Let’s start from Abul’s line. ACTION!
Abul: It is nice to meet you Detective.
Detective: Like wise. Vinny, I’m looking for some information. There’s been a man poisoned. You know anything.
Detective’s voice: I could tell Vinny got the chills, but he’s not the kind of guy to show it. Abul stood still. He was a statue. He wore a brightly colored vest, which unusual in this black suited town.
Vinny: Detective, I have heard of no such act until now.
Detective: Alright Vinny, I believe you. I hear you new guy is good with chemicals. Maybe he can come by the crime scene and tell me what he can figure.
Vinny: I would like to lend you my services. However, I am a busy man. I have things going on.
Detective: Just keep your ears open. That’s all I ask.
Vinny: Larson, you know I know you are a good man. You have done good work for me in the past. I will inform you if I hear of anything.
Detective: I appreciate it. Good Night.
Vinny: Detective! Who was the sorry son of a bitch?
Director: CUT!
Vinny: Oh, what now!
Director: Can we say that on the air? Assistant! Assistant! Where are you?
Assistant: right behind you, Director.
Director: Oh, Assistant. Didn’t see you there. Can we say that on the air?
Assistant: Yes, director. As long as it is in that phrasing and not derogatory, offensive, or degrading to women, female dogs, or to the public. Oh…well then…your mistake. Carry on. ACTION!
Vinny: Detective! Who was the sorry son of a bitch?
Detective: A Mr. Hamby. You know em?
Vinny: Mr. Hamby… Yeah I know em. He’s done good work for me as well. Shame.
Detective: Yeah. Damn Shame. Pretty little wife too. Good Night Fellas.
Detective’s Voice: Walking away. Seems like that’s what everyone does in this town. Why would a suspect admit they knew the victim? Poison killed Mr. Hamby, and that was Abul’s weapon. It doesn’t make any sense.
Missy: (peppy, happy tone) Hello Detective.
Director: CUT! Missy, I’m not liking your character. Lets try more seductive:
Missy: Sure director, anything for you (sigh)
Director: ACTION!
Detective’s Voice: Walking away. Seems like that’s what everyone does in this town. Why would a suspect admit they knew the victim? Poison killed Mr. Hamby, and that was Abul’s weapon. It doesn’t make any sense.
Missy: (ridiculously deep, dark, dreary tone. Almost pretending to be a man) Hello Detective.
Director: CUT! CUT! That’s defiantly a cut. OK, Missy, well you sound like a man. Lets try it like bore again, but with a more childish curiosity, if you will. ACTION!
Missy: what?
Director: CUT! What? What is what? Why are you asking me what?
Missy: what do you mean by childish curiosity?
Director: you should know. ACTION!
Missy: (undertone, quick sigh then change to happy tone) Hello, Detective.
Director: CUT!
Missy: What now?
Director: that was perfect. ACTION!
Detective: Hello, Missy.
Detective’s Voice: Missy Mayers. A waitress in this sad excuse for a bar. She was a pretty thing. Her hair always done right and her smile made the room shine. We had relations at one point in time. It was short. Too short.
Missy: I’ve missed you Detective. How have ya been?
Detective: I’ve been better. Missy, listen, have you heard about Mr. Hamby’s murder?
Missy: Oh yeah. All the girls from the Cat Club were talking about it when I worked there last night. Peoples are saying he was chopped in a million little pieces. Why would anyone do that? Oh, my goodness.
Detective: Missy! You need to let me know what you know. No messing around.
Missy: Well, I don’t know nothin. But stop by the Cat Club. Those ladies are all talk.
Director: CUT!
JJ Detective: (in normal JJ talk) what the heck! We were on a role!
Director: Oh, (emphasis on the ass) Assistant (quick giggle). I think we need two girls.
Assistant: Two, Mr. director? But that would change the script.
Director: No, but listen. Have the other girl mimic some lines Missy says…(enlightened) but in song…
Assistant: In song?
Director: Yes, mimicking, just like that…but in song. Yes, song! It is genius! I am a genius. Bring in Lili. Lili!
Lili: Yes, Director? Sing for me. You know what to do.
Lili: I do?
Director: You do. Mimic Missy and sing. Just sing your heart out. And Detective Larson, just improve. DO IT! From the top. ACTION!
Missy: Hello Detective.
Lili: (Singing) Hello Detective.
Detective: Hello, girls.
Detective’s Voice: Missy Mayers. A waitress in this sad excuse for a bar. She was a pretty thing. Her hair always done right and her smile made the room shine. We had relations at one point in time. It was short. Too short.
Missy: I’ve missed you Detective. How have ya been?
Lili: (singing) I’ve missed you too, Detective. Probably more than this slut. How have you been?
Detective: I’ve been better. Girls, listen, have you heard about Mr. Hamby’s murder?
Missy: Oh yeah. All the girls from the Cat Club were talking about it when I worked there last night. Peoples are saying he was chopped in a million little pieces. Why would anyone do that? Oh, my goodness.
LIli: (singing) Yeah, what she said. It’s pretty creepy.
Detective: You two need to let me know what you know. No messing around.
Missy: Well, I don’t know nothin. But stop by the Cat Club. Those ladies are all talk.
Lili: Or stop by my place later. The Cat Club girls are all talk.
Detective: Always a pleasure, sweetheart.
Missy: Detective, wait. Ask for Nikita. You know ‘er?
Lili: Detective, do you know Nikita. And if you do, then why are you cheating on me? I saw you checking her out.
JJ Detective: (in regular voice) What the hell Lili?
Lili: (not singing) What the hell with you. I saw you looking at her ass.
Director: CUT!!!!!!! What is going on here people?
Lili: This (condisending tone) Detective Larson has been cheating on me. I just know it. After eight long months, this is how I am repaid.
JJ Detective: There is nothing going on.
Lili: Oh yeah, what about your secretary?
Detective: What are you talking about? You are being ridiculous.
Director: EXCUSE ME! People, if you don’t mind take you relationship crap else where. We are trying to create a radio hit here.
Detective: I’m sorry, director. She is just being needy. I mean ever since I started watching the OC she thinks I pay more attention to Misha Barton than her.
Director: Get out! Both of you, just get out! (Pause) well, actually, I need you in the next scenes. So…um….after the show is over, just get out! And, are you kidding, the OC…really. I mean common man, that’s a little homosexual. Laguna Beach is the real oc. Let’s skip the Cat Club scene…actually…let’s skip it all and go all the way to the end. This is a scene for characters Jack Black, Mrs. Hamby, Detective Larson, and random Sheriff cameo. In this scene, Missy has already been murdered, Vinny confessed to his actions but is innocent, and Jack… where are you Jack?
Jack: (In Jack character) I’m right over here.
Director: Alright, good. You, Jack, earlier, you spoke to Detective Larson and gave him an alibi for Mrs. Hamby, but also putting your name in the clear when you still accused her of still taking part of the murder. In this scene, are hiding in the closet and then come out after Mrs. Hamby confesses to you and her having an affair and paying Vinny to kill of Mr. Hamby in order for you two to run away together with his money. Got that, Jack?
Jack: Um…I thinks…
Director: Good. ACTION!
(Something falls and makes crashing noise)

Detective: What was that?

Jack: It was me.

Detective’s Voice: Ol’ Jack Black. That chump was hiding in the closet as I was getting me confession. Then it hit me. CABO. Jack got his lighter in Cabo, Mrs. Hamby went to Cabo with a lover. Jack is her lover. They wanted Hamby’s money.

Jack: So you have figured it out, have you, Larson?

Detective: Looks like it. I don’t get one thing.

Jack: What that?

Detective: Why did you blame the murder on the wife?

Jack: Well, I didn’t. I said I thought she may be the murderer, just to throws you offs, and then I told you her alibi. It was a perfect alibi, up until you went end sniffed around. You just gone and done the dumbest thing of you life. This isn’t some bar room brawl, these are the all or nothing days. The days that crime rules the street, and peoples will do anything to get ahead. I wanted the money, she had the money, now I am going to have it all. Because, in case you didn’t notice, Detective, Mrs. Hamby and I are now wed, and I have full control of her handlings now that she is dead.

Mrs. Hamby: Jack, darling. (nervous laugh) I’m not dead.

(Walker: Over acted/ Fake Gun Shot) POW POW
Director: CUT! CUT! CUT! (low voice) what was that. Can someone tell me (gradually yells) what the heck that was?! Assistant!
Assistant: Yes, Mr. Director?
Director: Explain to me why we do not have an actual, real sounding gun shot?
Assistant: Tight budget, Mr. Director. We just don’t have the money for those effects.
Director: Oh. Well…um… Let’s move on then. Let’s continue from Mrs. Hamby’s line. ACTION!
Mrs. Hamby: Jack, darling. (nervous laugh) I’m not dead.
(Walker: Over acted/ Fake Gun Shot) POW POW
Jack: Nows you are (evil laugh).

(Walker: Fake Sirens)

Detective Voice: I can hear the sirens. Back up is close. I am going to take this smuck down. I tense.

Jack: Your ganna have to catch me first.

Detective’s Voice: I get angry. Angrier than I have ever been. The blood rushes though my veins. I want this son of a bitches head on a platter.

(Walker: Punching sound)

Detective: (sound of being punch in the stomach) (OOph or arg or something)

Detective’s Voice: Dumb ol’ Jack opens the door. To find Sheriff Paterson and four coppers around me.

