Saturday, August 26, 2006

The Laundry Room Talk

This is good we would love for some more ideas. Johnny, Amanda, Carolina

Girl 1: Amber
Girl 2: Becca
Girl 3: Kylie
Gay Guy: Steven

Amber: Welcome to “Laundry Talk!” The shows that informs whats hot and whats not. (giggle) brought to you from the McKean laundry room.

Becca: of coarse, we are the hot.

kylie: like, like yeah. Hahaha…I don’t get it.

Steven: OMG! Did you see Prof. Boles today? What a stud muffin. With his parted hair and cute collard shirts. What a great sense of style!

Amber: Oh I know! I think he winked at me today. Is that wrong?

Kylie: I like cheese, but it’s a lot of calories.

Gat Guy: Um Kylie you still eat food?

Kylie: I like puppies.

Becca: Um, yeah, whatever. Moving on…

Steven: WAIT! Girls just stop! OMG. We forgot to pray to our idol today. The great LINDSEY LOHAN!

Amber: OMG! Your so right Steven. Ok, everyone join hands. (praying): Oh, Lindsey, our great leader, who has gone from red, to blonde, to black… never showing roots, of coarse. We ask for your guidance in our daily gossip and the strength to say no to breads. We ask that you help those misfortunate who lack the style, grace, and boobs that we all aquired thoughout the years. And we forgive you for “Herbie” like you have forgiven us countless times. AMEN.


Steven: but I liked “Herbie.”

Becca: Kylie shut up! It was totally VIP, because you were the only one in the theater. Ok, so, we like totally need to discuss about fixing the food here at Rollins. I mean, I have like totally gain .5 pounds.

Steven: it doesnt matter Becca .You’re just ganna make a trip to the bathroom with your toothbrush.

Becca: yeah, well, at least I don’t use laxitives. Hahahaha.

Kylie: this washing machine is making me happy.

Amber: So, girls, like do you think George Bush won because of his good looks or cuz Kerry is too tall?

Becca: well, I still think Hillary should have won. Girl power!

Amber: Oh yeah! No, but seriously, I totally think George has an amazing butt.

Steven: Hello Mr. President (giggle).

Kylie: Once I was walking down the street and I totally found five dollars, so I like totally took it and bought a hot dog.

Steven: I wish I could be the next Monica Lowinski.

Becca: First of all, Kylie, you need to quit with those hot dogs. Your totally going to gain a gazillion pounds. Secondly, I know really should have won for president... Linsday Lohan!!!!

(ALL scream Lindsey Lohan)

Amber: hahaha! OMG. Girls, we should totally take that hot dog and shove it down Hillery Duff’s throat.

(ALL gasp)

Steven: Amber ,do not utter such a name in this laundry room! You will be damned to the chess club!

Amber: Ok, like im sorry! I just hate her so much!

Becca: Oh, I know! With her fake teeth and high cheekbones…EW!

Kylie: I thought high cheekbones were like a blessing

Steven: Lets all take a moment of silence and just forget what sunshine banana hammock just said.

All the girls: What????

Kylie: I got a name change

Amber: Um, so anyways. Kylie how are you and Billy doing?

Kylie: well, I found something weird in his room. I found pictures of him and two other girls. And they weren’t wearing any clothes. Um, but, like, Billy says thats normal, so, whatever.

Becca: Kylie! That’s not normal. He’s cheating on you!

Steven: I want chocolate.

Amber: Kylie, you like totally need to like go get drunk and make out with someone…like steven.

(Billy enters)

Billy: Hey dudes.

Kylie: OMG! Billy! I love you!

Billy: whatever man. Kylie, here is my laundry. I need it done by tonight…im going to the TKE party.

Kylie: sure, billy, whatever you want.

Billy: yeah, whatever, thanks. Hey Amber…call me later.

Steven: (whisper) Billy, call me.

(Billy exits)

Becca: hey girls, um, I like totally went back to hooters to get that job, but I got scared cuz my boobs arnt big enough.

Steven: OMG! That so not true. I mean, you just got them done two weeks ago. They havent even dropped.

Kylie: maybe you should get a boob pump. Hahaha…boobs!

Amber: Now it’s time for are main topic, the denunciation of Pluto.

Becca: Yeah that’s right, we are not just dumb blondes who love boys, boobs, and small waists, we have something in our heads.

