Tuesday, September 19, 2006

WhAt TiMe BaBy WhAt TiMe

Eric Cohen

Sarah: Radio Girl
Lilly: British Flight Attendant
Rich: Overexcited weatherman
Proffesor Boles as Proffessor Boles
Seth: Really strung out
Me: Smarty pants
Nate: Split personality
Walker: Hickity hick I want to see some hip action
Johnny: Macho man Randy Savage


What time will it rain today?

Radio Guy: You ever notice how much its been raining lately? Well…. My dear friend,from my childhood Macho Man Randy Savage, started a betting service where you can bet on what time its going to rain at Rollins College. Don’t miss out every tuesday night at www.whattimewillitraintoday?.com or you can call in and place your bet by dialing 508-380-7455. We have a serious of expert weathermen appearing tonight we look forward to hearing from you. Feel free to phone in throughout the duration of the show.

10 minutes later…

Lilly: Flight Attendant: Hello!?

Sarah: You’re on Darkness Visible Radio.

Lilly: Cheers mate!

Sarah: Cheers!?

Lilly: I hale from England

Sarah: Ohhh… Well I didn’t know that wprk has connections in England.

Lilly: Well my mothers, fathers, daughter attends so im listening through pod cast. Anyway whoooo. I’m so excited that my phone call finally went through…. I’ve been calling the station for hours. I heard that the hours between 12 p.m. and 6 a.m. are getting double the odds. Is this information proper.

Sarah: You are correct. Our weatherman will be coming on the air after this call but you can place a bet if you’d like.

Lilly: I would indeed enjoy betting on 10 o’clock. I’m feeling really lucky. Also, I want to say if I win I am going to take Rollins College to Vegas.

Sarah: Well Alice I hope it rains at 10 good luck and power to you. I’m sure half the campus will be doing the rain dance for you.

Lilly: Chereo

Sarah: Well bye now

Sarah: Interesting… moving on. We now have our weatherman who is about to join us he is a graduate from the University of Hardnox Dr. Enis

Rich: I have some ffaaaannntaaasticcccc news for our listeners I have just issued a severe weather warning for the Winter Park area I know it is going to rain so all you sorry students get off your asses and join us call go online this will be an intense night remember it counts for the first droplet only! START BETTING! I will guarantee you an intense night! it will rain! 10:54 count on it! this is Dr. Enis out! By the way all you single women my phone number is 978-886-1864. I also except dates from all women and I do mean all women.

Sarah: Well you guys heard it first Dr. Enis…. By the way his education or rather lack there of is what or how do you say it lacking.

(ringing)

Professor Boles: Hello!

Sarah: Hi your on wprk radio Rollins College radio

Professor Boles: Hi I’m actually a Professor at Rollins.

Sarah: Well this is a first Professor are you a gambling man?

Professor Boles: Well actually if Dr. Enis is guaranteeing Rain at 10:54 I will believe it

Sarah: Wait professor aren’t you the director of Darkness Visible Radio

Professor Boles: Actually I am….

Sarah: Then don’t you know the outcome of the script since you gave the approval and read the script

Proffesor Boles: That is correct… are you still willing to take the bet then

Sarah: No… by now!.... haaa anyway next caller… How the heh..

(ringing)

Seth: Helo! (quick and short remember your strung out)

Sarah: Hi! Welcome to (singignly) Whhattt Time Will It rraaaiiin?

Seth: I want to make a bet now

Sarah: Well sir just calm down slow your horses whats your rush.

Seth: I got a million things going on right now… my girlfriend is “that doesn’t belong in there”

Sarah: Excuse me

Seth: not you “hunny stop it put that out of eeeewwww no don’t do that”

Sarah: Well seems like you have something going on overthere

Seth: Sorry I just want to make a stupid bet on ummmm say noon wed.

Sarah: Sorry sir you must bet on Tuesdays… (covering the mic) is this guy stupid

Seth: Uhhh I herd that ok ok ok so make it for twelve thirty tonight…. Just give me a second let me ugghhhhh there we go. From what I understand twelve thirty there is a rain warning. Sooooo… Yup twelve thirty it is.