Sheriff: Hold it! It’s all over Jack.

Detective’s voice: I can see cold, steel handcuffs being put on Jack’s lanky wrists. I can taste satisfaction. Better than any feeling in the world, even whisky.

Sheriff: You are under arrest for the murder of Mrs. Josi Hamby, assisted murder of Miss. Missy Mayers and Mr. Hamby. You are comin down town.

Cleatus: Excuse me. Is this the casting for the new Laguna Bog?

Director: CUT! Who the hell are you.

Cleatus: I’m CLeatus.

Director: (Calm) Well, hello Cleatus. (Angry) What the hell are you doing in my show?

Cleatus: Them security guards pointed me over this way. I’m looking for the Laguna Bog show. They moved it from last time I was here.

Director: Well it isn’t here!!! Get out!!! OUT, out, out! Assistant, get him out.

Assistant: Yes, Mr. Director. Right this way Cleatus.

Director: oh, I’m getting a head ach. From the top. Action…just Action now.

(Something falls and makes crashing noise)

Detective: What was that?

Jack: It was me.

Detective’s Voice: Ol’ Jack Black. That chump was hiding in the closet as I was getting me confession. Then it hit me. CABO. Jack got his lighter in Cabo, Mrs. Hamby went to Cabo with a lover. Jack is her lover. They wanted Hamby’s money.

Director: CUT!

Detective: What now…

Director: I have just had a revelation. Yes, once again I am a genius. Assistant?

Assistant: (annoyed) Mr. Director, what is it now?

Director: We need more singing again.

Assistant: more singing, I don’t know…

Director: Yes, singing. Let’s improve it! Actors stay in character , but (excited) bring in back up singers. Let’s start from when the sheriff busts in. Yay! this will be fun.... (pause) ACTION!

Sheriff: Hold it! It’s all over Jack.

Singers: Hit the road Jack, and don’t you come back no more, no more, no more, no more, no more. Hit the road jack, don’t you come back no more.

Jack: You cant get me copper.

Singers: Can’t touch this. Da da ta da, ta da, ta da. Can’t touch this.

Detective’s voice: I can see cold, steel handcuffs being put on Jack’s lanky wrists. I can taste satisfaction. Better than any feeling in the world, even whisky.

Singers: Babe, I got you babe. I got you babe. I got you.

Sheriff: You are under arrest for the murder of Mrs. Josi Hamby, assisted murder of Miss. Missy Mayers and Mr. Hamby. You are comin down town.

Singers: Bad boys, bad boys, what you ganna do. What you ganna do when they come for you. Bad boys, bad boys.

Jack: You cant keep me locked up forever coppers. I’ll get a lawyer. And I’ll get out. I’ll get you Larson…(fading away) mark my words, I’ll get you!

Singers: Hey, hey. Bye Bye Bye (Bye Bye Bye). I know that I cant take it no more. It aint no lie, I wanna see you out that door. Baby Bye Bye Bye.

Director: CUT!....that…was… AMAZING! Yes! I am a genus. I am amazing. People said they didn’t think I could do it, but I did. I did it. This show is going to be a hit! Yay! Oh, good job everybody. You can all go now. Assistant! Get me my limo. Get me Spielberg on the phone. And get me my damn frappochino!

(Music plays for 15 seconds)

sorry guys that last post was from me:)
~Madison

It seems that we are really working hard and well to make a good show. I got an update from my dad who listens to the show every week and he said the show improved a great amout from some of the following weeks! I still think we need to practice our scripts a bit more before we go on air. I really liked how the news was both real and fake this week, I think that was a good section to add to our show. Also i think we are doing a better job giving everyone parts in atleast 2 scripts a show. Lets keep up the good work guys!

The Hammer "HEB HAMMER"

Nararator: Once upon a time in a place far, far, away there was a young bar-mitzvah who went by the name Moisha. Young Moisha was an only child raised to be a Jew and he proudly supported his heritage. He was not like the other young Jewsih kids playing with draidles minding there own. Moisha was different. He stood up for his people and fought off evil and ever since that day they called him the Hebrew Hammer.

Hammer: Shabat Shalom mother

Mother: Good morning my angel...

Hammer: So mother whats for breakfast

Mother: Well first off Moisha I cant let you keep living like this... you are a grown man still living with his mother... you know our neighbors the goldstein's there son has already graduated law school and started his own practice

hammer: ma is that really necessary I was working on the JLN (Jewish League of Nations) most wanted list for the people who have created acts against the Jews... isn't that enough

Mother: of course sweat heart but, how about a real career like benjamen goldstein

hammer: ok ma holy moses what about the breakfast allready

mother: breakfast fine dear but after you eat I need you to run some errands for me

hammer: but ma

mother: no if ands buts about it, go to the grocery store and get your bubala the things on the this list

hammer: ok ma love you

mother: bye son have a nice day at the JLN.. oyyy vey is my son ever going to grow up?

jamaican script

Cast: unknown
Status of script: UNFINISHED / Written at 1 in the morning. will be made much much better.




Jamaican goes to order food in a New York City dinner.



Jamaican: ya man, a fe me car.

waitress: Thats a nice car…. What do you want to eat?

Jamaican: me want chaklit cake with nuff icening.

Waitress: we don’t have that, desserts are on the back

Jamaican: how you not have chaklit cake.

Waitress: we just…

Jamaican: with nuff icening.

Waitress: We’ve got carrot cake, and apple pie.

Jamaican: Me want chaklit cake with nuff icening.

Waitress: What are you?

Jamaican: … I’m jamaican.

Waitress: Well we don’t got no “chaklit cake with nuff icening” so move it or lose it.


check out jamaican sayings at this web site: http://www.blues.uab.es/~s_0132/jamai.html

Jackass Number Two Review

Jackass Number Two

Chim Richalds – Serious (Walker)
Dutch Litford – are you kidding? (Johnny)

Chim: Good evening Ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the movie corner in the corner of the radio station! Im Chim Richalds here with my fellow movie reviewer Dutch Litford…

Dutch: Hey…hey guys!

Chim: We have got a fabulous movie for you tonight….it is an inspirational film that will have you on your feet clapping uncontrollably. This film moves you to tears of joy and sadness. It is a movie rich with romance and unforgettable friendships. It is a story of….

Dutch: Are you freakin’ serious your talking about Jackass. This is the movie were they jump in a pit of balls to wrestle with two ginormous pythons. Or were they siphon a beer into one of their anus…that was so romantic. Although, I have to say that I was a bit teary eyed…from laughing hysterically when one of them stuck a leech to his eye.

Chim: Ahh hah… but you have forgotten about the tight friendships on display. The way the characters interact with each other really shows that they are not only a cast, but a team and a family. It is truly a glorious thing.

Dutch: O yeah… I call branding your friend on the butt with a large steel penis as a great showing of companionship.

Chim: It certainly was. It was a symbol of friendship. A reminder of their relationship every time he sees it…what a great way to express themselves.

Dutch: You’re a crazy person! That is a disgraceful act that I would never perform to any of my friends even if they gave me the keys to their brand new mustang GT. It is extremely painful and no human being should ever want to go through that.

Chim: Well if you are looking for an awe inspiring performance then Jackass Number Two is the movie to see. It is an Oscar winning performance on all levels. I give this movie 3 thumbs up and nothing less.

Dutch: And my co- host is an idiot…if you’re looking for a movie to laugh till your stomach hurts and then the next scene is so repulsive you puke up all the popcorn and soda pop you paid 17 dollars and 33 cents for… then that’s the movie for you.

Chim: Well it has been a wonderful night at the movie corner I would like to thank all the people that made it possible for Dutch and I to review such a phenomenal film. Good riddance.

Quips, Quotes, and Quarelsome Notes

By Sarah Tanyhill, Amanda Moreno and Carolina Mishaan

This is a call-in radio show where listeners call in for advice on random things. The host will be J.J. He will sound very mysterious and monotone, a lot like “Wisdom” in Jenny’s Date. There will be random commercial breaks for sponsors of the show, and they will be for random, sometimes bizarre products. And the commercials will be hosted by Rich, who will be insanely hyper like he was in the Drug script.

CAST
Mr. Q = J.J.
Doctor = Rich
Caller #1 = Nate
Caller #2 = Amanda
Caller #3 = Sarah

Doctor: Welcome back to another episode of “Quips, Quotes, and Quarrelsome Notes,” we have the all-wise, all knowing, Mr. Q. ready to enlighten your lives with advice that probably won’t help you at all. Caller number one- what have you got for us tonight?

Caller #1: The past few days I’ve noticed a really odd infection- or something growing on my arm. It’s in the shape of the bodacious Dolly Parton and it seems to be getting worse as we speak. It his all started when I listen to country music for the first time last week-- Shania Twain’s “I feel like a woman” . . .Now that I think about it, I can’t get that song out of my head!

( Starts singing country music)

Caller #!: Oh my god! I’m practically possessed! What should I do about all this? Does it mean I am destined to be a country star? Am I a long lost relative of Dolly Parton’s? Am I a lost cause? You’ve gotta help me! I need some answers!

Mr. Q: Deep water and drowning don’t mean the same thing unless your dead.

Caller 1; Am I going to die?

Mr. Q; One potato two potato three potato, four. Five potato six potato seven potato more.

