Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Jamaican FINAL

Attention Cast Members: Printing this script off of blogger will not work. For your convenience, I will print copies for everybody. See you tonight, and please look over your part.

Cast: (KEEP IN MIND IT HAS BEEN CHANGED SLIGHTLY)
Walker: Walker
Owner: Seth
Waitress: Josi
Manager: Maddy
Jamaican: Adrian
Eric in background

Jamaican Script

Jamaican goes to order food in a New York City dinner.

Narrator: A Jamaican goes to eat and meet his friend at a diner in New York City.

Sound of dishes clashing in background / people talking / some people yelling food orders at cued parts

Jamaican: We're jamming
 I wanna jam it with you,
 We're jamming, jamming
 And I hope you like jamming too.

 Man, me love Bob Marley…. Me hungry… where da waitress at. Common me hungry.

Pause for several seconds

Waitress: Are you waiting for someone?

Jamaican: Ya man.

Waitress: Would you like to order now?

Jamaican: Ya man.

Waitress: What do you like?

Jamaican: me want chaklit cake with nuff icening.

Waitress: we don’t have that, desserts are on the back

Jamaican: bomobclat...how you not have chaklit cake.

Waitress: we just…

Jamaican: with nuff icening.

ERIC: You are yelling the following dialogue in background (away from microphones). When waitress begins to say cheese cake, you yell in background [W/ NEW YORK ACCENT]
“One order of bacon burnt to a crisp, two eggs over easy, 3 orders of pancakes. Let me get two coffees and make it quick!”

Waitress: We’ve got carrot cake, cheese cake and apple pie.

Jamaican: Me want chaklit cake with nuff icening.

Waitress: What are you?

Jamaican: … I’m jamaican.

Waitress: Well we don’t got no “chaklit cake with nuff icening” so move it or lose it.

Jamaican: No badda mi. You’ve got no chaklit cake.

Waitress: I’m sorry... [sir]

Jamaican: bredda! Wagwan!

Walker: That test sucked.

Jamaican: Boy! I thought that test would have been easy man.

Walker: Me too. What are you gettin?

Jamaican: Me want chaklit cake, but she say they not got any.

Walker: No chocolate cake!? And you call this a dinner?

Waitress: We have carrot cake, cheese cake and apple pie.

Walker: How do you not have chocolate cake?

Waitress: Look, we don’t have any chocolate cake!

Jamaican: girl, Me want to speak with your manager.

Waitress: One moment.

Jamaican: And May I have a glass of water please?

Waitress walks away

Walker: How can they not have chocolate cake?

Jamaican: You tellin me man… all me want is some chaklit cake man.

Walker: So when do you go back to work?

Jamaican: Mi a-go back to work on chewsay.

Walker: Hey, good for you!

Jamaican: Ya man, thank you.

Waitress: Here’s your glass of water. The manager will be with you shortly.

Jamaican: Thanks for the glass of wata.
Pause
Cuyah, she gwan like she nice ee. She can’t even get me no chaklit cake man.

Walker: What is it with you and chocolate cake anyway?

Jamaican: Look Walker, me just in love it man. [Stretch out next sen tance] It’s a Jamaican thing man. Do you remember my next door neighboor?

Walker: Yeah, and his cute dog?

Jamaican: Ya man. That dog not cute no more man. Mista Brown dawg bite mi.

Walker: What happened?

Jamaican: It was like this man. I was takin out da trash man, you see. I put a bottle of oilleeee in front of my door. When I got back, mi bokklo of isle was bruk. Me say, “Who bruk de bokkle of isle?” And there was Mist Browns dawg man. And I say, “Why you buk me bokkle of isle dawg?” And he bark at me, so I bark man. And dat dwag bite mi man.

Walker: You barked at the dog?

Jamaican: Ya man, it was my Jamaican instinct.

Manager: Good afternoon gentleman, I’m the manager, Marhsa. What can I do for you today?

Jamaican: Marsha, I just want some chacklit cake. Your waitress says you got none.

Manager: I’m sorry, we have no chocolate cake today.

Jamaican: I’m not satisfied.

Manager: What would you like?

Jamaican: Me want this meal to be on da house.

Manager: I’m afraid I can’t do that. We haven’t done anything wrong sir.

Jamaican: You don’t have no chacklit cake!

Manager: Well it isn’t on the menu, what do you want me to do about that.

Jamaican: Put it on the menu man.

Manager: We will consider doing so in the future, but what else can I do for you today.

Jamaican: All me want is chacklit cake. Why do you have to go breakin me heart?

Manager: I’m sorry sir, we just don’t have any chocolate cake.

Owner: What seems to be the problem here? I’m the owner, Alfons.

Jamaican: Look bradda, I’ll I want is some chaklit cake. Your people are tellin me that you got none.

Walker: All he wants is chaklit cake, can’t you find some?

Owner: Are you Jamaican?

Jamaican: Ya man.

Owner: My wifes 3rd cousin is Jamaican. I’ve been to Jamaica once. It’s beautiful there. Jamaican people are very friendly.

Jamaican: Thank you bradda.

Owner: I will get you some chocolate cake.

Jamaican: Thank you maaaan.

Owner: We are sorry for the inconvenience. Is there anything else I can do for you today.

Jamaican: Just the chaklit cake man. Please make sure it’s got nuff icening.

Owner: Of course.

Owner and manager walk step back from microphones 5-8 feet of so… ITALICIZED PART IS SAID AT SAME TIME AS THE FIRST JAMAICAN LINE. THE OWNER AND MANAGER ARE TALKING IN THE BACKGROUND.

Owner: How dare you disrespect a jamaican customer like that. Go get some chocolate cake from the Cake shop down the street and make sure it has enough icing.

Manager: But sir…

Owner: Get a move on it!!!

Jamaican: He’s a good maaan that owner is.

Walker: He sure did a nice thing there.

Jamaican: Ya man.

Walker: This one is on me.

Jamaican: De nex time I will buy. Thank you maaann.

Walker: I still can’t believe that about your neighbors dog. I can’t believe he bit you. I can’t believe you barked at it!

Jamaican: hahahahaha. Ya man, it was pretty funny. It hurt though.

Walker: Yeah, that dog has some big teeth actually.

Jamaican: You’re tellin me. Check this out.

Walker: Wow, that’s a deep bite mark.

Jamaican: Ya man, whatever.

Owner: Here’s your chocolate cake sir.

Jamaican: Boboclat. This looks amazing man. Thank man, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

Owner: It’s my pleasure. Enjoy.

Jamaican: This is so good man! I feel like I’m on top of a rainbow! Me love chacklit cake with nuff icening!!!

Background dish clanking stops…

Eric’s music fades up...

Jamaican: Thank you for listening. I hope you enjoy the rest of Dark- ness Visible Radio on WPRK 91.5 FM. This is your friendly Jamaican friend, goodnight.

Comments:
the reason why it won't print off of the blog is that you are supposed to put it in the R drive.
 
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