Sarah: that was interesting anyway moving along we have another weatherman coming up from Harvard Mr. Libowitz

Me: Well actually the weather is showing that there will be a big storm coming at 4:00 this morning. But according to the dropping temperature I suggested callers, gamers, and onliners get ready and start betting. It will rain tonite guaranteed.

Sarah: Well Mr. Libowitz can I bet as well?

Me: Suurree. But you need to understand that you will mess up the equation. I would need to go back to the blackboard and start doing all my brainstorming all over again. I would like to tell all my listeners out there what my equation consists of temperture, cloud cover, and then lick your finger and count to ten. If your finger is dry then it is going to rain within the hour. This is a patented formula that I have come up with. People please use this formula. If it works for me it will work for you.

Sarah: We’ll you heard it first from our own Dr. Libowitz.

Sarah: I hope all our callers out there are willing to take this fine mans advice and go on call… I wanna hear your voice you dont wanna hear mine

(ringing)


Sarah: Hello your on the air….

Nate: Hello my name is Smitty-John

Sarah: Not important but how may I help you

Nate: (personality 1) I would like to know more about this betting service.

(personality 2) Shutup stupid! You know all about the betting service

(personality 1) Do I… Ughh No Idiot

(personality 2) Well ask her about your bet

(personality 1) Excuse me miss what do you think about betting at 9:23

Sarah: Well I believe the earlier the better because once the first droplet start to come down we have our winner so eventually the earlier the better in my personal opinion but, according to my perfesor im not allowed to bet (start crying)





Nate: (Personality 1) Awww don’t cry

(personality 2) Stop being a softy dumby all you want out of this is to make a bet you don’t care if shes crying

Sarah: You know I don’t have to bookie your bet if your going to be rude

Nate: (personality 1) Im sorry its my

(personality 2) Don’t apologize for who you are

(personality 1) Ooooooooo yea my medication ill take care of this

(personality 2) Waiittt im done with you yet don’t you dare swallow this pill

(gulping sound)

(personality 2) ahhaaa im still here and Mr. sweeatheart is gone…. So listen hunney are you going to let me place my bet or what

Sarah: Well of course I need to make money some way… What time would you like?

Nate: (personality 2) Haven’t you been paying attention I (aggravated) 9:23… Your job is to listen to me

Sarah: Sorry you obnoxious son of a bitch… I got a good idea good bye… Next caller…

Walker: Howdie hooo ranger joe… My name is Johnny Tsunami and I was once Eric’s invisble friend but now I’m real oooo yea but I want to place a bet.

Sarah: OO yea what would you like to bet on….?

Walker: ughhhh rain of course…(whisper) I thought I was outthere

Sarah: Excuse me… anyway tell me something… do you have money to pay for this

Walker: Just because I used to be invisible doesn’t mean I don’t have money I have a steady job cleaning windows out infront of Rollins at the main entrance on Fairbanks… you know by the soccer field I usually get about yea a dollar per car

Sarah: Well that’s good enough for me but if you start bouncing checks the boss is going to be pissed.

Johnny: OOOOO noo!!!!!! I don’t except anything if theres is going to be a risk

Sarah: Well sir I didn’t mean to….

Johnny: listen babe their aint going to be no transaction here ooo yeeaaaa no transaction

Walker: Well sir if I may interpret this I can give you the cash before I make the bet

Sarah: so boss…. How bout it

Johnny: Well thatll be just fine…. OOOO YEAAAAA

Walker: Well then I will swing by Rollins at drop of cash for 9:54

Sarah: Johnny tsunami cant wait to meet you and that’s all the time we have today for What time will it rain? Ladies and gentleman ask yourselves what time will it rain today? And then call us we love you guyz our listeners without you meat heads like macho man would be out a business then I would be to but besides the fact I appreciate you guyz keeping me busy this me signing out.

Peace yo I respect the hood anthem stand UPPPPPPPP LATA!

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