Caller 1; Excuse me.

Mr. Q; Why milk the cow when you can eat pizza?

Caller; Are you hungry or something, I got a real problem here.

Mr. Q; God built the world in six days but people still can’t believe it’s not butter.

(Commercial Break)

Doctor: We’ve got a great new product for all you die hard Hanson fans out there! It’s Mm- Pop, the deviously crisp new soda pop with as much flavor as there music had. . .five years ago. This sensational drink is so tantalizing to the taste buds it will feel as if the Hanson girls- I mean guys- are in your mouth. OH Yes, and for that 1% of the population that love Hanson- this amazing offer is not over yet. For just one nickel more you can have your own private Hanson concert. So you can have your hear mm bop while you drink your mm pop. The number is 555-555-5555. Once again the number is 555-555-5555. Call now, and now back to the show. Caller number two your on the line.

Caller 2; Hello Mr. Q. What does the Q stand for.

Mr. Q; People that live in glass houses shouldn’t ask stupid questions.

Caller 2; Uh

Mr. Q; If you teach a man to fish, who’s steering the boat?

Caller 2; Like what?

Mr. Q; If you can’t see the big picture, change the channel.

Doctor; Next caller your on the line.

Caller 3; Hey there umm. I have a really big problem. I borrowed my sisters diamond earrings
and then it fell down the drain in my teachers house while I was stealing answer for a the exam. Should I go back to my teachers’ house? Should I fake an armed robbery? Should I tell my sister the truth.

Mr. Q; When life gives you lemons, who gives you thirst?

Caller 3; Should I give her lemons?

Mr. Q; Why make lemonade, when you can make orange juice?

Caller 3; What?

Mr. Q; Forgiveness is Divine, patience is everlasting. If your laying down and watching T.V is
that multitasking?

Caller 3; Wait, who?

Mr. Q; When in Rome don’t drink the water.

Doctor; It’s time for another commercial break? Are tired of everyone calling you little Ms
sunshine? Is life too shiny and bright for you? Are you tired of looking at a glass as half full? From the makers of prozac when bring you nozac. This pill puts the un in unhappy. These pills are only 18.95 a bottle. If you call now will give you million dollar baby on tape. The number is 555- 555-5555. Again that number is 555-555-5555. Let the makers up prozac help you turn that smile upside down. That’s the end of are show join us next week, and remember we don’t care.

Jesus's Second coming????

Jesus’s second coming? BS!!!!

Jesus-Me, Yeah Damn straight I'm jesus

God-J.J.

Guy 1-Eric

Guy 2-Nate

Girl 1-Sarah

Girl 2-Carolina

Girl 3-LiLy

Narrator- Seth

God-My son, Jesus, it is time for you to return to Earth. It is once again ravaged by sin, and once again, mankind needs to be saved from the burning drenches of hell, and come to salvation.

Jesus- Yes, My father, I will do as you say. For I love them, It will pain me to see them not come to heaven.

(monk-esque singing with fake latin lyrics)

Narrator: And Now Jesus returns to Earth to bring mankind to salvation.

Guy 1: So as I was in the bar talking to this girl, some random guy says, “Hey, seats taken,” and I say Oh really, I don’t see you name on it. Then suddenly He hits me in the face with a lead pipe, drags me out side, and begins to beat the living pulp out me.

Girl 1: Oh my god, so what did you?

Guy 1: Well, I couldn’t let him do that to me, so grabbed a this 2 by 4 that was next to me and I hit him with it. Then suddenly, he runs away crying like a little girl, waaaa, waaaa.

Girl 1: wow, you are so brave. Hey I need to go to the little girl’s room for the moment. Be right back. When I get back, maybe we can go back to my place.(cute laugh)

Guy 1: He He He

Guy 2: You tell the same exact story every time and the girls keep falling for it.

Guy 1: the secret is you gotta find one of them blonde girls, they’re more gullible then a 12 year old girl in R. Kelly’s recording studio.

(monk-esque singing with fake latin lyrics)

Guy 2: What was that???

Guy 1: I don’t know??

( more monk-esque singing with fake latin lyrics)

Jesus: It is I, the Lamb of God, The son of the Heavenly Father. That woman is married, and so are you. It is a sin my child to commit adultery. The only way to be saved is…

Guy 1: Excuse me, but before you that lady comes back, I suggest you leave before she hears your evangelical hoolgans.

Guy 2: Hey what are you wearing?

Jesus: Do you not recognize me? For I am Jesus, the son of the heavenly Father.

Guy 2: (on the side) he um…I think we got a wack job talking to us.

Guy 1: Did you say your name was Jesus?

Jesus: Yes, the Lamb of God, It is a sin to commit Adultery. You are giving in to Lust, that is a mortal sin.

Guy 1: Hey, look Jesus(pronounce it hey zeus) I don’t need some crazy guy, who dressed up in costume a little early for Halloween, which I might add looks terrible, Jesus wouldn’t dress that bad, to tell me who to and more importantly, who not to sleep with. Okay.

Guy 2: Yeah, so Get out, or I’ll Make you get it.

Jesus: Your aggression is not need, But your soul and covered with sin and

Guy 2: Alright that’s it.

Jesus: Hey what are you doing?

(sound of scuffle)

Jesus: AHH!!

(splash of mud)

Guy 1: Get outta here you creep.

Guy 2: Yeah and say out.

Jesus: wow, this salvation thing is going to be harder than last time.

Narrator: Jesus has hit a little snafu there, but he keeps on truckin’

(monk-esque singing with fake latin lyrics)

Girl 2: what did you get on your final?

Girl 3: I got 90. Good thing I decided to take that cheat sheet you gave me. The questions were so hard. I would have never figured out on my own. How did you get the questions in the first place?

Girl 2: I bribed one of the security guards to let me in to the building and to look away. A measly 200 dollars for a passing isn’t that bad.

Girl 3: So how did you answer the questions before the test? You know less about this subject than I do. You never even opened the textbook.

Girl 2: Well, I had to sleep with one of the upper classman to get him to answer the questions. I think is name was something like Jeff Connerson

Girl 3: WHAT!!!! THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND!!! I’VE BEEN GOING OUT WITH HIM FOR A WEEK. I’M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!

Girl 2: What!!! I didn’t know I swear!!!

Girl 3: AHHHHHH!!

(monk-esque singing with fake latin lyrics)

Girl 2: What was that?

Jesus: It is I, Jesus, the Lamb of God, The son of the Heavenly Father.



This Is were I got writer's block. Help through comments would be nice.


Thursday, September 28, 2006

Class in the Pod

Class in the pod.. y'all better have scripts. And Rollins gear.

Adrian! Haha.. I was just sharing that Yoda quote with a friend of mine the other day! Oh, the insanity...

LISTEN UP!

Let's not dwell on the past but, move into the future. Last weeks show was just ok. We can get to the professional level if the scripts that were due on friday are actually on the blog by friday morning. I want to see tuesdays show done like a professional. I not only have faith in the team but the effort we are willing to put into this.

p.s. Seth Lilly dont mess it up

CEO OUT

sept. 26th show

good stuff.


we had some great material and we had a good time. Next week we will be just as successful if we have a bunch of good scripts and if we all enjoy what we do. we will be successful if we are having FUN. make the best of what we've got. we've got two hours on air on a radio station. think about that.


it's pretty cool.

as yoda would say, "Do or do not. There is no try."

Let's do it.



see ya'll tomorrow

-adrian

I can't wait till next week

Good class on Wed. I think that we got a lot of good ideas churning. I hope that you can bring a bunch of material in on friday to throw around. I think one of the best parts of this class is that if you can bring a script in early (or at least before the show on tuesday) twelve other kids can read it and comment on it and help make it better. It's like going to TJ's and it makes everyone more confident with the scripts.

I know that schools going to get busy soon so set aside time to write. Sometimes with longer vague assingments i put them off too long, but if you pencil a little time in every once in a while, it will really help out. Keep on top of your school work and keep up the good work in class!

Don't drink milk before class on friday. I want all of your voices to be clear and vibrant.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

hey everyone. that show last night was way better than the past few we have had...so we are getting there. anyways, i agree with johnny that we have to read the skripts before hand, even if it during another skript before you go on air, just read though it a little. that will also make us sound more enerized and everything flow better. also, the first person to speak needs to know when to speak...we need some kind of universal signal from the both, maybe putting your hand up and couting down using your fingers. having two dj's instead of one was also an advantage, sarah and i were never really stressed about running from one room to another and the music flowed a little better. the only thing i do reacomend is that if you pick out a cd and dive it to the dj, put s note on it that says what number so that they do not have to go looking for you! that was annoying.
great job last night and keep up the awsome skripts. we had such a good amount of skripts!!!

yay!!!

sept 26 show

i think this show was the funniest one yet eventhough we had some problems in some of the scripts. Might not have been the best in the organization aspect but i still believe it was our best show. The arnold skit was obviously good and the game shows where everyone participates is always one of our best scripts of the show. One we have to do is get in more familiarity with our scripts because it is easy to get lost otherwise.

september 26th show

Last nights show was not too bad. I agree with stepping the energy level up a bit. The scripts we are writing are funny, so we need to read them ahead of time so we can eliminate all the laughing. Reading ahead of time would also help eliminate the monotone voice of reading directly from the script. The scripts were awesome but we still need to cast people earlier to completly eliminate the monotone voice and so people can get in character. We definitely need more arnold and some disney tunes!

