Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Jamaican FINAL

Attention Cast Members: Printing this script off of blogger will not work. For your convenience, I will print copies for everybody. See you tonight, and please look over your part.

Walker: Walker
Owner: Seth
Waitress: Josi
Manager: Maddy
Jamaican: Adrian
Eric in background

Jamaican Script

Jamaican goes to order food in a New York City dinner.

Narrator: A Jamaican goes to eat and meet his friend at a diner in New York City.

Sound of dishes clashing in background / people talking / some people yelling food orders at cued parts

Jamaican: We're jamming
 I wanna jam it with you,
 We're jamming, jamming
 And I hope you like jamming too.

 Man, me love Bob Marley…. Me hungry… where da waitress at. Common me hungry.

Pause for several seconds

Waitress: Are you waiting for someone?

Jamaican: Ya man.

Waitress: Would you like to order now?

Jamaican: Ya man.

Waitress: What do you like?

Jamaican: me want chaklit cake with nuff icening.

Waitress: we don’t have that, desserts are on the back

Jamaican: bomobclat...how you not have chaklit cake.

Waitress: we just…

Jamaican: with nuff icening.

ERIC: You are yelling the following dialogue in background (away from microphones). When waitress begins to say cheese cake, you yell in background [W/ NEW YORK ACCENT]
“One order of bacon burnt to a crisp, two eggs over easy, 3 orders of pancakes. Let me get two coffees and make it quick!”

Waitress: We’ve got carrot cake, cheese cake and apple pie.

Jamaican: Me want chaklit cake with nuff icening.

Waitress: What are you?

Jamaican: … I’m jamaican.

Waitress: Well we don’t got no “chaklit cake with nuff icening” so move it or lose it.

Jamaican: No badda mi. You’ve got no chaklit cake.

Waitress: I’m sorry... [sir]

Jamaican: bredda! Wagwan!

Walker: That test sucked.

Jamaican: Boy! I thought that test would have been easy man.

Walker: Me too. What are you gettin?

Jamaican: Me want chaklit cake, but she say they not got any.

Walker: No chocolate cake!? And you call this a dinner?

Waitress: We have carrot cake, cheese cake and apple pie.

Walker: How do you not have chocolate cake?

Waitress: Look, we don’t have any chocolate cake!

Jamaican: girl, Me want to speak with your manager.

Waitress: One moment.

Jamaican: And May I have a glass of water please?

Waitress walks away

Walker: How can they not have chocolate cake?

Jamaican: You tellin me man… all me want is some chaklit cake man.

Walker: So when do you go back to work?

Jamaican: Mi a-go back to work on chewsay.

Walker: Hey, good for you!

Jamaican: Ya man, thank you.

Waitress: Here’s your glass of water. The manager will be with you shortly.

Jamaican: Thanks for the glass of wata.
Cuyah, she gwan like she nice ee. She can’t even get me no chaklit cake man.

Walker: What is it with you and chocolate cake anyway?

Jamaican: Look Walker, me just in love it man. [Stretch out next sen tance] It’s a Jamaican thing man. Do you remember my next door neighboor?

Walker: Yeah, and his cute dog?

Jamaican: Ya man. That dog not cute no more man. Mista Brown dawg bite mi.

Walker: What happened?

Jamaican: It was like this man. I was takin out da trash man, you see. I put a bottle of oilleeee in front of my door. When I got back, mi bokklo of isle was bruk. Me say, “Who bruk de bokkle of isle?” And there was Mist Browns dawg man. And I say, “Why you buk me bokkle of isle dawg?” And he bark at me, so I bark man. And dat dwag bite mi man.

Walker: You barked at the dog?

Jamaican: Ya man, it was my Jamaican instinct.

Manager: Good afternoon gentleman, I’m the manager, Marhsa. What can I do for you today?

Jamaican: Marsha, I just want some chacklit cake. Your waitress says you got none.

Manager: I’m sorry, we have no chocolate cake today.

Jamaican: I’m not satisfied.

Manager: What would you like?

Jamaican: Me want this meal to be on da house.

Manager: I’m afraid I can’t do that. We haven’t done anything wrong sir.

Jamaican: You don’t have no chacklit cake!

Manager: Well it isn’t on the menu, what do you want me to do about that.

Jamaican: Put it on the menu man.

Manager: We will consider doing so in the future, but what else can I do for you today.

Jamaican: All me want is chacklit cake. Why do you have to go breakin me heart?

Manager: I’m sorry sir, we just don’t have any chocolate cake.

Owner: What seems to be the problem here? I’m the owner, Alfons.

Jamaican: Look bradda, I’ll I want is some chaklit cake. Your people are tellin me that you got none.

Walker: All he wants is chaklit cake, can’t you find some?

Owner: Are you Jamaican?

Jamaican: Ya man.

Owner: My wifes 3rd cousin is Jamaican. I’ve been to Jamaica once. It’s beautiful there. Jamaican people are very friendly.

Jamaican: Thank you bradda.

Owner: I will get you some chocolate cake.

Jamaican: Thank you maaaan.

Owner: We are sorry for the inconvenience. Is there anything else I can do for you today.

Jamaican: Just the chaklit cake man. Please make sure it’s got nuff icening.

Owner: Of course.


Owner: How dare you disrespect a jamaican customer like that. Go get some chocolate cake from the Cake shop down the street and make sure it has enough icing.

Manager: But sir…

Owner: Get a move on it!!!

Jamaican: He’s a good maaan that owner is.

Walker: He sure did a nice thing there.

Jamaican: Ya man.

Walker: This one is on me.

Jamaican: De nex time I will buy. Thank you maaann.

Walker: I still can’t believe that about your neighbors dog. I can’t believe he bit you. I can’t believe you barked at it!

Jamaican: hahahahaha. Ya man, it was pretty funny. It hurt though.

Walker: Yeah, that dog has some big teeth actually.

Jamaican: You’re tellin me. Check this out.

Walker: Wow, that’s a deep bite mark.

Jamaican: Ya man, whatever.

Owner: Here’s your chocolate cake sir.

Jamaican: Boboclat. This looks amazing man. Thank man, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

Owner: It’s my pleasure. Enjoy.

Jamaican: This is so good man! I feel like I’m on top of a rainbow! Me love chacklit cake with nuff icening!!!

Background dish clanking stops…

Eric’s music fades up...

Jamaican: Thank you for listening. I hope you enjoy the rest of Dark- ness Visible Radio on WPRK 91.5 FM. This is your friendly Jamaican friend, goodnight.

the reason why it won't print off of the blog is that you are supposed to put it in the R drive.
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