Amber: Headlines state, the well known planet Pluto, our beloved ninth planet, is now known as a mear star.

Gay guy: what is this world coming to!

Becca: Pluto will always be a planet to me.

Kylie: Actually, scientists found Pluto in 1930, making it the ninth planet in our solar system. However, at the Astronomical International Union, it failed to meet the definition of a planet. Pluto will now be part of a group known as dwarfed planets.

Steven: Kylie that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

Amber: We’re going on a hunger until Pluto is a planet again. And by hunger strike I mean we are going to binge. That’s right girls, lettuce, nuts and berries… and occationally water.

Kylie: I can fit my fist in my mouth.

Becca: Well, that’s all the time we have.

Luke.: Girls what are you doing?!

Amber: OMG! Everyone its R.A. Luke!

Luke: You’ve been down here for five hours. People have to do their laundry. This is ridiculous. Get out of here!

Steven: Wait! We have to sign off! I’m Steven!

Amber: I’m Amber

Becca: I’m Becca

Kylie: And I like puppies…oh I mean I’m sunshine banana hammock.

All: Bye.

I think this can be quite funny, especially if the voices are done well and the different characters are differentiated.

I think the laundry aspect is still missing a bit from it. Yes, we are told at the beginning that it is a laundry room, and someone brings it in and one of the girls makes a comment about how the dryer makes her feel good, but you might want to see if you can do more with the laundry room.

You might also tweak the opening: 'Hello everybody, we are broadcasting live on WPRK 91.5 FM, the best in basement radio, from the laundry room in McKean hall on the beautiful campus of Rollins College. I am here with...." So it feels much more like part of a regular radio broadcast that you might here.

I laughed out loud at parts (which is a good thing) especially the Lindsey Lohan part.


G:Did your best friend take your boyfriend

S:Did your sister kick you out of your bed pee in it. Then put you back in the bed wake up your parents and let them find you slushing around in it from the ages 3-5.

G: Does your roommate steel your clothes stain them and put them back in your closet.

S: Are you to much of a punk

G: or Pussy

S; To do anything about it

G; Hear at payback central we sympothise with the mistreated

S; And feel that it is our obligation to set things right for the nation

G; For karma

S; For the little guy

G; For a small fee of 24.95 You can right the wrong

S; You can have live crabs set free in their pants

G; You can have them chased out of their jobs known as polly pissy pants every day.

S; You can have them set on fire

G; You can give them diabetes

S; You can have wild dogs

G; Chicken

S; Sheep

G; Or snakes let lose in there room while they’re sleeping

S; You can all but kill them

G; And the payback center does not discriminate, Oh no.

S; Has grandma been putting to much sugar in your oatmeal

G; Did papa instead of giving you the (CAR) as a birthday gift give you a momentum that meant didly to you but the world to him so he started to cry and in front of all of your friends at the most wicked party and you just happened to invite the entire school including lazy eye sally and my hands always in my back pocket willis and your completely embarrased because fathers aren’t suppose to cry and if the dad cries then you must cry all the time. And the no girls will date you unless there a two and that’s on good day. Then you finally convince a seven after months of begging and groveling to go out with you and you can’t drive her around in that amazing car that all your other friends have but no you can show her that oh so special antique dish your dad found when he was diving some u-boat or something. Then you think to yourself if it meant so much to him why the hell didn’t he keep it AND GIVE YOU THE CAR.


S;Charlie, did they ever find your dad


G; No

S; uh, we’re, uh,we’re going to have to talk

G; Coincidence I swear hah, hah, hah. Did your ex-girlfriend dump you the day before prom

S; Did your sister throw up on your prom dress.

G; Did your three year old cousin give you the finger, twice.

S; Did your teacher give you a B- when you deserved a B+

G; A+

S; Well then

G; Email us

S; Call up

G; Call in

S; Drop by

G; Drop in

S; We’re just a hop and a skip away

G; At the tip of the fingers

S; The tip of the tongue

G; Don’t delay

S; Make them pay

G; We know that if we mix a little bit of our imagination

S; Your imagination

G; Let it brew

S; And sprinkle it with anger

G; We can make some magic

S; Don’t worry this is strictly confidential

G; So If your feeling bad

S; don’t.

G; Because, remember

TOGETHER; They screwed you over first.
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