Johnny

Reminders! = )

A few reminders:

All right, that's all for now! Good discussion and ideas in class today! It's on you to follow through with some of the things that were put out there, and I think y'all can do it! = ) Don't forget to comment on people's scripts on the blog. See ya Friday!


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

some positive reinforcement = )

Wow! I've never seen so many scripts over a three day period! You guys are doing great getting those scripts posted on the blog, and then uploading revised scripts as well! The writing quality has gone up as well, and it's good to see the show incorporate some new aspects like the news, and ideas for skits that weren't considered until now. All in all, you're doing a fabulous job, and I think you're well on your way to raising the bar for yourselves. Good job!

Peer Mentor Love,
Lily

Arnolds first movie review many more to come

Arnold movie review
Arnold = Rich
A: Hello, and welcome to Arnolds movie review corner, I am Arnold and this is my movie review corner. Not yours, not Stallones, not Jesse Venturas, but mine. I am Arnold and people know me. I saw the Little Miss of the Sunshine this weekend because I heard it was Sylvesters new movie where he has to battle the sun and global warming in project little miss. I got excited, I was wrong. Its really that 40 year old virgin Steve Carell. 40 years old and a virgin. Ha ha ha ha. Arnold has not been virgin since he was 14 and could only bench 225. I was bodybuilding champ of Austria then and was Mr. Teen Olympia. I was hailed as the Greek god Hercules and had more ladies then Jean Claude Van Dame after Bloodsport. Which I was offered by the way, I said no because I could not do a split kick and I didn’t think it was believable that a man of my size, vascularity and size could possibly be a convincing under dog. So I made Commando instead. You remember that one dontchu. They take my daughter and tell me to do a job and I tell them I will but I really just want to kill everyone and I do that instead. That was a good one yaaa. That was when I could bench a world war 2 panzer tank and I run through the first seen of the movie carrying an actual redwood tree over my should using just my enormous right bicep the thing nobody knows about that was, we couldn’t find a real redwood so I asked the set designer to just make me one of off cement. So instea of being a standard 400 pound redwood I was carrying a 650 pound cement pole painted to look like a redwood rwah. Steve Carell is in a Volkswagen van and he cant get it to move so it takes 6 people to move the van. Virgin! I could move that van with my left arm like I did in Mr. Olympia in 76. In 82 I moved a caterpillar bulldozer with the hand brake pulled up with just my right arm. But then again I wasn’t a virgin and I ate the equivalent of a north Alaskan moose in protein everyday. The movie was not good. I was not entertained. While I was but only because the kids in the theater and their moms good not get enough of the Govenator. We need more fire! I signed the caps for the kiddies and hugged the moms for the Arnold. RWAH I love the ladies. I don’t like action less movies, this was an action less movie, so I don’t like the action less movie. I like movies that balance warm fluffy bunny scenes with spinal cord snapping action scenes, I like movies like my, The Last Action Hero or Terminator or Terminator 2 or even Terminator 3 where the Terminator meets the other sexy female Terminator and has to girl her but cant because she has so many upgrades so he figures out a way to kill her with the help of John Connor who repeatedly needs to GET DOWN and GET DOWN AGAIN because the she-terminator launches the missiles at the John Connor and he is not missile proof like me the Terminator who can in real life bench press a live nuclear missile that is the kind of fun the Govenator expects from a family film, not being stuck in a family van with a family virgin who doesn’t have the kids because he doesn’t have the sex. RWAH this has been the Arnold with the Arnold movie review corner. And remember when you wonder what Arnold eats for breakfast. I eat Green Berets for Breakfast.

laundry talk

by johnny, amanda, carolina

Girl 1: Amber (Maddy)
Girl 2: Becca (Carolina)
Girl 3: Kylie (Amanda)
Gay Guy: Steven (Johnny)

Amber: Heeellooo Listeners! And welcome to tonight’s laundry talk, the show that informs you on current topics domestic and around the world. Hi I am Amber and joining me here tonight is Becca,

Becca: Glad your listening

Amber: Steven,

Steven: Hi all you cute boys

Amber: and Kylie

Kylie: Hi all you cute puppies.

Amber: Now lets begin with praying to the One and Only Lindsay Lohan!

EVERYONE: (scream) LINDSAY LOHAN!

Becca: O my gosh you are so right!

Amber: I know! (with attitude)

Amber: The wise and great Lindsay Lohan you lead a life of purities…Pure of carbs, small breasts, and natural hair color. Please lead us to be the girls everyone wants to be and every guy wants to be with. Amen.

All: AMEN

Becca: Now that we have that out of the way, lets get to our first topic. Or beloved Spinach. As you may have heard, reaserchers found deadly E-coli in a batch of Spinach near San Fransisco which is one of our main sourses for spinach in our beloved country.

Kylie: doesn’t e-coli make you pretty?

Steven: No Kylie! E-coli causes kidney failure with symptoms of abdominal cramps or diarrhea. It has hospitalized many and taken the lives of three people since the outbreak has occurred.

Amber: Uhh ohhh this is not good! I have been having abdominal cramps and diarrhea for the past weak maybe the E-coli bacteria is going to take me as its victim!

Steven: Amber get a grip on yourself! You take laxatives.

Kylie: I just found out that laxatives aren’t good for you, so I switched to organic laxatives.

Becca: So in more interesting news the marvelous Lindsay Lohan is going through a rough time with the break up of her recent boyfriend Harry Morton.

Amber: What a sleaze ball who would ever not want the beautiful, gorgeous, and amzing Lindsay Lohan.

Kylie: I know… I would go lesbian to have her.

Steven: So would I!

Becca: People magazine like totally says “no one 'dumped' anyone. You don't dump people when you're 20 and 25. You have a mature relationship, and you take a break and you see what happens. Everyone does that."

Kylie: Billy and I are on a break.

Steven: Kylie… Billy is cheating on you!

Kylie: Ooo

Amber: Harry Morton is like such a punk! He broke her heart when she was going through a mid life crisis. She just lost her purse in the London airport, and then she broke her wrist. He is such an inconsiderate jerk.


Becca: So now like on to our next topic…it comes from Clearwater, Florida where Winter, a bottlenose dolphin lost her tail after getting tangled in the buoy line of a crab trap. Marine scientists found Winter with a rounded stump instead of a natural dorsal fin. Forcing Winter to move with a side to side motion resembling an alligator or a shark. Marine biologists are working on a prosthetic fin making it the second in the world for a dolphin. Earlier in the year Japan biologists made one for a dolphin that only had parts of it’s tail missing, and now it is doing fine.

Amber: Like all of us here at laundry talk wish you luck with your new fin, Winter!

Kylie: Dolphins are really cute, but not as cute as puppies.

Steven: Well that’s all we have for you tonight on Laundry talk…Kylie has finally finished her 5 loads of clothes and we need our beauty rest. Thanks for listening and have a wonderful night!

PRES

Eric Cohen
Hypothetical meeting between pres bush and Iranian pres

Pres Bush: Walker
Pres Iran: Nate

Pres Bush: President Ahmanjedad I am the president of the United States of America

Pres Iran: President Bush I think that you are a bitzlamabad and youre policies are shlinkud

Pres bush: Thank you… (asking a secret service agent) found out what that means

Pres Iran: Now I understand you don’t believe in me harboring of terrorists

Pres Bush: Correct.. I see a future for the middle east where isreal takes control because they understand you scratch my back and I scratch your relationship

Pres Iran: that talk is insanity my terrorists are very good political people they support my presidency and donate millions

Pres bush: Well in America we have corporations that donate money under the table so then I can be serious about politics and kill my people

Pres Iran: hmmm… you do not understand the middle east get your wasspyy gutzahhshalab out of our region of the world

Pres Bush: I am the only police force of the world Ill do what I want if you don’t bend over and give it to me

Pres Iran: your just a bully trying to spread catholisism

Pres bush: not true I support Isreal as an independent state

Pres Iran: Only because they donate money to the government

Pres bush: That’s how the cookie crumbles mr. president

Pres Iran: well im going to build my nukes

Pres bush: Ill have to bomb you with my nukes first

Pres Iran: I dare you you big bully

Pres Bush: Its on like donkey kong… get congress together tell them that Iran just sent a nuke at us but, we exploded it… meanwhile I want you to explode a nuke over the ocean and make it seem like it was iran. Got it. Its all about developing fear in the eyes of the people and my rating will go through the roof agai…… hahahahahah

date game cast

amanda, rich, eric, jj, nate, walker

daTE GAME

Barchloret
By: Carolina, Amanda and Sarah
Announcer; Alright settle down, settle down, he puts the oo cool. The zing in amazing. He’s the original slick rick. Give it up for the incredible Rick Forward.
(Audience applauds)
Rick; Hello Heidi
Heidi; Hey there Rick.
Rick; Hello America and welcome to the dating game. Where we meet the contestants from all different walks of life. People who are ready for a committed relationship, to commit relations, or just need to be committed. You never know with this show. Today on the show, we have three handsome bachelors trying to win the heart of this lovely bacheloret. Trick is, they will not be able to officially meet until after our bachloret makes a decision. And now, for our bachlorette. All the way from Nashville, Tennesee, we have an aspiring singer/waitress, Lianne Mitchell.
(applause)
Leanne: Well, hey there ya’ll. I’m so happy to be here.
Rick: Thank you Leanne. Now just have a seat here behind this curtain and lets bring out our Bachelors.
(applause)
Rick: Bachelor number one, Cleatus come on out.
(Applause)
Rick: Welcome Cleatus. So, tell the audience where you are from.
Cleatus: Well, I’m from Laguna Bog and I’m real excited to be here with ya’ll.
Rick: I’m sure you are, Cleatus. Now our next bachelor, come on out, Clark Kent.
Superman: (depressed) Thank you.
Rick: Where are you from Clark?
Superman: Smallville. Well, I think. I don’t know anymore.
Rick: Yeah, um, moving on. Bachelor number three, come on out.
Chewbacca: Grrrrr
Rick: am I pronouncing this right, Chewbacca?
Chew: Grrr.
Rich: Moving on, our forth and final contestant, a Spanish Latin lover who moves from the rhythm of life. Come on out, Sergio.
(applause, girls whistle and holler)
Rich: We are excited to have you. Settle down ladies. Wow, they are excited to have you here.
Sergio: Of coarse they are.
(Latin music)
Rick: Now moving on with the show. Leanne, you are to ask our contestants a series of questions and they will try to answer as best possible. Go ahead Leanne.
Leanne: Ok, well I’m a little nervous. Here goes. Bachelor number one, If we went on a date, where would you take me?
Cleatus: Well, little missy, first I’d like to show you my hog wrestling skills, so we’d head over to hog rink. Then we’d head over to a barbeque for some good old ribs and pigs feet. Mmmm Mmmm, mama makes the best of them ribs and pigs.
Leanne: that’s sounds great. I love ribs. Bachelor number two, where would we go?

Superman: I’d take you where I took Lois Lane for are first date. To the moon to watch the stars. Then we flew back and she decided that Lex Luther was better because he was bad and girls like bad boys. Then she asked me why I’m never home anymore. I’m sorry I’m out saving the world. Well maybe Lex Luther will pay more attention to me…
Rick: Ok, next question…go ahead Leanne.
Lianne: Ok, sure. I enjoy long walks on the beach, Bachelor number 3, what do you like to do?
Chew: Grrr…
Leanne: What was that?
Chew: Grrr…
Leanne: I’m sorry, I don’t understand.
Rick: He likes watching romantic movies in the afternoon. Cuddling by the fire. Reading long interesting novels. Volunteering at the soup kitchen. Most of all he’d like to serenade you in a boat on the lake with swans in the background carry roses in their mouth.
Chew: Grrr….
Leanne: oh, that sounds nice. How about you bachelor number 4?
Sergio: the ladies. So fair, so soft and beautiful. Yeas, that is what I do. Be sexy. A sexy Sergio.
(latin music)
Leanne: Oh, my. That’s a little too hot for me.
Rick: Next question…
Leanne: Right. Um… This is one for all the bachelors, if you were an animal, which animal would you be and why? Bachelor number one, you go first…
Cleatus: I don’t know what animal I’d be. I’d reckon I’d be a pig because I already know the mating call of a pig though. ( does a pig call)
Rick: That’s tallent. Bachelor number two, how about you?
Superman: I’d be the most despicable, lowlife, ugliest, vindictive animal in sight. The one that makes the boogie man look like a puppy. The one that makes the monster under the bed look like a dust ball….Lex Luther.
Leane; Okay well then I didn’t know they existed. Contestant number three.
Chewie; Grrr….
Rick; Really a Gecko… I just save a lot of money on car insurance. Contestant number four, what animal would you be?
Sergio: I would be me…Sexy Sergio. Because I am an animal.
(Latin Music)
Leanne: Well, then…next question. Bachelor number two, if your ex-girlfriend was describing you to me, what would she say?
Superman: Well I know what your thinking but I’m not going to describe Lois Lane. Her name was Kitty I met her on the corner of 34th and south. She was amazing. Boy things people will do for a 75 cents and a flash of the cape. No, no none of it’s true. I miss you Lois! I need you I go through a six pack a day ( starts to cry) I need you to come back I can’t…
Rick; Okay, wow keep him away from children.
Superman; Children? We were going to have children. We were so happy, (angry) until Lex Luther came and screwed it with his “look at my tattoo I’m so bad. who needs to fly when you can ride on a motorcycle.” You are dead when I see you I’m going my red cape and strangle you then I’m going take out your heart like she took out mine. Then I’ll give it to her so she has another heart to feed on. That selfish little…
Rick; That’s enough .
(Superman cries)
Leanne: Ok next question is for bachelor number four. If you were an ice cream flavor, what would you be and why.
Sergio: That is an easy one. I would be any melted ice cream, because I am just that, how you say, friggin hot.
(latin music)
(Applause)
Leanne: Well, the audience seems happy with bachelor number four. But I just don’t know yet. These last two questions are for all of you. What is your best attribute?
Rick: Lets start with Bachelor number one again…
Cleatus: Well, I have webbed feet. Some gals think that’s the cats meow.
Rick: Bachelor number two…
Superman: (crying) Lowis…I love you…!!!
Rick: Get him off the show! Security! Bachelor number three…
Chew: Grr…
Leanne: Well, that’s impressive.
Rick: And bachelor number four, what is you best attribute?
Sergio: Are you really asking me this question. I mean, just imagine me from my deep sexy man voice. I am sexy beast Sergio.
(Latin Music)
Leanne: Well, you do have a deep, sexy voice. I’d like to see what else you have that is sexy and…
Rick: Moving on! Leanne, this is you final question. Choose wisely.
Leanne: Well, I guess I will go with a simple one. But it will tell me a lot. Ok, this is for all the bachelors again. Why should I choose you?
Rick: Bachelor number one?
Cleatus: Cuz I know how to treat a woman right. Take you out one night and never call you again.
Rick: Bachelor number two has been escorted out, so he wont be able to answer this question… Bachelor number three , on to you…
Chew: Grrr…
Rick: And you, dare I ask, bachelor number four.
Sergio: You should chose me because I am Sexy Man Sergio. I can make anything look good. I will sexify you like you wouldn’t imagine. I would do things like take…
Rick: Don’t want to know….
Sergio: Ok then… latin music man…you missed your cue.
(Latin Music)
Rick: Ok, Leanne, it is time to make your decision. You must chose one , and only one bachelor. Audience, who do you think she should pick?
(Audience shouts numbers)
Leanne: Oh, this is such a tough decision. They all sound….well….interesting.
Rick: who’s it going to be Leanne?
Leanne: Um, I think I’m going to choose number….um… number three.
(Applause)
Chew: Grrr! Grr!
Rick: Bachelor number three come on out!
Chew: Grr!
Leanne: Oh, He’s so handsome.
Rick: Leanne, You have chosen Mr. Chewbacca. I would like to present to you a gift certificate for two for fine dining at the local Denny’s.
(Applause for the rest of the show)
Leanne: Oh thank you rick!
Chew: Grrr.
Leanne: Oh we are goin to get along just fine.
Rick: Thank you to the audience and you listeners at home. This has been the Darkness Visible Dating Game Show. Thank you and good night.

CHETERS FINAL

I think it will work best in the begining as long as we can say helll

Eric Cohen
CHEATING LETS JUST CHEAT

Professor Boles- as professor boles
Walker- as McKean Senate leader Walker
Johnny- Johnny
Madison- Madison
Sarah- Sarah
Adrian- Frat Guy
Joesey- as ingreed res. life chief
Lilly- Presidents secretary
JJ REDICK- PRESIDENT DUNKEN or whatever his name is
Nar- Rich
Seth- Seth

Boles: Good morning class how is everybody feeling this bright Monday morning.

Class: GOOOOOOODD! (drowning voices)

Boles: Did everybody do there homework assignments

Class: Yeeeesssss!

Boles: Ok class… please write the honor code on your papers and then hand them in

Walker: Yo Johnny I saw Eric get his notes from Madison and then he used her notes to write his paper… ummm does that mean I’m breaking the honor code

Johnny: Yes Walker but, now thanks for telling me cause now im breaking the honor code if you weren’t going to say anything you should’ve just kept it to yourself … idiot… (talking to professor boles now) Proffesor Boles

Boles: Yes Johnny…

Johnny: Well I just heard…..

Walker: (giving a nudge or whispering) Johnny what are you doing?

Johnny: (replying to walker) I need to tell

Walker: Don’t do it! The whole class will think that we are tatle tales…

Johnny: Well what about HONOR!

Walker: Fudge HONOR! Our reputations are on the line no girl will want to be with us if. You. Do. This.

Boles: Well Johnny is everything ok…

Johnny: Yes sorry nevermind

Walker: (sighing) Thank God!

Johnny: Well ask maddy and find out for sure what happened

Narrarator: After class Johnny and Walker confront maddy

Johnny: Maddy… Walker and I need to talk to you

Maddey: Sorry guys I don’t talk to freshman outside class

Walker: But its about the notes… Yes we know about the notes

Narrarator: Sarah walking by is shocked about the news she just herd

Sarah: Maddey please… Don’t tell me that you gave Eric the notes on the article

Maddey: Guys so what if I did! Relax its only notes.

Sarah, Johnny, and Walker: But what about HONOR!

Maddey: What is wrong with you people. Honor shmoner. Nobody will know just shutup!

Narrarator: Look who it is RCC Counsler Seth lets hear what he has to say

Seth: Whats up kiddies?

Walker: We have a problem! Eric cheated on his assignment!

Seth: Guys I’m your RCC Counsler you cant be saying this to me… now option A: I have to tell proffesor boles or option B: Im going to walk away

Maddey: Ughhhh… Just go seth we don’t need your peer mentoring advice we can handle this… we never talked and I never gave Eric his notes or whatever jeese… wait theres a frat guy. Guyz hide in the bushes

Adrian: Hey Maddey! Uhhhh… were you just talking to some freshman

Maddey: Are you kidding you know I would never… so you guyz throwing a party tonite or what

Adrian: Of course babe… Remember room 312 its always a party at 312 Darkness Visible House

Maddey: Ill be there… wow… hes so dreamy!... You guyz can come out now.

Walker: Listen this is a big deal… This is how it starts first its notes than it’s a paper… Cant you see the chain reaction!
Maddey: By guyz don’t loose sleep over this ok… (walking away) these kids need to learn and grow up… there maturity level is not even close to mine

Narrarotor: As Maddison walks away Walker, Johnny, and Sarah are befudled and don’t know what to do… so they call a Darkness Visible GROUP MEETING! Check it out!

Walker: Ok guyz I called this meeting because Eric allegedly… no wait I mean he actually copied Madison’s notes and cheated on his essay assignment. What should we do?

Sarah: Lets vote! I think then our decision will be unanimous

Johnny: Crap! Its John our R.A.

John: What are you guyz doing?

Johnny: Nothing I promise were just having a RCC discussion

John: I was a freshman to ccoooommmee on what are you doing?

Johnny: Well you see Eric copied notes from Madison then wrote his paper on these notes what should we do?

John: I see…. Hmmmmm… Now you shouldn’t have told me that cause now I might have to say something… ughghghghghhhh… FRESHMAN!!!!!

Johnny: Well you asked

Narrarator: Later that day there was a building meeting with the RA’s and guess what came up. Eric and madison’s incident earlier in the day

John: So I heard earlier today that Eric had copied madison’s notes to write a paper if the students in the class do not tell are they in breach of the Honor Code.

Ingred: Actually yes… you should’ve said something else like there is a dispute between too students now I need to tell somebody…

John: Wait a second.. I think that this is important if the students figure this out it will definitely help with there understanding of honor I feel like they will make the right decision

Ingred: you have one week before there is a report filed and an investigation is launched

Narrarator: Now the word is spreading around campus about this little tiny incident and it somehow reaches the presidents office… uh o this cant be good

Secretary: Have you heard that Eric Cohen cheated on one of his assignments

Pres: What do you mean? (Really really serious voice)

Secretary: Supposobely he got notes from someone and he wrote a paper on thesse notes

Pres: Well… lets call him in and see what he knows or if he cracks under the pressure

(duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh) Presidents music

Narrarator: As that is going on the students are raising questions about this whole honor code thing walker and johnny run into some friends at Ellizabeth

Johnny: Dude im really confused what should I do…

Walker: I don’t know man its quite a predicament

Johnny: Come on man I wouldn’t want anything to be said if it was me

Walker: True story

Johnny: Hey older kid

Older kid: What up guyz?

Johnny: Nothing man this thing is outa control ehh walker

Walker: ayyyyyyaayyyyy

Older Kid: Whats on your mind?

Narrator: As walker and Johnny fill in older kid on whats going on the president calls Eric into his office

Secreatary: So you must be mr. cohen

Eric: Well I guess so… the one and only

Secretary: Good luck dear he isn’t to happy… go on in

President: Sit down Eric

Eric: yes sir

Pres: So you know why you’re here?

Eric: Nope… I figured you wanted to meet me.. I am quite important

Pres: Son.. this is serious.. and by the way I am rollins college…. Best school in the south

Eric: I understand sir

Pres: You broke the honor code this is a very serious act

Eric: Sure sir if I broke the honor code… well you have proof

Pres: No its heresay

Eric: Aight than lata pres

Pres: ill get you kid

Narrarator: Eric did not handle that well but, meanwhile he was gaining quite the following amoing the students they started to form a protest against the honor code. We now take you infront of Mills Lawn where the student body begins to protesst

Crowd: Hell no we wont go until you get rid of the Honor code! (Repeat 4 times class involved)

President: STUDENTS PLEASE! This matter does not concern you disperse immediately

Seth: NOW THROUGH THE PAINTBALL BOMBS

Pres: eghhghghghghhhhhhhhhhh

Seth: Get him he tried to deorganize our studentbody

Pres: Mr. Cohen I will not forget this

Seth: The student body has spoken we will not rest until the honor code makes sense…

Crowd: HELL NO WE WONT GO UNTIL YOU GET RID OF THE HONOR CODE

Narrarator: Live from Rollins College…. ITS DARKNESS VISIBLE RADIO

Intro music

Disney

Adrian Cohn
JJ Forcella

Cast:
Rich
Eric
JJ
Carolina, Amanda, and Lily - Singers

Carolina, Amanda and Lily- JJ and I will bring a CD for you to listen to so you know the lyrics to the songs. If you can sing them along with the music in the background, it would be hilarious, and would, as Dr. Boles mentioned, give us better marks [ :) ] because we would be producing our own music!!!



Rich: Welcome to Guess that Disney Tune! Here’s how you play. I play a few seconds of a Disney Tune and you call in with the name of the song I’m playing. If you win, you get various Disney Prizes. And here is our first song.


A Whole New World Plays


Phone Rings after 4 seconds of song playing…

Rich: We’ve got our first caller!

JJ: That’s A Whole New World!!! What did I win what did I win!!??

Rich: Good job… what is your name caller?

JJ: The name is JJ. So what did I win?

Rich: A Mickey Mouse stuffed animal.

JJ: Can I have a Mini Mouse stuffed animal instead

Rich: Sure… On to the next song…

Be Our Guest Plays

Rich: Caller?

JJ: Be Our Guest!!!

Rich: Wait… didn’t you call in for the last song.

JJ: So.

Rich: How… how did you call in so fast?

JJ: I’m a Disney World addict and I want to win.

Rich: Well you just won…

JJ: sweet… what did I win?

Rich: One-day Park Pass.

JJ: Well what kind of pass? You can get Single Park or a hopper pass… which one did I just win?

Rich: You won a Single Park pass.

JJ: Sweet. I already have season passes to all of the parks, but I will give it to my girlfriend, Jill.

Rich: Alrighhhttt. You two have fun. Onto the next song.

I Can Go the Distance Plays

Rich: This better not be JJ. Caller?

Eric: Yooooo, this is JJ!!!! [Pause] Just kiddin this is Eric. Whasssss popin?

Rich: Just waiting for this show to be over. Eric, what song was that?

Eric: I don’t [BLEEP] know!!! I don’t listen to Disney World music.. i write me on stuff. I’m CEO, the one to know.

Rich: The one to what?

Eric; The one to know.

Rich: You sound like you’re retarded.

Eric: I’m not the one runnin some Disney triva show.

Rich: HEY! DON’T YOU DISS DISNEY WORLD LIKE THAT. GET OUTTA HERE.

NEXT caller!

JJ: Hey Rich. I just want to say that Eric should go screw himself. And Eric, your accent is fake. And the song was I Can Go the Distance.

Rich: You just went the distance. Free hotel room for one night… you and Jill. Have fun buddy. Onto the next song! And what movie is it from?

Best of Friends Plays

Rich: Name that song and movie caller!!

JJ: Hey again Rich.

Rich: JJ, it’s you again?

JJ: You know it. That was Best of Friends in the Fox and the Hound!

Rich: I don’t know what to say JJ, you know your Disney.

JJ: Yeah. Yes I do.

Rich: JJ, you’ve won season passes for you and Jill for next year. Have fun.

That’s all the time we have here at Guess that Disney Tune. So for all you Disney lovers, until next time, study up Rollins College.

Rich, say “study up Rollins College” like “Stay classy San Diego” by Ron Burgendy.

for nate

nate can you please cast you scripts by this afternoon....thank you :)

Monday, September 25, 2006

Nate..this is for you....

Nate, I am having trouble adding comments, but I have some additional fake new for you. It is more political based and there is an interview (with lucifer) that i think would be really funny and appropriate...If i could meet with you either tongiht or tomorrow and work it out..that would be awesome. Thanks


Walker

Responses

I have posted responses to the scripts that were posted last night. Please give the comments a read and fix the scripts accordingly.

It looks like you are on the road to a good show, if you all are organized and there on time tomorrow then we can put it all together in a tightly woven show.

We want to organize the news segment of the show--Nate and Carolina have provided some linking material (we might want a few more news stories).

We are looking for the update to the Honor code script, the Laundry Chat, and then all the scripts that were mentioned today in class.

I am especially looking forward to Arnold Schwarzenegger reviewing LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE.

Dr. Boles I'm having a lot of trouble revising the script. I tried to "fix it" the best I could and I don't know if it works. I saved the new version on the r-drive so read it please. I don't know if I saved the Peggy Sue correctly, but it's there. Do I have to type up that poem I read?

Chewbacca Goes Speed Dating

Chewbacca goes Speed Dating

Announcer: Alright ladies and gents, the dating is about to begin! When I ring the bell, the men must move from the table you are sitting at, and move one numbered table to the right. Remember have fun and good luck to all you love birds!

[Bell Rings]

Chewie: Grrrrrrr

Rachel: My name is Rachel and yours is…..

Chewie: Grrrrrr

Rachel: Oh that’s nice, what do you do for a living?

Chewie: Grrrrr

Rachel: Wow that’s amazing, I didn’t know someone could possibly be a neurosurgeon slash model slash astronaut. You must keep very busy!

Chewie: Grrrrr

Rachel: I agree, what you said being single allowing for much more free time with friends and family is very true, and you’re point about making more money is very valid as well. Unfortunately I’m looking for someone who shares more compassion for the opposite sex than you do, sorry!

Chewie: Grrrr!!!!!!

[Ding]

Chewie: Grrrrr

Samantha: Hi I’m Samantha, I’m really really nervous, I like horses a lot, I’m a Virgo so I hope our signs match. I’m very superstitious and I hate cats. I think the only way to be happy is to find your center and appreciate mother nature for everything she gives us. My turn on’s are peaceful walks, puppies, horses of course and long chats under the stars.

Chewie: Grrrrrrr

Samantha: Oh… I see… it doesn’t surprise me that you are looking for a girl who is more goal focused…. I DO THIS EVERY TIME I ALWAYS MESS UP WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Chewie: Grrrrrr
Samantha: No it’s not ok! And no there aren’t a bunch of other people out there for me. And yes I realize that I come on a little strong and that guys might like me more if I just toned it down a bit. WAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Chewie: Grrrrrrr

[Ding]

Chewie: Grrrrrrrr

Rebecca: Grrrrrrr

Chewie: GRRRR!!!!!

Rebecca: GRRRR!!!!!!

[sound of kissing]

Announcer: Well it looks like these two have found a match for each other! I love it when this happens! The rest of you who are still sad and lonely… sucks to be you!!!!! Now get outta here!!!!

Fake News

The Fake News

Derek Redstone: Anna Nicole Smith was very upset this week as she received news of her son’s death. It was reported that when she broke down in tears after hearing that she would receive no money for this one.

Hannah Johnson: Britney Spears gave birth to a second child this week, judging by the parental genius Kevin Federline and Spears have shown, this is likely not the last time they will hit a baby one more time.

Derek: Christ returned this week as a Superman Lunch box. Given the short-lived nostalgia of movie themed lunchboxes, it is likely that Christ will die for our sins of child gluttony with Snack Packs and PB and J sandwiches. This marks the 3rd time Christ has returned, after he accidentally possessed the body of Carrot Top, which he very quickly abandoned, leaving Carrot Top mentally disabled.

Hannah: Gas Prices went down heavily this week, likely because of the new drilling in Alaska, where there are very few terrorist polar bears.

Hannah: U2 and Green Day opened last night for the New Orleans Saints football game, and they played all the songs you’ve heard on the radio at least 100 times.

Derek: The Pope apologized for his anti-muslim comments last week, after realizing it might be a bad idea to start a third world war. He has since decided to pick on a lesser religion, although that religion is unknown at this time.

Hannah: A minor earthquake awakened many South Carolina residents this week, but a major earthquake was unable to awaken Krom, a 10 foot tall giant who resides in the cliffs of the Rocky Mountains.

Derek: A 200 billion dollar class action lawsuit towards the Tobacco Industry has been announced this week. The lawsuit is directed towards “light cigarettes” and it claims that consumers were led to believe “light cigarettes” would not be as harmful. This lawsuit is being followed by a 3,000 dollar circuit court lawsuit directed at menthol cigarettes, with the consumers believing that the menthol cigarettes would leave a “minty-fresh” taste in their mouths.


Derek: That’s all for this week everyone.

Hannah: You keep it real

Derek: We’ll keep it real fake

better version of song

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=C5BB9CB92D2C8596

Here's a better version of the song. Just need to fix some minor problems with some simple editing. Now if I could EQ it, it would sound so much better and cleaner.

Laundry talk 2

Amanda and I are writing laundry talk with the same characters as before.
Girl 1: Amber (Maddy)
Girl 2: Becca (Carolina)
Girl 3: Kylie (Amanda)
Gay Guy: Steven (Johnny)

We are putting current events into the script and making it a news-type segment.
we are going to talk about spinach, lindsay lohan, and other events. If you know of anything crazy going on in the news let us know and we will add it to the script.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Disney Script by JJ and Adrian

Adrian Cohn
JJ Forcella

Cast:
Rich
Eric
JJ

Print copy off of R-Drive when it is there



Rich: Welcome to Guess that Disney Tune! Here’s how you play. I play a few seconds of a Disney Tune and you call in with the name of the song I’m playing. If you win, you get various Disney Prizes. And here is our first song.


A Whole New World Plays


Phone Rings after 4 seconds of song playing…

Rich: We’ve got our first caller!

JJ: That’s A Whole New World!!! What did I win what did I win!!??

Rich: Good job… what is your name caller?

JJ: The name is JJ. So what did I win?

Rich: A Mickey Mouse stuffed animal.

JJ: Can I have a Mini Mouse stuffed animal instead

Rich: Sure… On to the next song…

Be Our Guest Plays

Rich: Caller?

JJ: Be Our Guest!!!

Rich: Wait… didn’t you call in for the last song.

JJ: So.

Rich: How… how did you call in so fast?

JJ: I’m a Disney World addict and I want to win.

Rich: Well you just won…

JJ: sweet… what did I win?

Rich: One-day Park Pass.

JJ: Well what kind of pass? You can get Single Park or a hopper pass… which one did I just win?

Rich: You won a Single Park pass.

JJ: Sweet. I already have season passes to all of the parks, but I will give it to my girlfriend, Jill.

Rich: Alrighhhttt. You two have fun. Onto the next song.

I Can Go the Distance Plays

Rich: This better not be JJ. Caller?

Eric: Yooooo, this is JJ!!!! [Pause] Just kiddin this is Eric. Whasssss popin?

Rich: Just waiting for this show to be over. Eric, what song was that?

Eric: I don’t [BLEEP] know!!! I don’t listen to Disney World shit.. I’m CEO, the one to know.

Rich: The one to what?

Eric; The one to know.

Rich: You sound like you’re retarded.

Eric: I’m not the one runnin some Disney triva show.

Rich: HEY! DON’T YOU DISS DISNEY WORLD LIKE THAT. GET OUTTA HERE.

NEXT caller!

JJ: Hey Rich. I just want to say that Eric should go screw himself. And Eric, your accent is fake. And the song was I Can Go the Distance.

Rich: You just went the distance. Free hotel room for one night… you and Jill. Have fun buddy. Onto the next song! And what movie is it from?

Best of Friends Plays

Rich: Name that song and movie caller!!

JJ: Hey again Rich.

Rich: JJ, it’s you again?

JJ: You know it. That was Best of Friends in the Fox and the Hound!

Rich: I don’t know what to say JJ, you know your Disney.

JJ: Yeah. Yes I do.

Rich: JJ, you’ve won season passes for you and Jill for next year. Have fun.

That’s all the time we have here at Guess that Disney Tune. So for all you Disney lovers, until next time, study up Rollins College.

Rich, say “study up Rollins College” like “Stay classy San Diego” by Ron Burgendy.

date game

By: Carolina, Amanda and Sarah
Announcer; Alright settle down, settle down, he puts the oo cool. The zing in amazing. He’s the original slick rick. Give it up for the incredible Rick Forward.
(Audience applauds)
Rick; Hello Leanne
Heidi; Hey there Rick.
Rick; Hello America and welcome to the dating game. Where we meet the contestants from all different walks of life. People who are ready for a committed relationship, to commit relations, or just need to be committed. You never know with this show. Today on the show, we have three handsome bachelors trying to win the heart of this lovely bacheloret. Trick is, they will not be able to officially meet until after our bachloret makes a decision. And now, for our bachlorette. All the way from Nashville, Tennesee, we have an aspiring singer/waitress, Lianne Mitchell.
(applause)
Leanne: Well, hey there ya’ll. I’m so happy to be here.
Rick: Thank you Leanne. Now just have a seat here behind this curtain and lets bring out our Bachelors.
(applause)
Rick: Bachelor number one, Cleatus come on out.
(Applause)
Rick: Welcome Cleatus. So, tell the audience where you are from.
Cleatus: Well, I’m from Laguna Bog and I’m real excited to be here with ya’ll.
Rick: I’m sure you are, Cleatus. Now our next bachelor, come on out, Clark Kent.
Superman: (depressed) Thank you.
Rick: Where are you from Clark?
Superman: Smallville. Well, I think. I don’t know anymore.
Rick: Yeah, um, moving on. Bachelor number three, come on out.
Chewbacca: Grrrrr
Rick: am I pronouncing this right, Chewbacca?
Chew: Grrr.
Rich: Moving on, our forth and final contestant, a Spanish Latin lover who moves from the rhythm of life. Come on out, Sergio.
(applause, girls whistle and holler)
Rich: We are excited to have you. Settle down ladies. Wow, they are excited to have you here.
Sergio: Of coarse they are.
(Latin music)
Rick: Now moving on with the show. Leanne, you are to ask our contestants a series of questions and they will try to answer as best possible. Go ahead Leanne.
Leanne: Ok, well I’m a little nervous. Here goes. Bachelor number one, If we went on a date, where would you take me?
Cleatus: Well, little missy, first I’d like to show you my hog wrestling skills, so we’d head over to hog rink. Then we’d head over to a barbeque for some good old ribs and pigs feet. Mmmm Mmmm, mama makes the best of them ribs and pigs.
Leanne: that’s sounds great. I love ribs. Bachelor number two, where would we go?

Superman: I’d take you where I took Lois Lane for are first date. To the moon to watch the stars. Then we flew back and she decided that Lex Luther was better because he was bad and girls like bad boys. Then she asked me why I’m never home anymore. I’m sorry I’m out saving the world. Well maybe Lex Luther will pay more attention to me…
Rick: Ok, next question…go ahead Leanne.
Lianne: Ok, sure. I enjoy long walks on the beach, Bachelor number 3, what do you like to do?
Chew: Grrr…
Leanne: What was that?
Chew: Grrr…
Leanne: I’m sorry, I don’t understand.
Rick: He likes watching romantic movies in the afternoon. Cuddling by the fire. Reading long interesting novels. Volunteering at the soup kitchen. Most of all he’d like to serenade you in a boat on the lake with swans in the background carry roses in their mouth.
Chew: Grrr….
Leanne: oh, that sounds nice. How about you bachelor number 4?
Sergio: the ladies. So fair, so soft and beautiful. Yeas, that is what I do. Be sexy. A sexy Sergio.
(latin music)
Leanne: Oh, my. That’s a little too hot for me.
Rick: Next question…
Leanne: Right. Um… This is one for all the bachelors, if you were an animal, which animal would you be and why? Bachelor number one, you go first…
Cleatus: I don’t know what animal I’d be. I’d reckon I’d be a pig because I already know the mating call of a pig though. ( does a pig call)
Rick: That’s tallent. Bachelor number two, how about you?
Superman: I’d be the most despicable, lowlife, ugliest, vindictive animal in sight. The one that makes the boogie man look like a puppy. The one that makes the monster under the bed look like a dust ball….Lex Luther.
Leane; Okay well then I didn’t know they existed. Contestant number three.
Chewie; Grrr….
Rick; Really a Gecko… I just save a lot of money on car insurance. Contestant number four, what animal would you be?
Sergio: I would be me…Sexy Sergio. Because I am an animal.
(Latin Music)
Leanne: Well, then…next question. Bachelor number two, if your ex-girlfriend was describing you to me, what would she say?
Superman: Well I know what your thinking but I’m not going to describe Lois Lane. Her name was Kitty I met her on the corner of 34th and south. She was amazing. Boy things people will do for a 75 cents and a flash of the cape. No, no none of it’s true. I miss you Lois! I need you I go through a six pack a day ( starts to cry) I need you to come back I can’t…
Rick; Okay, wow keep him away from children.
Superman; Children? We were going to have children. We were so happy, (angry) until Lex Luther came and screwed it with his “look at my tattoo I’m so bad. who needs to fly when you can ride on a motorcycle.” You are dead when I see you I’m going my red cape and strangle you then I’m going take out your heart like she took out mine. Then I’ll give it to her so she has another heart to feed on. That selfish little…
Rick; That’s enough .
(Superman cries)
Leanne: Ok next question is for bachelor number four. If you were an ice cream flavor, what would you be and why.
Sergio: That is an easy one. I would be any melted ice cream, because I am just that, how you say, friggin hot.
(latin music)
(Applause)
Leanne: Well, the audience seems happy with bachelor number four. But I just don’t know yet. These last two questions are for all of you. What is your best attribute?
Rick: Lets start with Bachelor number one again…
Cleatus: Well, I have webbed feet. Some gals think that’s the cats meow.
Rick: Bachelor number two…
Superman: (crying) Lowis…I love you…!!!
Rick: Get him off the show! Security! Bachelor number three…
Chew: Grr…
Leanne: Well, that’s impressive.
Rick: And bachelor number four, what is you best attribute?
Sergio: Are you really asking me this question. I mean, just imagine me from my deep sexy man voice. I am sexy beast Sergio.
(Latin Music)
Leanne: Well, you do have a deep, sexy voice. I’d like to see what else you have that is sexy and…
Rick: Moving on! Leanne, this is you final question. Choose wisely.
Leanne: Well, I guess I will go with a simple one. But it will tell me a lot. Ok, this is for all the bachelors again. Why should I choose you?
Rick: Bachelor number one?
Cleatus: Cuz I know how to treat a woman right. Take you out one night and never call you again.
Rick: Bachelor number two has been escorted out, so he wont be able to answer this question… Bachelor number three , on to you…
Chew: Grrr…
Rick: And you, dare I ask, bachelor number four.
Sergio: You should chose me because I am Sexy Man Sergio. I can make anything look good. I will sexify you like you wouldn’t imagine. I would do things like take…
Rick: Don’t want to know….
Sergio: Ok then… latin music man…you missed your cue.
(Latin Music)
Rick: Ok, Leanne, it is time to make your decision. You must chose one , and only one bachelor. Audience, who do you think she should pick?
(Audience shouts numbers)
Leanne: Oh, this is such a tough decision. They all sound….well….interesting.
Rick: who’s it going to be Leanne?
Leanne: Um, I think I’m going to choose number….um… number three.
(Applause)
Chew: Grrr! Grr!
Rick: Bachelor number three come on out!
Chew: Grr!
Leanne: Oh, He’s so handsome.
Rick: Leanne, You have chosen Mr. Chewbacca. I would like to present to you a gift certificate for two for fine dining at the local Denny’s.
(Applause for the rest of the show)
Leanne: Oh thank you rick!
Chew: Grrr.
Leanne: Oh we are goin to get along just fine.
Rick: Thank you to the audience and you listeners at home. This has been the Darkness Visible Dating Game Show. Thank you and good night.

Roaring essence add CASTED

Roaring essences

Cast:
Narrator:Josi
Coach: Rich
Football Players: all the guys in the class


Narrator: Roaring essences provide all the best nutrients to volumize your hair.
your split ends will be no more… leaving you with nothing but beautiful shiny sexy hair with body and bounce. Now listen to these big strong football players enjoy a wonderful shower with Roaring essence

Coach: (blow whistle) Good football practice today men… now hit the showers! (blow whistle again)
Football Players: (Moan very loud… very loud)
Narrator: Unlike herbal essences even the manliest men can enjoy it!

Johnny
JJ
Josi
Sarah

re-write

Maddy, i made some changes to make it flow better (i hope). if you dont like what i did, change it or keep the old.

News Reporter: Amanda

This just in…

Will students not have the option of applying early admission to the colleges and universities of their choice? Will they have to rely on pulling decent grades and being judged in one pool with the rest of their peers and students all over the globe for regular admittance?

This topic has been debated throughout universities all over the United States. However, recently, Harvard and Princeton, to of the leading Ivy League schools have just recently discarded the early admission program that most colleges offer in their admission process. Harvard and Princeton’s prospective students will now all be forced to apply at the same time, and be “evaluated” with all of the students who apply there. Admittance letters will be sent to all applicants in the spring for these two universities starting in the year 2008. Harvard and Princeton known for their selectivity, which means this new process may not effect many who apply. Nevertheless, it may begin a chain and influence other universities in the future which could lower the possibility of acceptance for students with lower GPA’s or SAT scores. Dickinson College in Pennsylvania is looking into dropping their early decision admissions as well. Also in May of 2008, University of Delaware stated they too will drop their early admissions.

Although it is looking awful for most students, there may be some benefit for financial aid students. They will not be taking a risk of applying early and being accepted and not being able to afford the college admission. Harvard was the first to dispose of the early admission process, but, Princeton followed shortly. Both Ivy League schools believe that this is the “right decision” and hope other colleges follow in their footsteps.

Many colleges and universities question that with early admission how they stay competitive with other schools and at the same time how do they make it less stressful for students and families. This large controversy is hypothesized to be in debate for years to come.

As you can see there is already a small trend beginning. Will more colleges proceed to dropping this process as well? Will it affect the outcome of many future students? Stay tuned in to find out.
News Reporter: Amanda

Are early admission programs for college students going to be dropped for all colleges?

Has Princeton and Harvard started a trend that could effect the following generations of college students?

The two Ivy League schools have just recently cut out the early admission program that most colleges have in their admission process. Harvard and Princeton’s students will now have to all apply at the same time, and be “evaluated” with all of the students who apply there. They will all hear back from either school in the spring, starting in 2008. Harvard and Princeton are among our top schools in the United States and although it will not affect a great amount of students who apply to either school because they are very selective, it may begin a chain and influence other universities in the future. As for financial aid students, it will be more beneficial because they will not be taking a risk of applying early and being accepted and not being able to afford the college admission. Harvard was the first to dispose of the early admission process but Princeton followed shortly behind. Both Ivy League schools believe that this is the “right decision” and hope other colleges follow in their footsteps.

The college’s question was that with early admission how do they stay competitive with other schools, but at the same time how do they a make it less stressful for students and family’s. It is a very large contraversy that will only expand in the following years.

As for other college’s, Dickinson College in Pennsylvania is looking into dropping their early decision admissions as well. Also in May of 2008, University of Delaware stated they too will drop their early admissions.

As you can see there is already a small trend beginning. Will more colleges proceed to dropping this process as well? Will it affect the outcome of many of the future students? Stay tuned in to find out.


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